I was thinking about a fun memory from one of my favorite jobs while attending San Diego State University.  I held this job during the entire time that I attended college there and worked part time during school and full time during the summers.  It fit my schedule like a glove and the people there that taught me a lot about how I treat others today were part of this executive administrative team.  I worked for one of the vice president's of the university and he had three subordinate associates.  One of my favorite people among them had the messiest office you could ever imagine.  As you entered his office there were stacks of paper lined up along all four of the walls.  Books and other printed materials lay on top of each other, creating this collage of paper that I am sure if the fire marshal ever saw, would have declared this entire area a fire hazard.  The person that inhabited this space was named Steve and above all else, he had the most outgoing personality along with a heart of gold that was larger than himself.  Over his main desk area was a sign that read, "A Sign Of A Clean Desk, Is A Sign Of A Sick Mind".  It never failed to amuse me every time I walked into the office to deliver something for him to sign or to pick up a document that I needed to transport.  Although I was student administrative assistant, I felt that many of the lessons that I learned from that experience, has enabled me to succeed in where I am in life today.  I learned what the mechanics of working on a team looked like, which was the good along with the bad.  I began to adopt the qualities that I felt were valuable for me to succeed in life after that, among them was to treat everyone with respect and to not be defined by what ever your title happened to be.  Saying less and listening more, was sometimes the best thing that you could ever do, given the situation that you found yourself in.  Having a sense of humor about yourself and the things that you have no control over in life, will enable you to get past some of the more difficult periods  in your life.  Finally, the art of communicating and having a sense of finesse with your words, put the finishing touches on the portrait of where my life was at.  To this day, I still notice that paint all over the edges around me that created who I ended up being as a result.  I saw Steve only once after I graduated from college, which was probably about 3 years later.  I ran into him at an event that was related to celebrating the work that farm workers do and it gave me the best opportunity that does not happen to many of us as time goes by.  I was able to say "thank you", to someone that taught me so much and gave me a good example to follow with regard to proceeding in the world of work.  I have never forgotten him and I hope he has enjoyed a wonderful and fun filled life.  I am also sure that he was able to touch more people's lives as he did mine, in making us all not just better future leaders, but also better caring individuals with a big heart.

I used to teach a training module on"Excellence", that centered around doing the right things for the right reasons, especially when nobody was looking.  One of the topics that we discussed was to avoid the "3 C's" in life, which are to not criticize, condemn or complain.  The point of this was to let go things that made you critical or that brought out any negativity in your own life. When we criticize others, it implies that we know how to do things better or that our way is the best way to do things.  What we fail to realize when this occurs is that people have varied talents and the ability to do something relies on what that person's gift may be.  As a result, someone else's gift is usually not yours, so there is no point in trying to compete on that level.  Our way is not the only way and sometimes it not necessarily the best way, so we have to get better at letting certain things go and allowing others to learn to flourish at doing something with their own capabilities. I also have to add that even if you are the type that uses "constructive criticism", ultimately it is still being critical of someone else. When people condemn others or voice public disapproval over someone or something, the attention focuses on them.  It demonstrates judgement over someone else and again who are we to judge others, right?  Then we have complaining, which can tune out the rest of the world around you, as most people don't want to be an audience to this type of behavior. Complaining individuals also tell me that they are willing to spend a lot of time to describe to others and those who would listen, about what is not right in their world.  What this demonstrates to me is that they are unwilling to present possible solutions to the problem.  Another attribute of some of these individuals is that they might feel that the world owes them something or the solution to their own problem. Sometimes when you tell a complaining individual about a way they could possibly solve their problem, they almost don't want to hear it.  Why?  Well at times I think it is easier to live in the misery and chaos that people are familiar with, as opposed to heading into the unknown and dealing with the discomfort of doing things a new or better way which could ultimately change them.  Remember as you begin to create the necessary filters for you to live a more peaceful life, you may want to begin with the simple concept of avoiding the "3 C's".  Think about the possibilities of avoiding these three things and you just might be able to sleep much better at night as a result.

