Today I saw a quote that I had seen before, however, its message was a great reminder for me.  The words of wisdom were actually a deep question that asks, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  Throughout my life I know that I had many moments where I fought quite mightily to be right.  Whether it was to prove a point to someone else or due to my inexperience in life when I was younger, where the attitude of being right went hand in hand with some of those arrogant younger years.  This is why I appreciate wisdom which is usually a great byproduct of years of living life.  If someone struggles so much to be right, the probability is that they are not necessarily the happiest people in the world to be around.  These type of people tend to deflect others, who do not want to have the negative vibe that comes with someone who has this disposition.  Look around your peers, family or acquaintances and I am sure that you will find a prime example of someone who emanates this.  It is likely that you probably seek to find ways to avoid these people, or interact with them for a very limited amount of time.  I think it would be fair to say that if you are living a more happier coexistence it does not necessarily mean you are wrong.  Happy people can overlook pretty much anything and true happiness means that you do not let things whether they are big or small create these large swings that causes an unbalanced life.  Some of the strategies to think about in assisting you to proceed down the path of happiness, is to learn to let things go quickly.  Don't keep things inside of you and let them fester, which can create and harbor negative feelings towards you or others.  Make peace with what issue may be presented to you and ask yourself what you need to learn from the experience while you simply move on.  Develop a better sense of things that matter most to you and begin filtering out those that do not.  At the end of the day, it is those important items that are truly what make you the happiest anyway.  Having to carry a grudge or keep resentment towards others, can only weigh you down as you carry that additional emotional load on your shoulders.  Learn to let go and if someone did something wrong to you, forgive them as this will bring you more inner peace.  I have found that nobody gets away while they are alive for any wrong doing that they made, so don't bother with any emotions of vengeance.  Life has a great reciprocal reaction to anything that needs correction and rest assured that someone else's lesson will eventually be taught.  Therefore, choose to be happy and let the people who insist in being right be less of an influence in your daily living.  Soon you will find that those individuals will matter less and you will be attracting more of the right type of energy which will increase your happiness even more.  

I watched a great video this afternoon that had concepts that could be related to leadership, inspiration or just plain living.  It is called "WE" and it was developed by a leadership organization called G5.   I found their material to be very refreshing and thought provoking as it presented the concept of our world needing to shift from "ME" to "WE".  The fact that they started with that concept, was tantalizing enough as I believe that there is a lot of energy in the world that is completely absorbed by the "ME" philosophy.  When you concentrate on "ME", you are excluding the possibility that you can contribute more by being part of a team.  This self centered type of thinking can be the downfall of many.  The concept of being stronger due to the interdependence of others has created change over the years that has stood the test of time.  Movements in history have been established and become part of our long term legacy due to someone who banded together with someone else for a common cause.  Then on the other hand, the examples of "ME" have surpassed what one could have thought was possible, as it relates to what we are fed via mainstream media.  Just look at the many reality shows, that are edited and staged, which present their view of reality while attracting quite a few people to watch them.  So much so, that advertisers are making money and people with little or no talent, have now become famous celebrities.  At the end of the day and perhaps after their fifteen minutes of fame are up, these individuals must face themselves in the mirror, while they take stock of who they really are along with what it is that they are contributing to this world.  Young people seemed to be obsessed with "ME" to a large extent and I can understand why, as it has become very mainstream to have people follow your every move, which some believe is part of fame.  The vehicles that are used to publicize someone's philosophy, products or points of view, are now used daily to tell people what they are wearing, what they are eating or where they are waiting and spending idle time.  Most would think that technology would have provided us with these vehicles to be able to foster or nurture the human experience in a positive way. However, everyone has been a witness to the contrary nature of most of this vehicle.  We as a people could be so much more powerful if we put forth more "WE" energy and we could provide for a better foundation for our existing children to look forward to in their adult years.  Think about what you are doing at work, home or in your community as a start and ask yourself which philosophy is driving your life.  Challenge yourself to go from a "ME" to "WE", so that you can sleep better at night and as you think about what the future has in store for you.  Finally, I leave you with a final quote from Simon Sinek in this presentation which states the following; "Things last longer when we compete against ourselves for the good of others, instead of competing against others for the good of ourselves."

