Table For One

I watched a news story a few weeks ago which captivated my attention regarding an elderly widow who would go to a favorite restaurant by herself.  Part of the story was how she felt connected to her deceased husband, by returning to some of their favorite places they would go and share time or a meal together at.  However, on one particular occasion when she showed up for dinner and was seated after asking for a table for one, she was observed by a group of young men nearby.  An interesting twist to this story was that it took place in the south, the elderly woman was white and the group of young men who were sitting near her happened to be black.  One of the young men in the group saw this lady sitting by herself and told his friends that he did not like to see people eat alone, as he felt everyone should have the opportunity to eat with others and make friendly conversation.  The three friends went to the lady's table and asked if they could sit with her and when she said yes, they proceeded to have a wonderful meal as they got to know each other in this unexpected manner.  At the end of the story, the young men stated that they felt a connection to her and as a result they became friends who regularly met for meals and to catch up with each other.  They also mentioned how they felt she was like a grandmother to them all and when they spoke to the lady at the end of the segment, she also indicated that she felt as if she was meant to meet these boys, whom she too considered to be more like her own grandchildren as well.  I always like to hear a good story about human connection and this was added to my list of favorites upon its conclusion.  It also made me wonder about the many people in this world who get to a point in their lives when they may be alone due to their age or perhaps no longer have an immediate family member or friend.  As I thought more about the story, I felt the question being posed at the end was would we be as gracious as the three young men when faced with a similar situation and be willing to do the same as they did?  For the most part, I think our world is spinning at such a rapid pace, that in many cases when we are at a public venue we almost don't look at each other in the eye, because we are so busy looking at our phones and fail to connect to others who could have had shared a moment with us, if we took the time.  This was also a reminder for me to be more observant of those around me and when presented with an opportunity, perhaps I should make the first move in greeting someone or even offering to sit with those who may be looking for some company.  I also have to say that I commend the mothers of those three young men, who raised their children in such a way that not only were they well mannered and respectful, they were also taught to look out for the elderly who perhaps need some assistance, even if it was to have a conversation so that they felt the universal love for one another.  As we arrive at this Mother's Day weekend, I celebrate the many wonderful mothers in this world who instilled in their children such moral values that will live on as part of their great legacy.  Cheers to all of the Mom's, Grandmom's and the Mom like figures which played a great part in making us who we are today! 🌹❤

Expectations

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Expectations”

By

Rob Claudio

I was watching an animated movie not too long ago about a bull named "Ferdinand" and was captivated by the heart felt story along with its beautiful images.  I laughed at many scenes, yet, most importantly was mesmerized by the core story of how this bull was criticized when he was young along with as an adult, for not wanting to behave like most bulls.  While his peers were captivated by the thought that they could face a matador and achieve glory in a bull ring, Ferdinand, was perfectly happy smelling the flowers as he preferred to take care of them with his nurturing and kind demeanor.  It is a great family film which I highly recommend and what prompted me to write about it was that I kept telling others what a good movie this was and someone finally told me that I should write about it in my blog.  Hence, here we are.  I love that the many morals to this story are such that there is a lesson for just about everyone in it.  The primary element of having a world which expects you to behave in a certain way because of the stereotypical views of others at large is primary.  When you think about the topic of bullying, no pun intended, we have seen tragic instances where very young people in real life were relentlessly tormented and the culmination of unfortunate and sad endings associated with some of those stories always breaks our heart.  Therefore, I wondered out loud if perhaps the examples of tales such as this one about this beautiful bull, could help change the world with a more positive voice for those that feel marginalized.  For kids or adults to finally come to the realization of what being unique and individualistic means along with a strong sense of self, is ideally what the rest of the world should see as part of our humanity's inclusion.  This is when others expectations can become overwhelming for some, who may not fit into what the world expects of them.  Most importantly, I believe that the world balances itself out by ensuring that a variety of people along with their different strengths exist, in order to show us that we need everyone to come together to help make us all better people.  Therefore, if we are to be the examples for the future of our world, then we should begin by acting in such a way that our future generations would feel proud of the work that we did during our lifetime.  As one celebrates the gifts and talents which our peers bring, we must also keep an eye out for those who may not be as strong as us, as we need to help them when needed to ensure that everyone feels a sense of belonging.  Whether it is the story of this bull or perhaps another narrative you know personally which can enable a child or an adult come to the realization that everyone belongs, is definitely more of what our world needs now.  Our future generations will hopefully be able to attest to the good that we were able to achieve via our own personal contributions, if we start by being better examples for others to follow now.