Over the weekend I came across a documentary that highlighted the Lakota Indian Nation in South Dakota.  Aside from the beautiful native garments that they wore for various ceremonial dances, I was captivated by the intentions and meaning behind their spiritual dances.  They are so respectful of nature and the animals that are part of their environment, in practicing their own religious beliefs they ensure that everything that they touch in nature is given its proper honor.  They dance to celebrate the "tatanka" or buffalo that roam their land, along with a bounty of other wild animals.  They revere their elders and hold them to the highest levels of respect, which is refreshing to hear compared to the more contrary current western standards.  As I saw their beautiful tapestries and other hand made items with vibrant colors that equaled the colors of the rainbow, it made me feel happy to see that joy and harmony can exist in nature through the examples of these native people.  Although the cameras were filming them, they proceeded with their daily routines and were not affected by any who were visiting and observing.  This made me remember a book that I read in college in a world religions class.  The book focused on Native Americans and how they interpreted religion through all that were living.  It was the first book I ever read that explained this philosophy and I thought it was wonderful way for people to have faith and believe in things that were created by nature and for a specific purpose beyond what we can comprehend.  The experience of the documentary and reminiscing about the world religions class, brought to mind how different we may be from others.  We can be so diverse in how we think along with our varied religions, customs and values, yet we are all bound by the simple fact that at our core we are all human beings.  We should all do a better job to educate ourselves about other people, so that we can all have a better understanding of each other.  Nobody is better than anybody else and if you believe that is true, you just have to wait a bit for nature to catch up with anyone with that philosophy.  Engage in learning and educating yourself about others that are not like you.  Have an open mind along with an open heart so that when your children or grandchildren get older, they can see through you that people are actually a lot more alike than they are different.  Embrace the differences that you see in others and relish in the fact that our world is a better place due to our great diversity.  

Looking for uplifting news or happy stories in the newspaper has become like working on a five hundred piece puzzle and you can't quite find the piece you are holding to fit into the rest.  It can be quite a challenge, depending on what is occurring around the world. The feel good types of news stories are tougher to find in the midst of what the media has redefined over the years as newsworthy. A great example of this occurred to me this morning, when I found I was a little behind in reading a couple of newspapers. By the way, I still do read them the old fashioned way as I need to feel the paper in my hand as part of the experience.  After two days of being behind in reading, I jumped in and both of the front pages were filled with nothing but stories that were less than comforting.  The negativity ran the full spectrum from what types of things that you are eating that are bad for you, to tragic losses of life around the world.  I know that there are good things that happen daily and all around us, however, those articles are not as prominent as the rest of these stories that made the headlines and back pages too.  I then took to the internet to see how many stories I could find with the keyword search that included the words, "feel good news".  Luckily, in a matter of seconds I found a multitude of stories that spanned the diversity of the globe itself. I read about a Dunkin' Donuts Shop in Boston that stayed open all night serving the first responders and police for free, as they worked around the clock to capture the bad guys in their city.  A Czech bakery in Texas that fed and gave water to any injured or first responders for free, after a massive fire exploded three miles from its location.   Then a ninety four year old woman wrote about a random act of kindness where a woman paid for her groceries as she was trying to get the money out of her purse.  The woman who paid simply told the elderly person that she just wanted to do that for her.  Finally the best story I read, was about two men in a hospital room with one who could not get up at all and laid flat on his back, while the other would describe to him what he saw outside of their window for an hour each day.  Everyday the man by the window described in detail a beautiful park, a lake in it and a variety of activity, to his bed ridden room mate.  The man in the bed lived for each day that this occurred and one sad morning the man by the window passed away quietly.  When the bed ridden man asked to be moved next to the window, he strained and struggled to finally get a glimpse to look out of that magical window, only to find that it faced a brick wall.  When the man told the nurse what had occurred she advised him that the man who had passed away had been blind and his description of what he saw was probably his way of trying to  inspire him to get better.  I loved reading all of these and there were more.  What this experience reminded me of was that we need to be vigilant in looking for things that are good.  Whether it is people, experiences or a state of mind, good exists all around us, we just have to pay attention to where it is.