There was an interesting question posed to me today regarding the clarity of the message in how we communicate.  We as the deliverer of a message always know exactly what we believe we are relaying to someone else, however, we are not always as clear in knowing that a message was as precise to the receiver.  A great example is to ask someone that you have just given directions to, to reiterate what you just said.  In a matter of moments, it is likely that you will receive some words repeated back to you that may be quite different from what you felt you stated.  The clarity of what you state is also quite evident in what you want to achieve in your own goals and expectations.  If you are vague about what you want to achieve, then you will probably receive equally vague results.  It is not that you do not know what you want to achieve in most accounts, there is usually an issue more relative to how specific you want your outcome to be.  As a result, I have great admiration for someone who is a scientist, mathematician or engineer.  The fact that that their outcomes are associated with very specific formulas to solving a problem or equation, provides for answers with great methodology .  If the outcome is not correct, then there was something wrong in the formula or the equation that created the incorrect answer.  Unlike life where there are variables that can change the outcome of our own personal equation.  We can certainly learn a thing or two about having that sense of precision that can create the circumstance that we want to see manifested.  The next time you are sitting down and reviewing what your goals, achievements or aspirations are, then be clear in what you want to see as your outcome.  Be as precise as possible in your description and don't think any detail may be too much.  Also, don't get stuck in the "what if's" that can occur to us quite frequently as we plan ahead.  Instead, focus on your specific vision that you have for yourself.  If you can vividly imagine what your future outcome is in your mind, you are giving yourself a great opportunity to achieve success.  Turn your vision into action and you will see that you can achieve things much quicker than you originally thought.

I read a quote that in summary stated to walk by faith and not by sight.  Not only do I believe this wholeheartedly, today I enjoyed being reminded that the greatest things that can occur in our lives, are not necessarily readily visible to our eyes.  Our ability to have faith that things that are going to be of benefit to us, will occur in their designated time.  The human emotions in all of us, want time to be sped up to the right now, when we are awaiting for something to happen that may take our circumstances by surprise and create change that has been eagerly awaited.  Conversely, we can all probably relate to an episode that we may have experienced with someone younger, where we offered the same advise and they looked at us and probably rolled their eyes at the sound of our sage words.  It is interesting that we end up in those situations where you can almost hear the words coming out of your mouth as you are saying them and in the back of your mind you can also hear those same words that were said to you by your parents or mentors many years ago.  I know that most of us have thought we would be immune from turning into our parents, especially if there were behaviors that we thought were not worth as adults.  If we were capable of seeing every consequence of our decisions in our future, we would all be considered to have some supernatural ability related to clairvoyance.  The flip side of that, would mean that if we knew everything ahead of time, I don't think we would ever grow as much as we could.  Our ability to be compassionate, have empathy or connect to others based upon their circumstances may also be quite diminished.  Therefore, although I can see the benefits of being a seer of the future, there is nothing that can substitute for personal growth based upon what we have been able to overcome or persevere through.  The spiritual muscle that has to be fully developed is our patience, along with our faith in knowing that better days are ahead of us.  We must also not forget to learn the lessons while we walk through the darker days or periods and always be of service to others that can benefit from our personal experience as they forge ahead through the path that we have previously walked.