On a separate note, I have to say that I received the news that our long-time editor of our newsletter, Pat Thornton passed away, along with many of our members not too long ago.  As a result, this will be my first column since I began this journey of writing many years ago, where I was not reminded by Pat about my impending deadline or asking me if I have new ideas to share.  I too will miss Pat dearly as she was a dedicated member of our organization past and present, who sought the best for all of us, while keeping us accountable for our contributions along with service to others.  Ms. Pat, I hope that you are laughing joyfully while looking down on your family and friends as you ensure that others are also doing their part in the eternal organization which we will all be a part of some day.  Rest in peace, Go U.C. Berkeley Bears and God bless!!

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” 

― Donald Miller

Clarity Without Sight

I am sharing a copy of my latest blog column to be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Clarity Without Sight”

By

Rob Claudio

After the busy holiday season came to an end and the lights along with decorations were put away until the end of this year, I contemplated the possibilities in the new year ahead.  I am always hopeful that I can achieve more, as I balance this by also getting rid of things that do not serve me well any longer.  Usually, my year begins with immense gratitude that I got to live through another year, as I was able to see and celebrate last year's conclusion with family along with close friends.  At the end of my holiday vacation down time, I was also able to catch up on lots of recorded shows that I seem to not get to, until I find the extra time.  Among my finds was an episode on 60 Minutes, which highlighted the life of an architect in the Bay Area, who in his mid-life years lost his ability to see due to a removal of a tumor in his head.  He was married with a son and walked the reporter through his harrowing life changing event, as he was left to begin the most challenging part of his life without having his precious sight.  He mentioned how much he focused on his young son through this experience, as he wanted to be a great example to him in showing how one can overcome any type of adversity.  His focus on being the best example to his wife and son, cast the light away from his new blind condition as he set out a new course for living in a world that he was used to in a very different way.  Then after a thirty-day recovery from a surgery that took away his sight, he decided he needed to go back to work.  However, as an architect this would prove to be even more challenging as he needed to begin his career with the help of some role models, who had experience in transitioning to leading productive lives without seeing.  Upon receiving some needed assistance from those individuals, he went about finding his way back to architecture with a different twist.  He managed to figure out how to draw by using some malleable material that he could bend into shapes, which would take shape in the form of architecture drawings.  Amazingly enough his career brought him to become a new type of architect, with an added feature of making things more accessible for blind people.  Through his new invigorated work, he has been hired on many projects with world renowned companies, whom he has helped to be better modern workplaces along with aesthetic designs for people with sight and without.  At the conclusion of his interview they asked him if he were able to get his sight back would that change his architectural ability now and he responded emphatically that not having sight gave him the needed clarity to be a better architect.  I found his story along with his final answer to be so powerful and uplifting, when you consider how many of us with all our faculties may not be reaching our full potential, given that we may not suffer from many if any limitations.  His perspective on life, his love for his family and his determination to change for the better was the best ending to my recordings of last year, which I was so happy I did not get to until a quiet retrospective morning in twenty nineteen.  This story can help many of us remember that we can overlook our ability to do more and be better, by not taking things for granted.  How we react to circumstances and our resolve to rise above anything that may be perceived as a hurdle, may end up making us even better in our days to come.  Therefore, as you plan your year ahead, remember the lesson from the architect, who learned that clarity can come from not having eyesight and the world can be even brighter if you are determined to look at it that way.   

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn't mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.” 

-Enoch Powell

Compassion for All

I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

“Compassion for All”