Doing the right things can sometimes be much harder than taking a short cut by doing the wrong thing.  This has been a lesson that has presented itself to a vast number of people on many occasions.  You hear about issues related to this everyday in the news when someone decided to make up their own rules or completely bypass the existing ones for selfish purposes.  A key difference is that having integrity means a lot more to yourself than to others around you.  This is what can allow you to sleep at night knowing that your conscience is free from having arrived at making intentional poor decisions which can have negative consequences.  We have the ability everyday to make decisions that can allow our day to take a turn for the better, if we think about how we reap what we sow.  Sometimes it does not take a a lot of sowing before you realize the fruits of your labor.  Then there are those other periods when you seem to be laboring in doing the right things for a long period of time and you just don't see the benefits you were expecting.  To this I say that sometimes the work is harder because your break through will be worth the longer wait.  As an example, think about an Olympic athlete and the many years that they train, day after day in order to be able to compete in their sport on the world's biggest athletic stage.  Not all of these athletes make it to the cover of a box of cereal or endorse any products for a multitude of money.  The majority of these athletes compete in their sport because they are passionate about it and most of them do it for little or no money.  Their incentive is that they could be called the greatest in their sport by winning a gold medal and to represent their beloved country in the process.  I believe if you were to follow any one of these athletes, you would see consistency and discipline in them doing things right in their training, while taking no short cuts in order to arrive at their intended goal.  We may not all be Olympic caliber athletes, but we can certainly live our days knowing that we are not bypassing anything for the purpose of immediate gain.  On the the contrary, we should be living and doing things right to be an example to our children and those that will come after us.  Imagine a world where everyone did the right thing and for the right reason.  We can dream that it can happen and we can make an effort on our own behalf to get there by walking towards it, one step at a time.

Don't give up on yourself or others.  This was the simple sentence that I heard stated via a written message earlier today.  I know that I have heard this message before, it may have been worded a little differently, however, the foundation of the statement remains the same.  Depending on what your life experience may have been, you could have had a beginning that was filled with people that perhaps did not provide you with the fullest support or preparation.  There are many stories about people that were raised by their grandparents, due to the parents that were either incapable or unable to live up to their responsibilities.  Then there are great examples of single parents who valiantly took on the role of both mother and father, whom probably worked more than one job in order to ensure that their child had a place to call home.  Those parents may have had a moment where they questioned how they were ever going to get through that period, yet, they somehow had enough determination to persevere.  I recently wrote about an adult who spoke candidly about their life in the foster care system and they were never adopted into a family.  That individual found others that did not give up on her or the dreams that she had for herself.  Tenacity can be tested during many difficult instances, however, what many of us have learned from the people that made great impressions on us was that they proceeded forward in the midst of great uncertainty. Life is not easy and the things that we have to overcome along with some of the despair that may be part of our lives at any given time, can be the basis for an award winning movie of the week.  Hope is a great attribute that lends itself to self fulfilling possibilities that things can get better, if you hold on long enough to withstand the chaos.  When others around you need a word of encouragement, make sure that you speak up so that they hear that you are in their corner.  Remember, on our journeys we never know when we are the one's who need to be strengthened or when we can be the lifeline that offers a bit of respite to those that need us.

I was working on a list of to-do items around the house over the weekend, when I began to think about how that type of list could be turned into a to-do list for life.  Some people may have heard about the concept of having a bucket list, which are things that you want to achieve before you leave this Earth.  Most of us are pretty good about creating a list or jotting things down that we need to pick up at a grocery store, tasks at work or perhaps it is a list of directions for you to get to a particular destination.  Some people are really good at writing in a journal that allows them to capture what they were thinking at a given time, in order for them to memorialize what was on their mind.  Creating a list or the fact that you write things down adds power to the concepts or ideas that would otherwise be abstract.  When you write something down, your mind makes a connection that is more concrete as it links the items with greater significance.  We all aspire to achieve things in our lives, however, the ability to get to those milestones not only begins with an idea that you may have had, it also is part of a larger thought process that created the formula for the potential success.  Try to create an achievement list and write long term goals along with short term ones.  In order for people to be motivated about achieving goals they need to see some success relatively soon, so that there is a feeling of progress and that you see an outcome.  A list can change given the circumstances and periods of your life, however, goals are important markers in one's life that allow you to see progress along with development.  If your to-do list has health, finance, relationship or career objectives in it, make sure that your list is also balanced with things that also add fun and laughter.  At times we can get too task oriented that we can sometimes fail to live in the moment and when those instances of happiness or joy come about, we want to ensure that we take those in.  The next time you take out your pad and pen as you begin to make a list of things that you need from a store, remember to set another piece of paper aside as you begin to write down the things that you need for your own self fulfillment.  By doing so, you will be able to visibly check things off your achievement list as you embark on a more balanced approach to your life's journey.

