The Crooked Path

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

“The Crooked Path”

By

Rob Claudio

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to someone whose wisdom I admire in every sense and has lived a much longer life than I.  During our discussion he was explaining his view about his life, as it has taken some interesting twists and turns in order to get to where he is at today.  First, he reminded me about having great intentions to do your own will and how those well intended plans can sometimes surprise us as they unravel before our eyes.  He gave me a great personal quote that will stay with me forever when he stated, "God writes with a crooked hand".  I knew exactly what he was saying and it made me laugh and smile at the thought of how the meaning behind those words related to my own life.  Many of us make great plans for our lives and then the reality of what actually happens as we go about our personal journey can change, impacting our destination of where we were headed.  It is even more interesting when you think about the people that have shown up in our lives and how they contributed to our growth, outlook or served as an example of what we don’t want to be like.  There is a lesson in everything that crosses our path, if you are paying close enough attention.  When I came home that night I ended catching a rerun of one of my favorite films, "The Matrix".  As I quickly immersed myself in the story of Neo and him finding out if he was the person that everyone had been waiting for, I received a separate reminder about my earlier discussion.  There is a part in the film when the main character Neo goes to see a lady known as the Oracle.  She is supposed to be all knowing and capable of identifying this person who is supposed to be their savior of sorts.  She basically tells him he is not the one, but he has to keep this information to himself as his peers don't want to know what was said to him.  Neo’s inner circle of peers simply believe that he is the one.  As a result, his immediate confusion is met with his own self-doubt and yet he ends up living up to his peer's expectations.  His crooked path was impacted by someone telling him they did not believe in him and through the power of believing in other people's expectations, he ends up surpassing his own. In my own personal journey what I have also learned is that you have to have fun and enjoy the crookedness of the path that you happen to be on, as it continues to materialize before your eyes.  The things that I have experienced and the people that made an impact in my life are as varied as the ingredients of a complex dish that takes hours to perfect.  Whether it is a splash of this or a sprinkle of that, we are constantly updating our own recipe for life.  Also, my appreciation continues for how different everything can be as quickly as the next day arrives.  Finally, I also learned to embrace how this celestial hand continues to write out a story for me with continued twists and turns, that like a good book, I want to keep reading to see what happens next.  Life would be a bit boring if things remained the same as always and one would never be able to appreciate the beauty that was created by the uneven and crooked journey.  My advice to you is to embrace and enjoy all of the things that are part of your wonderful path.  Although not all pieces of it may be pleasant, learn from it all.  In the end, you will most likely get the opportunity to share your personal words of wisdom with someone who will cross your path one day.   Your story can be another example for someone to realize that their apprehension about life is a common dilemma and there are people that will help you navigate it, if you are paying attention and willing to listen to them.   

“Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.“

-Henry David Thoreau

Your Self Worth

I saw a great reminder today when I was looking at motivational signs and one in particular caught my attention.  It read, "Your value doesn't decrease based upon someone's inability to see your worth".  I absolutely loved this, because it prompted me to think about the times through out my life where someone underestimated me about one thing or another and I was able to rise to the occasion of not only exceeding my expectations but theirs too.  There are many times when we are faced with these challenges and it is not always the case that one gets the opportunity to redeem themselves.  Therefore, when their is an instance when one can achieve this, it makes the climb up a tough mountain that much more sweeter.  More importantly in the message, was to also take note that just because somebody does not see what you believe your talents and strengths are, to not take it personally.  Our personal self worth, is such a valuable commodity that we cannot afford to lose any ounce of it, as we have to wade through the seas of instances when we are challenged by the non-believers in us.  There are detractors and others who may feel superior to you, just because of a personality clash that you will never be able to fix.  This is were we get caught up sometimes, in trying to figure things out, so that someone will like you, despite what it can take to arrive at that desired outcome.  We must be mindful that we are not always going to be somebody else's cup of tea and when that occurs, do not waste a lot of your time in figuring out the right solution to a problem that may not have any remedy.  It is in our nature to want to be liked by others, however, as I have grown older, my focus has shifted towards being respected versus liked.  You see, like can be very subjective based upon the person making the assessment and there are any number of things that can change a person's viewpoint to be able to agree or disagree with you, just on the basis of their biases.  Rather than spending time on changing that circumstance, focus on what it is that you bring to this world, by your measures of talents, gifts and abilities which you could share.  Think about the amount of time that we all have on this earth and how quickly it goes by.  For some who do not get to live a long life, we have them as vivid examples of why the need to focus on the things that truly matter.  Therefore, do not worry about those that want to detract you when they focus on something negative about you, instead turn your head and face towards those that do want to be part of your existence as you add value to them, just as much as they do to you.