By

Rob Claudio

One of the things I enjoy doing as the weekend comes to an end is watching the CBS show Sunday Morning, after making a pot of coffee and reading the newspaper in-between. I enjoy watching this program because it always has a great mix of stories that are both informative and filled with positive pieces about what goes on in a good part of our world, which we aren’t shown every day.  It is my counter punch to the daily ongoing news that seems to come at us with lots of negativity along with doses of fear about many things.  Hence, I make it a point to balance all that appears wrong with much that can also be right.  On a recent episode, there was a great story about a young man on his way to work in the Midwest and inadvertently hit a squirrel that darted in front of his car.  Two policemen had their cameras on when they stopped to see the young man performing chest compression CPR.  Initially, the policemen couldn't see that it was an animal, as they thought it may be a child, until they walked up closer.  When the men saw that it was a squirrel, they figured that it was already dead.  The policemen became the narrators of the story as they were a witness to this incident happening on the ground.  As they kept rolling their tape after what appeared to be a failed valiant effort by this good Samaritan, the squirrel suddenly came back to life and jumped up as it ran over into a nearby tree, to the astonishment of the three men observing.  The savior of this squirrel was absolutely ecstatic, as the policemen stated that they have never seen anything like this.  When they further questioned the individual about why he decided to perform CPR, his response was that he had to do what was right, even if it was an animal that most people would not care too much about.  As the story closed, this individual who saved the day was identified as a local college student that wanted to study medicine in the future.  The final piece of the segment ended with everyone in agreement that he was going to be the best healer in the field of medicine, if this incident was any indication about his compassion for human life.  I absolutely loved this story and was so glad that it was captured on video, if only to memorialize what doing the right thing looks like through the efforts of a caring human being, especially when they thought nobody was looking.  To me, these stories also revitalize me in a way that so many of the other life draining dramas don't.  The other thing that this served as a reminder for, was that there are many more good narratives about good people that do not make the news.  I am positive that there are unsung heroes in many communities through-out the world that constantly do the right thing without an audience of any kind.  My faith in others that have such integrity is strong, although we may not hear about it daily.  I just know that they exist and as a result our world can be a better place for all of us.  It is my hope that many of you also look for those unique features of human kindness and compassion as often as you can, as I believe they will continue to fill your life with the good that we all could use more of. 

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
-Maya Angelou

Sunsets and Netflix

I am sharing a column that will be published next month. 

Inventing Your Life

By

Rob Claudio

A few weeks ago, I saw a message that reminded me to watch more sunsets than I do Netflix.  I must admit I am a fan of that media web application; however, it was a jarring moment when I thought back to when was the last sunset that I was a witness to?  As I scoured my brain, it was several months ago in the late spring when I was traveling in Northern California and I recall heading back to my hotel from a long day of adventures at a state park, as the backdrop on my last leg of that journey was a beautiful sunset that illuminated my drive.  I could not believe that it had been several months since that occurred and I can also confess that I have watched more Netflix shows in the interim.  The sad reality that I had to be reminded about something wonderful that happens every day and that we all take for granted, was an excellent point for me to think about being present for all of life's beautiful moments.  A good counterpoint to this was when I was at the local football park on a recent Saturday morning, after a mad scramble to get to my nephew's game on time.  As I finally sat down and took in the surroundings, I was just happy to be present among the many families and friends that came out to support these junior players, along with a very spirited team of young cheerleaders.  I laughed when I saw the coaches get so excited as they barked out plays and words of encouragement to the little tykes that had energy for days.  I also smiled along with the proud parents whose child had made a great play, as they all fumbled to take a video of the moment that had just passed them.  It brought to my mind the commercial of the lady trying to take a picture of the breached whale, as she misses the opportunity because she was looking for a piece of gum.  There were more moments of joyful laughter for me indeed. Most importantly I was very pleased to see all the great support provided to these very young athletes, as they marched to a winning day of playing a beloved game which is as American as apple pie.  As I finally got up to fold up my chair, I did think about the enjoyment of this afternoon and acknowledged that it was much better than watching a movie or show on television.  The great keepsake of this day for me, was that real-life experiences while enjoying the simple things in our everyday lives, are filled with pure joy which can keep your tank of energy filled up for weeks to come.  As you make your way through the busy itineraries of your life remind yourself if needed, that before you click on the next social media app on your phone, smart television, laptop or tablet, life is feeding you spoonfuls of precious and enjoyable moments.  Be grateful for those that bring a smile to your face and take the time to savor all of it and yes, open your window, sit on your porch or balcony if you have it and make it a point to watch a beautiful Fall sunset or two, you won't regret it!

“Get outside. Watch the sunrise. Watch the sunset. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel big or tiny? Because there's something good about feeling both.” 