The story of the great Jackie Robinson, the first African American player in major league baseball opened in many theaters yesterday.  Although I intend to go see this film imminently for the enticing story, I am equally thrilled to see this film of someone who stood up and challenged the status quo because of his passion for what he believed.  He made history and changed the minds of many people via his own trials and tribulations, about  feelings of prejudice and the pure concept of equality.  In doing some research of his biography, I also learned some other interesting things. Mr. Robinson had a stellar career in athletics where he excelled and while at UCLA, he became the first ever student to earn varsity letters in four sports for the acclaimed university.  In 1942, while in boot camp during his service in the U.S. Army he was court-martialed for refusing to move to the back of a segregated bus.  Although he was acquitted of any charges later, his courage to stand up to the establishment was an evident precursor to what would later come in his professional baseball career.  I found the correlation of experiences between him and Ms. Rosa Parks to be remarkable.  Through her defiant stance she would become the catalyst of the way a nation treated its citizens in her monumental moment when she refused to give up her seat on a bus in 1955.  The civil rights movement was certainly born through their endeavors and our nation is better because of them. When you think about how much changed occurred due to their leadership, they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders with respect to this issue.  If it were not for Mr. Robinson, I don't believe we would be able to see the diverse ethnicity that now exists in the beloved game of baseball or any other sport.  Today the stand-out players that earn year end titles and most valuable accolades, are from as varied cultures and backgrounds as the true formula of our great country. Mr. Robinson's stood in the face of fear and not only for himself, but for the other many individuals like him that did not know what might happen next.  However, he proceeded to walk through tumultuous periods with his head held high.  The boldness of his faith is part of the legacy that we have today, as a result of the path that he was able to carve for those that came after him.  I wish that more stories such as these were able to be told via the different media, so that we may be reminded more frequently about how far we have come and how much further we still need to go.  We should all be as passionate about what moves us, so that we too can contribute greatly to the world in which we live today.

The will to survive and your survival instincts can take you far beyond the threshold that anyone could imagine.  Although I originally thought about the concept when I watched a film a couple of days ago about surviving after a shipwreck, the formula that followed in order for that person to achieve their goal of sustaining their life, can be easily translated into our own daily living.  At first it was disorienting for the individual to figure out that they were headed on this journey alone, until a wild animal came into play.  This person was then motivated to not only live for himself, but also for the wild animal.  Developing a plan and looking for ways to ensure basic necessities were addressed up front and that strong sense of faith that they would be found kept this person going far longer than most would have given him credit for.  When we encounter tough challenges it too can take us a while to find our footing initially, before we look for a strategic path that will enable us to move to our desired destination.  We gather data, we look for guides and then we somehow become resolved in our ability to be successful in reaching this goal.  Interestingly, there are many instances when we are placed into these journeys that we had no original intention of making, similar to the character in this movie.  Taking a cue from the game of baseball, these instances in our lives are when life throws us a curve ball and we still have to figure out how to hit that ball before we are declared out.  Instinct often leads us to gravitate to the right direction, resources or people that can get us through.  When you think about it, there are enough people who have lived enough of their lives on this Earth overcoming issues, that it would not be a surprise to many on what to do in a particular situation.  Days can be so heavy sometimes that we wonder at night, how in the world we will be able to get through the next one, the end of the week or that particular month.  This is when your fortitude and perseverance will shine brightly on those occasions, as you realize that there is another gear inside of you that elevates you to a higher ground.  Trust in yourself and your ability to overcome any potential barrier, while you build that inner strength that will carry you through the finish line. When you have those moments of enlightenment, you realize that everyday you chip away at the big problem, until it becomes more manageable and able to overcome.   Whether you feel shipwrecked or like you have had the wind knocked out of you, never fear that there are others around you that will be your guiding lighthouse that will direct you out of the darkness and into more clear sunny days ahead.