I was at a business meeting yesterday and I happened to sit down next to an older gentleman who during our introduction told me he had been retired for some years from the aerospace industry.  Although we were there for a meeting about a mutual concern, he began to tell me about his life prior to going into aerospace, as he was a Veteran who had flown airplanes for the Air Force for twenty years, prior to entering the world of civilian work.  I was immediately captivated by his energy and how he was continuing to work, volunteer and consult with various organizations.  I did not ask him his age, however, he must have been in his late seventies or early eighties.  I asked him about his time in the military and flying airplanes.  He told me that he spent a lot of time in Viet Nam and he flew a myriad of different aircraft.  Poignantly he stopped at that point to let me know that this was why he was still sought after in the aerospace industry.  It was his knowledge of over fifty years  of being in the industry that he knew was the reason these companies still sought him out.  I briefly mentioned the word retirement and his eyes lit up as he promptly told me that he did not like when people are working and constantly talking about their future retirement or what they will do once they leave their current job.  To him, those individuals are not working to their fullest potential, because they do not like what they are doing.  Also, he did not think that one could ever fully retire from anything.  According to his philosophy, one has to continuously be engaged in something, that makes their mind work and to feel vibrant about their own life.  For me, this gentleman was describing and illustrating what passion looks like. In my somewhat short conversation, I felt the energy of someone that had lived a lifetime,yet, was certainly no where near finished in being or making a contribution.  I love meeting people like him, as it provides me with a great example of what is yet to come, if I am fortunate to live to be his age.  We should all be so lucky to have people like this individual that can provide us with a living example of how one can age gracefully, while their level of contributions continue well beyond the ending of a defined career.  To think that you can have many careers in variations that will continue to elicit your best forward thinking, was refreshing and noteworthy for me.  As we exchanged business cards and parted ways, I took a lot away with me that went far beyond the original purpose of my business meeting.  Today I was reminded to not talk about what I will do in the future, with a future passion perspective.  Our passion for what we do must be part of our present, in order for us to be able to reach our maximum capacity.  We should all remember to continue to plant those seeds daily that will yield a fruitful harvest in the next season of life.

I was mesmerized yesterday when I was listening to a story about a young woman who was discussing her life as she grew up in the foster care system.  She was in the system since age two and never found a permanent family to adopt her.  As she was speaking to the interviewer she indicated that she had been very lucky to have found life long friends and mentors who helped her during the course of her development.  Although at first I thought she was going to speak about the disappointment that she was never able to find a permanent family, she ended that sentence by indicating that sometimes things work out differently for some people.  Amazingly, there was no sense of bitterness or resentment in her voice as she spoke quite vibrantly of the people that helped guide her to where she is today.  As she ended her interview the reporter told her that she was going to make a wonderful family of her own some day, given the superior attitude that she developed about her perspective of what a family means along with her own values.  I could not stop thinking about how someone from age two until adulthood could grow up without stable familiar kinfolk to call your own.  We all know people around us who have grown up with a complete family unit in tact and even then, some of those individuals have a hard time adjusting to life.  Many people have grown up with a single parent family and while they too may have struggled to find a good balance of familial representation, it may have been difficult for these people to pick up the pieces as adults.  It made me wonder out loud as to why some of these unique individuals that were not provided the stability or foundation of a family, still become successful adults and flourish despite all of these circumstances.  I think that these individuals are sometimes the examples that we need to point to when all of the things in our upbringing may not have been the most ideal.  The fact that these individuals surround us, tells me that we need to have a lot more faith in people along with demonstrating compassion for others that may not have what we have.   It is the disposition that you choose to embrace as you move forward that has tremendous power, which can help one overcome those cracks that may have existed in your life foundation.  The next time you think you may have had a tough beginning to your life, remember the story of the young woman who was never adopted.  Hopefully, you will also remember that she grew up to be a well rounded adult whose light shines so bright that this is all that the world is able to see.  

Today I am sharing a copy of my newest column to be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“The Mentorship Advantage”

