Your Philosophy & Your Attitude

Today I am sharing the latest colum that will be published next month. 

Inventing Your Life

“Your Philosophy And Your Attitude”

By

Rob Claudio

In doing some research about success, I ran across an important point that was made in a book I was reading on the source of a person’s attitude.  The book targets teenagers and is titled, “Success for Teens”, by the Success Foundation.  One of the chapters focuses on one’s attitude which they defined as comprised of one’s personal philosophy. This means your personal point of view about life or your picture of how life operates.  I found it fascinating that a book could touch upon such meaningful advice to a young audience, when a lot of the concepts are so relatable to adults.  If you think about your teenage years, can you remember if you had a philosophy about life?  From what I remember about those sometimes awkward years, was the feeling of not necessarily fitting in.  There were also those other peers that seemed so polished and put together, that looked like they had everything in place and could cause others to have feelings of inferiority.  Needless to say, I don’t believe that I was remotely close to having a philosophy that I could identify about myself or how I wanted to live at that stage in my life.  Fast forward to today, when the world moves so much quicker and the lives of young people are so filled with activities, that the job of being a parent has become a monumental multi-tasking responsibility.  This always appears to leave the parents with very small amounts of time just for themselves.  Children now seem to be competing in sports, music, dance and other extracurricular activities which at times transcends the line of doing things just for fun.  It follows that with so many expectations changing for your people, that they would be better prepared if they gave some thought to establishing a personal philosophy, since their attitude has already formulated most of it.  The development of a this life philosophy that is based upon one’s positive habits, can have great long term effects.  One would certainly want to capitalize on the energy filled actions that move things forward.  If you have a bad habit that you feel is time to let go, then begin the work to replace it.  They say a habit can be established or broken within twenty one days, so it does not have to be such a distant or unattainable goal when you look at that time frame. Remember that habits are related to your attitude, which in turn manifests itself as your own philosophy.   The more you let go of those things which are not positive, the more your life can be filled with those that are.  One is never too old to change things that do not add value to their life.  Good habits can super-cede the bad one’s if you make a conscience choice to do so. Finally, having an improved attitude can yield the right results that bring with it the residual effect of a life philosophy that is worth striving for.  Choose your attitude and strive for good habits that will dictate the harmonious pace you aspire to achieve for the rest of your life.

“Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Your Actions; Your Life

I am doing some reading in preparation for a meeting next week and one of the books we will be discussing focuses on how to map out success, in particular to people in the teenage years.  Among the chapters in the book, one is aptly titled, "Habits Are Powerful".  I found the information in this book to be so relevant beyond the teenage years, that I had to devote some time to take in some of the concepts that resonated with me.  Habits, can be either good or bad and as such they are what runs your life.  For instance, when you look at people with a healthy lifestyle that you admire, you usually notice some habits that are pretty prevalent in how they conduct themselves.  I remember some years ago when I went out to dinner with someone like this, they were very particular about the calories in what they were going to order and at the end of the meal that person watched a few others of us share a dessert.  I never forgot that image, because ideally I would have wanted to have the better health, weight and other intangibles that come with someone who is so ideally healthy.  Yet, I was not willing to make the sacrifice like this person to forego those items of food that were the healthier options or completely deny myself of something like dessert.  This person showed me up front what their habits looked like and I can honestly say that it is still my goal to be able to have that type of will power over what I eat along with how much.  There are other examples of good habits versus those that are not and I suspect most of us know where each one lies in respect to us.  The key message here is that nobody else is in control of your habits except you, therefore, changing a bad tendency towards a good one rests solely upon the individual.  You can have a best friend, family member or someone else that cares for you and may prompt you to focus on letting a bad habit go.  Your conscience can do a pretty good job as well in that if you are doing something that is not good for you, there is always that "feeling" that tells you so in the midst of it.   The actions that you take and the consequences that come from that, is what one has to live with.  If you have been wanting to make a change that would help improve yourself or your surroundings, then let your good habits pave the way to that destination.  The energy behind your thoughts will help you make the right decisions in the long run, as long as you are aware of when you are focusing on the good energy rather than its opposite.  Sometimes things can be as simple as black or white and most of us know the difference of what all of this looks like.  What we have to remember is that in order to achieve our goals, it is important to not lose focus and stay true to the good tendencies that will help bring about those much wanted results.    