I made a trip today to say goodbye to a co-worker who entered into her next chapter of life on Easter Sunday, as she bid farewell to her life on this Earth.  These situations are never easy as nobody is ever fully prepared to say goodbye, especially when you feel that their life ended way too soon.  When these occasions occur they always remind me about the length of our lives and how much shorter they are than we ever fully comprehend.  In the midst of being at this beautiful service where people recounted lots of funny stories about this individual, it also felt like a class reunion to me, as I kept running into people that had been part of my career since the beginning.  I had been part of so many of these people's milestone moments, when some were married or had their first child or a retirement party that I attended.  As I took in the many comments from people afterwards, it made me smile to think that although we had come together to say goodbye to someone else, we were able to acknowledge and say hello to some long time friendly faces.   For all of us that were feeling melancholy about the occasion that brought us together, we began to receive from each other some heartfelt hugs and well wishes as we briefly brought each other up on where we were in our lives.  We all began to quickly ask questions about each other's families and how everyone's well being was.  It instantly made me feel like relatives at a wedding, when you realize that a lot of time has passed since the last time you saw each other and how much you really missed seeing these people.  As we began to leave in order to make our way back to our areas of residence, I took one more look at all of the people there and it made me smile once again that the person that we were there to honor, allowed us all an opportunity to re-engage with so many friends.  The occasion also brought to mind the fact that we have this wonderful tradition of saying goodbye as we celebrate the wonderful life that someone shared with us.  In sadness, we can all be comforted by the fact that there are many people whose lives we touch and that our existence to others means a lot more than we may think it did.  Remember that in life we have moments that are filled with happiness, sorrow, contentment, hope and wonder.  My wish is that everyone has more of those moments that will inspire you to be connected to those individuals that bring you those great positive emotions.  For when the time comes that you have to experience some of the more trying periods, it can make you appreciate the good times and the happy milestones that all of you were able to celebrate together during each others lives.

This morning was moving rather slowly for me, as it appeared that my timing was very much in sync with the gloomy weather outside.  It was dark and cloudy which is the perfect backdrop for having a steamy cup of coffee while curling up with the morning newspaper.  As the day went along the clouds began to lift and soon after I was doing some research online, when I coincidentally ran into the title of a song which I had not heard in quite a long time.  After looking it up on a website and hearing it for a few moments, I was instantly taken back several years to the time when the song was its most popular.  It awakened me from the inside out.  Before I knew it I was running around my house picking up things and cleaning up my patio as I heard the song play in the background.  I was so motivated by the song that I decided to make a purchase online and buy the song for about one dollar.  I can honestly say that this purchase as minimal as it was, made me feel great as I added the track to my MP3 player that I use to go walking.  After I returned from running errands, I kept gravitating to the fact that we can all do something consistently that may appear somewhat minimal, which can get our inner spirit to feel full of joy.   I can think of many of these instances when this feeling can be captured, such as; looking at old photos, re-reading old letters or picking up one of your favorite books as you re-read a favorite chapter.  Communicating with those that make your heart feel happy is another great mechanism for raising your level of joy.  We have to remember that a recipe for a well balanced life should be very similar to a well balanced meal.  I have said this previously, however, I think it bears repeating.  Your day should look like a well balanced diet filled with proportionate amounts of inspiration, education, reflection, communication and laughter, to ensure that you the scales in your life are not weighted so much towards one side.  Think about the things that bring you those feelings of positive energy and happiness and begin to catalog them so that you can refer to them as needed.  Do something every day that brings a smile to your face and leaves your heart feeling full, even if it is just for a short period of time.  Whether your day is slow moving or fast paced, remember that you are in charge of it and the quality of your day depends upon how you orchestrate it into a well balanced fruitful existence.  

Many people are haunted by things that have occurred in their past, even though the years between the time that they felt the bad emotions to the present can span a lifetime.  It is because of this world of hurt that exists, that there is a need for professional people whose work may be devoted to counseling, therapy or other types of mediated services.  I don't believe for one moment that anybody's life has been perfect and clear of any imperfections, from the moment that they were born.  There is a great need in many people to be able to put their past behind them, in order for them to finally be able to move forward with their future.  I once was at a conference where the speaker spoke about individuals going through life while holding onto a figurative bottle filled with all of this hurt and pain inside of it.  For some the bottle could be as a large as a five gallon container, while others may have a more smaller version that could be the size of a miniature perfume bottle.  The point here was that it takes a lot of effort to walk around constantly holding onto that bottle.  Imagine if you will, conducting this exercise of living and working with a bottle that you hold onto daily, even as you got to sleep at night.  The consequence would probably be that there was a lot of work and effort involved in attempting this and it would be hard to sleep if you had to keep tucking your bottle underneath or over your covers.  If you walk with a bottle long enough, you develop a dependency to it and you may even feel comforted by the bottle itself.  However, if you were to break down the bottle, it would be spilling with hurt, pain and other emotions, which most likely is not what you would want to carry in your daily life.  It can take some time for people to empty out their figurative bottles, so that they can finally reach the point that they no longer need this vessel or container.  If you find yourself carrying around this type of bottle around, begin to ask yourself if it is worth all of the extra effort that it is taking for you to do this.  Is your life moving forward or do you seem to be stuck without feeling that you can succeed at putting this bottle down.  Better yet, give yourself the task of beginning to empty it out, perhaps one day at a time, so that you can get to the place where you no longer need it or that it is part of your life.  Don't let another day go by, without you taking some action to rid yourself of any possible negative feelings that are keeping you from being and doing what you really want in life.  Give yourself the credit and acknowledge the courage it has taken you to get to this stage and finally let the past reside where it belongs, as you begin to move forward to a more happy and harmonious state.