By

Rob Claudio

In life we always need guides to help or coach us through things, especially when we find that we lack the knowledge or experience that they may have.  These guides can be called mentors and if you happen to have them in your lifetime, you are quite lucky.  Since we all evolve with age, it is not uncommon for our mentors to change through out our lifetime.  Their wisdom and advice, however, is usually timeless. Life and work situations may take us from being an entry level staff or a stay at home mom, to working in a position with greater leadership expectations.  My younger sister calls me her spiritual advisor/mentor and I always tell her that this is a big title for someone that just listens to her and repeats what she just said.  Perhaps I should have thought longer about a career in therapy, right?   Kidding aside, I was reading a magazine article on my flight home from a business trip last month and it highlighted famous people who were asked about their life mentors.  Among them Gloria Estefan, the international singer spoke quite eloquently about her grandmother who left a lasting impression in her life, as she was in fact her greatest mentor.  I forgot to mention that the article began by stating that if Luke Skywalker could benefit from a mentor, than perhaps so could you.  It had me hooked after that.  I could not identify as readily with Luke Skywalker in his quest for a mentor such as Yoda, however, I could definitely identify with Mrs. Estefan’s choice as I had the great privilege of having my grandmother who also fulfilled this role in my life.  During the course of her existence I never thought about my grandmother with a title of mentor.  It was not until after she passed away that I realized how much she really had taught me, while she became the lighthouse to my moments of floundering at sea like a lost ship.  I was taught to not take myself so seriously at a very young age and to love nature enough to take care of it, as it took care of us.  I also learned the meaning of respect and to be compassionate, for we never know when we need someone else to bestow that upon us.   My great mentor in my life provided me with a valuable road map on how to proceed through my existence whether it was in good times or in bad.  I just did not realize it until much later that she had carefully crafted and orchestrated this wonderful plan.  I also had the privilege of calling some of the people that I had worked for great mentors as well. These key individuals took enough interest in me that they shared their precious time and bestowed upon me their wisdom, humor and passion for the work that they were so proud of.  If you have a mentor in your life, take the time to acknowledge them and tell them how much they have meant to you.  Conversely, if you have the opportunity to be such a role model for someone else, then give freely of yourself.  Be the guiding light to someone that will one day be filled with gratitude that you fulfilled this role in their life.  In the process, you will find that a mentor can learn as much if not more from a mentee, as this relationship is collaborative and symbiotic in the fullest sense.  If you are seeking a mentor, don’t be shy about asking someone you admire to share their valuable thoughts on a subject with you.  I remind myself almost daily of how lucky I have been to have had some of the greatest people who contributed so much value to my life.  I hope that you go out to seek these guides in your quest to reaching for the stars.    

“Be a great student of life, so you can be an outstanding teacher of living.” 
― Hasheem Francis

When things are going your way, there is a great feeling that invokes happiness and harmony that is almost unexplainable.  Those periods of time are the kind that we want to bottle into a container and hold for future days when a dab of favor would do all of us a little good.  Some examples that can bring these images to mind include; when you get the parking spot right in front of the store, the job that you aspired to get is all of a sudden open or you are offered a new position without expecting it.  Perhaps it is finding a lost dollar bill(s) in your coat or pocket that pays for your lunch or the movie that you wanted to see.  The instances are many, if you begin counting them and making an inventory of what went your way this day, this week or this month.  Accountants keep track of every single transaction that deals with a monetary exchange.  They can tell you at any given time how much money is coming in and how much money is going out, while providing you with your reality check of what your balance actually is.  I think we could adopt some best practices from the financial master minds of the world, by re-engineering how we keep track of the good that is part of our daily lives.  The world appears to be in much need of more inspiration from individuals that can bring to the table additional resources that are other than of a financial value.  The world tells us almost instantaneously how things are not going right at any given time.  We hear about tragedies and the people that are involved in committing such atrocities that it can make us wince to think that some terrible inexplicable thing has occurred that brings a collective sigh to us of potential defeat.  I believe that we can counter balance any type of negative thinking and we can turn to our own stored inventories into the impetus, that will help us move forward rather than taking steps back.  If we could dedicate some time to our ability to create some personal spiritual accounting of ourselves, we could soon see that our balances have more deposits than we thought we had.  In order to accomplish this, we need to take on this role and be committed to see that we are successful at it.  It all begins with taking those small steps such as writing down your notes to yourself of what has truly gone your way.  You can journal, meditate or write a reminder post-it note that you can place in your desk, to review at a later time.  Your diligence to "spiritual accounting" can make the difference between finding your life balance and we could all use more of that in our lives.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us", this is a quote by the great spiritual author Marianne Williamson. I was reminded of this quote as I was contemplating the concept of fear today, as I overheard a conversation someone was having about their fear of the unknown.  When we are younger we tend to be more fear-less than we are as adults, which is another sidebar thought that I was having as I was putting these concepts together in my head.  Perhaps it is age that is the primary factor as we are younger or older that increases or lessens apprehension due to the amount of time that you feel is left in your life.  As we get older and we realize that people our own age or younger are all of a sudden gone, then we have those moments when are reminded that time is of the essence as we cross the line between between the average mid-point in most of our lives.  We tend to be content at older stages with what is known or comfortable.  Many folks decide to leave the adventurous side of them to their younger years, which can sometimes limit the ability to be more creative with what we can do with the rest of our lives.  Part of it could also be that we work so hard to achieve a certain state of mind, lifestyle or goal, that it makes us feel that we worked hard for so long that we want to take things a little easier at some point.  I say there is nothing wrong with taking time off, however, what we cannot afford is to be complacent and allow ourselves to continue to live for that daily excitement that can perpetuate life fulfilling energy.  We all have things that can bring about those moments of doubt and even fear, however, we must combat those periods with our ability to look beyond the apprehension.  Just think about how boring life would be if you did nothing but the things that were safe and never pushed your own boundaries.  As much as this could be comfortable for some, it can also be limiting in the ability to achieve success far beyond what you thought imaginable.  Finally, I saw another great quote as I was finishing some of my cursory research on this topic by a famous Christian Preacher Joyce Meyer, who wrote the following, "When fear knocks on your door, send faith to answer and nobody will be there."  There is definitely something to be said for having lived in fear at some point in your life and being able to share your success over it afterwards with the world around you.