Your Own Words Define Who You Are & What You Want To Become

My assistant was doing some shopping today for some items that we need next week.  We are in the midst of planning for a youth event and she had the presence of mind to buy journals as gift items for our youth participants.  When I saw what she purchased, they were quite appealing as they had inspirational words and phrases all over them, along with pretty pictures.  The words on one of them were interspersed from front to back with faith, hope and dreams as part of the cover.  I think Oprah Winfrey years ago introduced publicly the idea of a gratitude journal and that concept has evolved over time, as a method to help inspire or capture one's deepest thoughts.  I love the fact that we will be able to introduce or highlight the capability that a young person has in memorializing their thoughts in writing.  For me I have written over the course of my life and this blog itself has served the purpose of a journal.  Whether you are inclined to write electronically or the old fashioned way, I am of the belief that one can use this as a mechanism to recall what one was thinking at any given time.  Many folks have fleeting ideas or thoughts that if they were to give more time to them, could possibly become the blueprint for how they want to change things in their life.  Everyone should have a vision for what they want their existence to look like and if you do not, writing things down will help the other ideas to flourish.  Interestingly, I don't remember writing a lot of things down as in my adolescence and now as an adult I wish I had.  I know that I had many things that ran through my head at any given time, that would end up being part of my conscience thinking of how I proceeded in making decisions for myself.  In our adult years we tend to take less time to contemplate where we are at or where we want to go.  Therefore, it is imperative to be able to have something that can amass one's ideas in order to make adjustments to your life.  I don't think that one has to set out a goal to write a particular amount or have a number or words or sentences in mind.  The goal should be simply to write down things period and then see what may be harbored inside of yourself that needs to be set free.  Think about writing as therapy, except you don't have to pay anyone or be told that you only have a certain amount of time in your session.  Instead, you are in control of how much to put down and when to stop.  Give yourself the opportunity to let your thoughts be the guides that move in the direction you want the rest of your life to head towards .  After a few days or weeks, you will clearly see the words that come out of you will be communicating in language that only your mind and heart can understand.  Once those ideas are written down, then it is only a matter of time before they can begin to take shape into an existing transformation that can define the rest of your life.

What Can Gratitude Look Like In Heartbreaking Circumstances?

The other day I was hearing an interview with a mother who was speaking about the death of her teenage child, that occurred over ten years ago.  During the course of the conversation, she revealed that her child had been in an accident that was caused by a drunk driver.  Although it has taken years to be able to come to terms with this tragic loss, she managed to keep positive and upbeat during the course of the interview.  She sounded as if she was beaming when describing her daughter that lived for such a short period of time on this earth.  Through her recollection of countless memories that were made as a result of her child's presence while she was alive, there was a beautiful life that was described.  What followed towards the conclusion of the interview was that she would go to the place where the accident occurred once a month and place some fresh flowers in memory of her.  A man came upon her on one of those occasions to acknowledge the fact that he knew what had happened there many years ago.  At the conclusion of his conversation he also mentioned that he had been an alcoholic for many years and would drive down that same street where this accident took place.  The day he realized that it was due to a drunk driver, he decided it was time to stop drinking and had been sober ever since.  The mother was speechless and he proceeded to thank her for not letting her child be forgotten by placing those flowers at that fateful location.  He walked away from there and she described in beautiful fashion how this encounter had made her feel.  She realized in an instant that her daughter, although no longer living, was able to cause a person to change their life for the better.  For her, it became a defining moment of validation that her child's loss was not in vain.  She was even more grateful for the life that her daughter was able to live along with the contributions that she made and even upon her farewell.  I was mesmerized by this discussion as anyone would, because it was a wonderful description of what gratitude can look like in the face of heartbreaking circumstances.  The story of her daughter and this man who did not know any of them, while it concluded in a full circle moment for all, was breathtaking to say the least.  Although many of us may have instances of how were were able to stay positive despite a tough trial, it can be difficult to maintain that composure in the darkest of moments.  The next time you are faced with a low point where you may feel that the world is closing in on you, do your best to find something to be thankful for.  Even though it sounds counter intuitive, you will find that having the smallest amount of gratefulness will provide you with a sense of calm, that can sometimes be the thing that is needed to get you past your storm.

Risk And A Leap Of Faith Can Equal Success

When you think about the things that add value to your life, you may immediately gravitate towards your family or loved ones.  Most people believe that they are where they happen to be at today, because of the foundation that may have been created by a family unit that surrounded them at a young age.  People can easily point to their mother, father or perhaps a grandparent that were the key individuals that helped formulate who they were.  There were those key individuals that believed in you, or that instilled the confidence that was needed in order to be able to take a step forward, especially when you were apprehensive about the result afterwards.  Literally, I don't believe that anyone of us can remember when we took our first step, when we began to learn how to walk.  However, someone was right behind or in front of you, that fostered the momentum that was needed in order to take that step, which would then lead to many others that taught you how to walk.  There is always fear of the unknown when it comes to taking a life step that is out of the ordinary or goes against the familiar of your comfort zone.  As we get older, our ability to take risks can be somewhat limiting, due to the many things that run through our heads when we are weighing the pros or the cons to something.  Risk taking can have some very positive results when you think about the many entrepreneurs that have made their fortunes when no matter what anyone else said, they simply believed in themselves.  Then there are those instances when things did not work out as planned for some, after they took a particular risk.  Although the initial thinking would be that they failed at something, at the end of the day that person became more knowledgeable about a particular topic and could lend the voice of experience to another person pursuing a similar venture.  Risk can be calculated, if you determine that you are willing to live with the end result that would not be positive, you can usually put a percentage towards what you can live with and what would not be acceptable in making that decision.  Therefore, as an adult one is faced with choices that can have long term ramifications.  Whether it is regarding making changes to your health, finances or a personal relationship, the opportunity to do so can happen more often than you think.  A risk must sometimes be taken in order to achieve a desired outcome.  Consider the things that add value to your life and those that do not.  Remember that sometimes a leap of faith along with a calculated risk may be the right formula that is needed to define your desired success.