—Amy Grant

Lessons From Losing

We have all had our share of finding ourselves on a particular losing end of a situation.  We could not have existed as long as we have, without having these type of experiences.  When I think back to what could be my earliest memory of this, perhaps it would be playing a game of tag and being the last one who was it.  Although it may have been disappointing being in the company of friends or family that were part of the game that I had lost, the experience still made me laugh as we marched on to our next game.  Then there was the time at elementary school when our team lost the kick ball game that we should have won and again there was that sinking feeling followed by a pat on the back by the teacher or friend on the team, making me feel just a bit better about not winning.  When I think about those early losses, I remember that I was focused on not losing again immediately afterwards.  The thing about losing is that it does give you tougher skin almost right away, while it strengthens your resolve to be better so that we can be on the winning end the next time around.  As we get older, some of the losses may be considerably deeper, which can take more than a pat on the back to get over them.  I recall that one of my favorite teachers in 7th grade, Miss Tanner, was the person who had a small library in her classroom and within it, were books by the author C.S. Lewis and I first read Prince Caspian as a result.  She introduced me to this magical world and the stories within them, made my imagination soar above the clouds along with some of those flying magical creatures that were part of this other world.  After arriving in high school a couple of years later, I found out over the summer before my freshman year began, that Ms. Tanner had been in a car accident on her way back from visiting family in Utah and lost her life in the process.  I remember that it was the feeling of losing someone who I never told how much she meant to me, as one of my favorite teachers that I would never see again.  I still remember her smile and stories about how she would make fake ice cream from the falling snow back home in Utah, that still remain with me to this day  While the older we get, the more we see the loss of life among our loved ones which also bring us to our breaking point.  I have learned that I need to ask myself not too long afterwards, what did I learn from them?  This also evolved into, how could I continue to honor the memory of someone that I loved, so that they remained part of me and feel like I could still make them proud.  There are many varied answers to these questions, however, my point is that we continue to learn from all of these losses, as we work towards making ourselves a little bit better everyday.  Last week we lost Ms. Aretha Franklin who was an iconic singer whose hits dotted the history of my life growing up.  Another loss for all of us who enjoy great music, however, I am thankful that there exists many video and music clips where we can relive and celebrate the great talent that she was to all of us.  I hope that as you think about loss and what you learned, that you are also able to manage a smile when you think about how much you have improved your life as a result of the lesson which followed those experiences.  While we are still alive, we get to learn more lessons, that we hope to pass down to others so that their road may not be as bumpy and more illuminated than our may have been. 

A Neighbor For The Ages

I went to see a documentary for the second time within the last month and it felt as if I was watching the movie for the very first time.  "Won't You Be My Neighbor", depicts the life of Fred Rogers from "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood", which was a children's show on public broadcasting television that ran for 33 years.  I remember it more like a dream from being a young kid and watching his show, where I was introduced to this man who would sing short songs on just about anything and talk very genuinely about how he was pleased to see me.  As I watched the film I was reminded that through his show, in which he emphasized the importance of treating others with respect, being kind and hearing from an adult that we all matter.  In my view, this film is something that the greater population around the world could benefit from seeing, as we are all in need of such a reminder.  Through out the film, I laughed, learned new things and even cried, with montage of stories that were told about this great person, who is no longer with us today.  Through the words of his surviving wife, two sons and a myriad of the show's staff and supporting characters, we learned that he was the same person that we saw on the television set as he was in real life.  It made my heart feel so good afterwards, because the movie provided validation that we have great examples of the good that can exist among us.  As I came home from the movies later that night and began to see a bit of the news with burning fires that they were reporting through the western parts of the U.S., along with other negative stories that went from politicians to the losses of life around us, I quickly began to yearn for an additional dose of Mr. Rogers to remind me that things were going to be okay.  It is funny, how we are all in need of hearing this from time to time. If you are old enough that you no longer have your parents with you, it is the reassuring voice from someone like them that can fill an empty space inside your heart and enable you to sleep at night, with the comfort of knowing that all will be well in the morning.  There are far too many other examples in the world about how things are not going right and very little attention is paid to what actually is.  I therefore highly encourage you to not only go see this film, before it stops playing at the local theaters, I would also ask that you take some time to count the things that are going right in your life and have a moment of appreciation for all of them.  We rarely stop to acknowledge the good, as we tend to favor the other discussions that feel much more heavier.  Let's face it, we can talk about those negative things until we are blue in the face and we still would have more to add afterwards.  Therefore, I challenge you to take a detour from that aforementioned type of negative thinking and speaking while you pay attention to the good that you do see around you or the many positive things that are going right in your life.  I also would like to remind you like Mr. Rogers said on many occasions, "There is no person in the whole world like you and I like you just the way you are".  What child or adult would not like to hear these words, no matter what your age is?  More importantly, it would be great to see the approval of the many folks that see themselves as damaged or incomplete in some way, by simply acknowledging a person while looking at them in the eye and greeting them with a smile, as you show them respect and unconditional acceptance.  The world could be a much better place if we acted more like Mr. Rogers did and I hope that we can all agree to at least try among each other as members of the human race.