Are you authentically your true self?  This was one of the side bar messages from an article I read earlier today.  Through the course of the article, it explored the topic of how we should be who we are, no more and no less.  The last part of no more or less, I thought was very important to reflect upon.  When we try to be more than who we are, it can come across as not being genuine, having a hidden agenda or perhaps hiding behind a mask.  If people pretend to have more than what they have, or feel that they are less than due to not having as much as others, may cause  a lot of ill harbored feelings.  When we want to impress others by material things, that usually doesn't work out to well either, because what follows is that infamous syndrome of having to keep up with your assumed standard of living.  Having enough in those situations is always an uphill battle, as those individuals seem to play an ongoing game of needing more in order to show it off.  When you think about it, this becomes a job unto itself and nobody has that kind of time anyway.  Conversely, being less than who you really are can also have its downfalls.  If you feel that you are less than who you are authentically, it can also cause feelings relating to poor self esteem, inadequacy or that you should settle for the life that you have, as it could not get any better.  I have always believed that we should live up to a higher expectation for ourselves, as we are given the opportunities to grow through out our lifetime to reach them.  The one thing that is known about our lives is that there is no end to our personal growth until our time is up on this Earth.  I know that I always learn something new almost daily and because information is at my fingertips via the internet and other forms of media, there is plenty to select from.  Being our true self, automatically attracts the people that we want into our lives.  Without great effort, we can enjoy who we are and not work extra hard at something that we are not.  What also comes with living genuinely is that you will probably sleep better at night, as your subconscious does not have to fight with the real you when you get up in the morning.  Let go of any hang ups that you may have that can cause you to feel that you need to fill something inside of you, that is materialistic in nature versus the simpleness of who you are.  Strive for balance and as you reach your goal of living up to being your authentic self, you will find that the circle of people around you will be filled with value added individuals that will keep your life moving forward.

Today's relevant quote that made me take a moment to ponder its great significance was the following by an unknown author, "The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them".  We have all stepped or have been side stepped by what were perceived stumbling blocks.  This may have been until we had a moment of revelation somewhere during that process, that we could actually climb over those blocks and create our own form of stepping stones across that rugged terrain.  Problems, issues or situations come in a variety of shapes and sizes, along with their varied time periods.  There are many times when we are caught completely off guard and we are stuck in those moments similar to a deer in a car's headlights, not knowing which way we are going to step next.  Most of us would want to step forward, with that known sense of apprehension that can give anyone some form of anxiety, that makes us wonder if we will be able to make it across to our destination.  Some folks would venture to want to take a step back to assess more analytically to see what their next move should be.  However, sometimes we do not have the luxury of time where we are able to give ourselves a cushion, whereby we can contemplate a more thought out strategy.  Listening to your intuition and your inner voice, can be all that you have sometimes before making some of these challenging decisions.  I have always looked for that inner voice to speak to me, as I may contemplate a decision that can have a great implications for me or my immediate family. I should have prefaced that having faith and a strong belief in God, has been part of my first line of great artillery.  I do find a sense of energy that comes with making a large decision that can have this type of larger reaction, as it can be a defining moment in my life or perhaps be the catalyst to the next stepping stone that is on my life's path.  When we are deep into things that make us feel like a swimmer gasping for air, is the period that can bring introspection about where we are headed next.  For many, those days have looked like they could not not bear another day ahead, yet, somehow with strength and grace people find themselves able to get through that and more.  You have to take it all in increments and address the potential stumbling block in such a way, that they can be readjusted to look like a stepping stone after you have gotten through it.  Your perspective and attitude will be the defining formula by which you can make these moments more successful, as opposed to the type that make you want to retreat.  Remember that a stumbling block can be re-shaped into that wonderful stone where you actually step up, you just have to give yourself enough credit that your strength and determination can carve out the path that you want for yourself.