When a storm moves on, there is usually that period first thing in the morning, when everything is quiet with the exception of the birds that are singing away as they flutter around in the early dew.   Such was the case today when I looked outside at my patio and saw the calla lilies look bigger and brighter as they stretched up to meet the sky.  Not to be outdone were the other flowers that together appear like a fine tuned orchestra waiting for the conductor to lead them in a great concerto. I took all of this in, as I contemplated how similar our lives can be when we ourselves have those tumultuous periods that can become these tempest type stages that can test our faith, while it reinforces the strength we sometimes don't know that we had.  I know that there are many who face these situations and some with a much greater degree of severity than others.  When we go by our neighbors house, most of us are cordial with those folks that live a stone's throw away from us, however, I would gather that a lot of us do not know how severe their personal situations may be in comparison to ours.  People face dilemmas with their health, relationships, finances and even their faith at times, when the question may arise as to why someone has to go through an uncomfortable or unexpectedly stressful situation.  If you are lucky you have close friends and family that can help you walk through these moments, while offering if nothing else, a shoulder to lean your head upon.  This is why it is so important to be grateful for all things on a consistent basis.  We never know when we are the one that needs the shoulder or when we are called in the middle of the night to be there for someone that is near and dear to us.  It is an unwritten contract that we have with those special people that we all agree to sign in our hearts.  When the days are tougher than normal, our ability to reflect on the things that went right before that period becomes even more essential.  It provides us with a vivid example of the feeling that enables us to sleep at night knowing that everything is going to be okay.  There is a reason that flowers shine so brightly after those stormy days, as they have natures wisdom circulating through their roots, stems and petals.  I am positive if they could whisper any words of enlightenment to us, they would be along the lines that we should enjoy the sunny cheerful moments, so that when the next storm arrives we are prepared enough to know that those too shall pass.    

There are songs and sayings that convey the message that some of the best things in life are free. I thought about this and began to make a list of things that I could think of that are not only free, but could also make my day. Since my list is quite large, I decided to focus on nature today.  For me sitting at a beach and watching the ocean waves crash or simply roll in, depending upon what beach you happen to be at, is a great beginning to this list.  I find that a large body of water commands so much respect and that it also provides so much in return to those living on dry land, that it is hard not to recognize its majestic properties.  Ships navigate through a body of water's many currents to transport people to various destinations or they act as vessels that take needed items from one country to another.  Oceans, rivers, lakes and seas are filled with food and other supplements that we all need or prefer as part of our daily lives.  I find that one can usually find a body of water not too far from where they live and the experience can be as unique and interesting, depending on which entity you happen to find yourself in.  When I think of the sound of water running, I am reminded that there are many lifestyle gadgets that replicate this sound as a means for people to feel more tranquility or perhaps to let the noise gently rock them to sleep.  You can't go to home store these days without running into a makeshift water fountain near by.  Beyond bodies of water, I find nature can be quite spectacular in providing you with a pallet of colors and beauty that can capture anyone's imagination.  If you live in an area where you get lots of rain, then the lush vegetation along with a variety of mosses, flowers and trees can paint your landscape with a multitude of colors that can rival any famous classic painting.  Growing up in a desert area, I recall that after the winter storms you could drive out on any given highway that took you outside of town and there would be a vast array of desert flowers that sparkled along the road, with the visiting winter birds that made this their temporary homes near by.  In order to appreciate any of these examples, you have to give yourself a little time and carve out those opportunities that can come unexpectedly.  The cost for many of the things that we need and use has gone up quite dramatically in recent years, so much so, that it has created burdens for many people as they strive to achieve financial balance.  Therefore, look for ways that can add to your well being by being able to embrace and absorb some of the wonders that nature provides around you for either little or no cost.  Whether it is in your backyard, a brisk walk away or perhaps a short drive from where you happen to be, take advantage of those areas that can bring you as sense of tranquility along with a good dose of daily inspiration.  