Hope; The Game Changer In Life

There are many instances when people decide that they are at the end of their rope.   Those moments when things seem so overwhelming that nothing makes adequate sense and the feeling of drowning in the deepest part of the water appears to be imminent.  Yet, somehow those instances seem vanish with a flash of hope that always seems to come out of nowhere.  Keeping hope alive is a natural tendency and one that I would venture to say can be a daily element that permeates throughout our existence.  Just think about the possibility of not having any type of hope to cling on to.  What would the days and nights living in that type of environment feel like?  My guess is that your life would not be filled at all, but rather appear to be empty and void of something that was missing.  In order to see hope alive in its fullest sense, I challenge you to walk to a children's hospital ward, in particular those that may be suffering a life threatening illness.  I have rarely seen a child that is in the midst of pain and complete unknown about the future of their health, to be anything but optimistic.  Perhaps it is age and at their young circumstance, it may be very difficult to picture what life would be like if they did not put up a fight against what is ailing them.  In a young child, you always see the glow of possibility that is present as deep down inside they know that better days should be ahead.  As adults, we tend to forget what that type of powerful desire and expectation feels like.  It is very easy for any of us to be caught up in any storm that would deplete us of the energy that can come with having a desire that the best is yet to come.  Many people get mired in their circumstance in which they are at and forget that others around them may be having so many other catastrophic things happening to them, that they would pale in comparison to the situation they happen to find themselves in.  The ability to persevere through a challenge does not always feel very good, especially in the midst of darkness.  Wisdom shows us that if you can survive something extraordinarily tough once, then you should be able to do it again.  Think about the many instances in which you came to the end of the street where you saw no exit and how you waited with faith to find a beacon of light to show you the way.  It always comes, granted it never seems to be early.  What I have learned is that the difficult period is filled with knowledge to teach one about how not to repeat that particular lesson.  For me, hope is like the blood that pumps through one's veins in that it feeds and nourishes all parts of your body while allowing for the possibility that things can be even better in the future.  The next time you find yourself painted into a corner, think about what the great Mexican painter Frida Kahlo's famous words were with regard to hope, "I paint flowers so they will not die".  Sometimes hope and imagination may be the only things you have left to count on.

How Do You Find Forgiveness in Gratitude?

This was a topic that was discussed in an article that I read today, which captivated my thoughts for the rest of the evening.  There are many individuals who had very tough beginnings to their lives and the memories that most people would have about their childhood, which would normally be filled with feelings of happiness can actually be non-existent for some.  For people that grew up in an abusive home or were the victims of abuse themselves, there are many painful memories that may be suppressed as a result of not wanting to feel anymore pain as an adult.  When you think about a young child, you typically have thoughts of a free spirit that looks at the world with wonder in their eyes and questions everything under the sun.  One usually has a sense of happiness when it comes to thinking about a child and it is rare that people find themselves feeling sorry for what a child may have undergone through no fault of their own.  There are many organizations that exist to assist the children that were brought up without their birth parents or were given up for adoption for a number of reasons.  As such, one would imagine that these adults who were not able to be fulfill their role as parents, were actually doing the child a great favor by letting them be raised by someone who really wanted them in their life.  The sad fact exists that not all of these children who were left for adoption made it to a loving family where their troubles ended when a yearning parent wanted to call them their son or daughter.  For children that are part of the foster system, there are many tough stories about the things that went wrong for these children, where they transitioned into adults with baggage that is so deep and heavy, that it can take many more years before they are comfortable in their own skin.  There are stories that can break your heart, when it comes to those who suffered needlessly or who fell through the cracks that our own communities may have turned a blind eye, not knowing what was happening near their back yard.  As a child one does not have the ability to see things as an adult would.  Therefore, it becomes extraordinarily important to realize as an adult that forgiveness can be found in having gratitude for the lessons that one may have learned, even though they were lessons that should not have been so hard for some.  The fact that one can stand up in their adult years and feel the ground underneath them while they can honestly say to themselves that they did survive, is something worth having gratitude for.  The people or the circumstances that created such bad feelings in the beginning of one's life, can be the catalyst for how one wants to change and live the rest of their life vastly different.  Never underestimate the power that forgiveness has, as one's own soul can feel the weight of the world lifted from their shoulders when acceptance and forgiveness can be made.  Think about the things that need forgiving in your life and make peace with the fact that you may have learned a tough lesson or one that bares never repeating.  In the end, your ability to walk past those things that should have less importance in your life, versus those that need to take center stage will usually outnumber the negative.  Hold your head up high and be thankful that today you are able to own the life that you have, while you make plans for a wonderful ending that will far outweigh any poor beginning you may have had.