Our lives are in fact a journey that we must all experience at various speeds and proportions that make each one of them as unique and different as we are.  When we are young it seems that we cannot wait until we are older to be able to do things that older kids or adults do.  I remember being young and having many thoughts about what I would do if I were older.  Those thoughts varied from being able to stay up late at night to being able to own and drive my own car.  I always envisioned that being older would allow for people to take me more seriously or that somehow it came with this grand sense of prestige.  Before my adolescent years I recall wanting to make my own decisions and not having to consult with my parents about anything, including the consequences of those actions.  Then when I arrived at my adolescence I felt that I could not fit in or that somehow the more popular kids had that depth of self confidence that I thought I would have along with them.  Thank goodness for sports as it taught me self discipline, while they fostered my self confidence into thinking that if I was good at something that I had focus on.  During my college years, I learned that a lot of other people felt the same way that I did during my high school years and it gave me hope that somehow I would be able to endure many things that could lead me to achieve some type of success.  My barometer for success has also changed with my years on my own journey as it turned from the materialistic realm of inventories to a deeper introverted feeling of inner peace. Since my journey is not complete, I am not yet completely there on the self actualization path of inner peace, however, I see it in various forms on a more frequent basis.  I have definitely done a better job of letting go of the things that I cannot control, while being less bothered by things that are not as important as I once thought they were.  My hope is that the people that end up walking along side of me for a period of time as my path crosses theirs, is that I will add some value to them while I look for ways to embrace any value that they could add to me.   I hope that you embrace your own journey along with the many valuable lessons it has taught you, while you seek to reach your desired destination.  

In life we always need guides to help or coach us through things especially when we find that we lack the answers to a particular problem.  These could be called mentors and if you happen to have one or two in your life, you may consider yourself quite lucky to have them.  My younger sister calls me her spiritual advisor and I always tell her that is a big title for someone that just listens to her and repeats what she just said.  I was reading a magazine article on my flight home from a business trip a couple of days ago and it spoke about famous people and who their mentors were.  Among them Gloria Estefan, the international singer spoke quite eloquently about her grandmother who left a lasting impression in her life as she was her greatest mentor. I as well had the great privilege of having my grandmother who also fulfilled a mentor type role in my life.  Interestingly, during the course of her existence I never thought about her with a title of a mentor, until after she passed away and then I realized how much she really had taught me while guiding me in her own maternal ways.  I remember very fondly that we could laugh about anything together, we would listen to music and she would tell me stories about her youth that would captivate me for hours on end.  From her I learned what strength and determination looked like, as well as, how a kind heart and a big smile could attract so many people to gravitate towards you.  My mentor taught me to not take myself so seriously at a very young age and to love nature enough to take care of it, as it took care of us.  I also learned the meaning of respect and to be compassionate for we never know when we need someone to bestow that upon us.   This particular great mentor in my life provided me with a great road map on how to proceed through my existence.  I just did not realize it until much later in my life that this was what she had carefully planned and executed.  If you have a mentor in your life, take the time to acknowledge them and tell them how much they have meant to you.  Conversely, if you have the opportunity to be such a role model for someone else, then give freely of yourself and allow yourself to be the guiding light to someone that will one day be filled with gratitude that you fulfilled this role in their life.