When was the last time you went out of your way to do something nice for someone else?  We get so much back when we do for others, yet we tend to not gravitate towards this behavior on a recurring basis.  This universal law has been in effect for a very long time and it is good to be reminded at times about how we can make a big difference in other people's lives.  The holiday season is usually when a lot of us think about giving more of ourselves.  I think we should challenge each other in trying to do more for others through out the year, in addition to those special seasons.  There are many worthy causes in any community and people of all walks of life can benefit from your time, resources or generosity.  If you have an opportunity, do this and don't seek attention from anyone else other than engaging in it with a pure heart.  You will feel amazing afterwards and the best part is that this feeling lasts a lot longer than you think.  I have seen chain emails asking people to send an email to 10 people or more in order to receive a breakthrough.  I believe that we are more powerful than believing in a chain of communication and we can actually be the miracle others are wishing for around us.

When I was young and in school I remember thinking that the school day and the school year lasted way too long.  I would daydream about being older and no longer having to meet school deadlines. I think we all had those thoughts about completing school and not having to study, while realizing the freedom to do as you pleased.  When I look at my life now, I always seem to be learning something new and realize that learning is part of the evolution of my life.  It has become second nature to inform myself of new philosophies, technology or things that help me become more efficient.  When I talk to people that have retired, I am always amazed to see how busy they seem to be and have very little down time.  For the most part, they are engaged in activities that allow them to continue to learn new things.  I am resolved to know that the learning process will continue and that wisdom continues to be the result of this work.  Knowledge is power and our minds need to be nourished in order to achieve higher results.  Remember to always keep learning, keep reading and keep your mind toned with an active regimen.  This could be one of the keys to keeping ourselves young at heart for as long as we live.

One of the definitions of perseverance I found in a dictionary stated, "continuance in a state of grace leading finally to a state of glory". I am a fan of this word and what it stands for, as tells me that you march forward with grace and look forward to achieving a desired result. The result may not come when you want it and not getting it right away usually teaches us other important things. The world is obsessed with speed and information through improved technology and communication is now instant. However, we face things that we want to achieve through perseverance and a byproduct of this is being patient. For some people, things come very quickly and it always amazes me how someone can spend little or no time in looking for a desired result before they achieve it. I on the other hand, have had my share of opportunities when my road was anything but easy. I stopped asking the universe a long time ago as to why and decided on focusing on what the lesson was and how to share what I had gone through. The result has been fulfilling, in that I now understand that my journey through some things taught me a lot more about myself and the purpose of those trials. Be resolved to persevere no matter what and continue to do so with grace, for the glory will come as a result of your diligent actions.

Today we remember the many men and women who served our country and selflessly put others first in order to protect our freedom.  Our country has a long history of many brave people who felt that in order to achieve freedom that they were willing to sacrifice everything for what they believed.  We have many examples across the world, where they do not value the things that we do and many people lose their lives because of oppression and lack of freedom.  It is important for us to realize that freedom comes at a price.  Sometimes that cost is far beyond what we contemplate paying for.  The value of a human life is priceless, yet our ancestors believed in a dream and that we should be part of their legacy as a result of their selfless acts.  This day honors the brave of our country and I pray for those that we have lost and the safe return home of those that continue to fight for our freedom in various parts of the world.  We are eternally indebted to our true hero's that served and sacrificed far beyond what anyone expected them to.

    

As we near the end of Spring, I was thinking to myself about some of the annual rituals that come with this season as we prepare for Summer.  The rains came and cleaned the grounds around us and brought us new flowers, trees and plants.  The newly hatched birds chirp loudly and let us know they have arrived as well.  Before we head to the next season, I would suggest we all do some spring cleaning before we get there.  In addition to the traditional removal of clutter, I think it would also do some good to get rid of old habits and non productive relationships.  If you set goals previously and did not reach all of them, then re-set those priorities and don't feel bad about not completing them.  Reaching goals is a process and if you did not reach them through your previous path, then choose a new one.  I know we can all get there, it is just a matter of re-prioritizing.  Don't let the season change without you doing some changing along with it.  If nature is any indication of how this works, your life will be in full bloom when the next rains come your way.  

Do you ever talk to people that leave you feeling like you are completely drained afterwards?  Perhaps you have some of those in your life that only speak to you when they need a favor.  As you proceed in your life's journey at some point there comes a time when you have to set some boundaries with respect to those individuals.  You want to have an inner circle of people that support you and continue to add value to you.  Some people are also better than others at saying the word no.  Saying no does not mean you have to justify why you say it, you just do.  I believe that we get hung up sometimes on justifying saying the word no.  Saying no does not have to be done with a harsh tone or disrespectful in any way.  You just need to begin to use it more often and begin to shorten the conversations among those that leave you feeling drained.  Don't worry about what people would say or think about you if you said no to them.  A famous person once said, "What other people think about me is none of my business".  People who want to say things behind your back will and you have no business worrying about them, as there are other more important things to care about in life.  

Today I am revisiting a previously published column.             

Inventing Your Life

“Purpose”

By

Rob Claudio

There have been many books written to discuss the reason one must be on this earth.  I know I have read a few that were quite inspiring to me and that made me think a little deeper about defining what my purpose was.  It is an interesting review, when you think about your life’s accomplishments and what still remains to be seen. Since the future is vast and unknown to us, I maintain that living by doing what’s right in the “right now” time frame, may be the best platform for us to proceed.  In prior years I did some training on “Excellence” and it's meaning to my life. The shortest version of it, meant doing the right things for the right reasons.  One example that I always spoke about is the mere effort of returning a shopping cart to the shopping cart section at a store.  Living an excellent life begins with doing small excellent things on a daily basis. I was once at a Target store and it was raining, I was walking around my truck and putting things in the back seat while holding an umbrella.  After I was done, I was so tempted to leave the cart there and just take off. I figured nobody is watching me. However, being that I taught and spoke about this in my training sessions, I knew I had to walk that cart to its designated spot in rain and puddles.  A lady saw me as she was getting into her car by the cart section and told me, “I have never seen anyone do this, especially in this type of weather.”  I smiled and simply responded, “I have to, I teach about it,” and I walked back in more rain and stepped in more puddles.  I thought to myself as I drove off and laughed, that lady must have thought how weird to run into someone who teaches about shopping carts.  Interestingly, when you do the right things for the right reasons, you will find that it is hard to go back and regress to not doing things the right way.  I think our inner-self realizes that we can live a much more peaceful existence and sleep well at night knowing that we have done the right things.  There are lots of examples of where to begin this process if you have not already done so.  Allowing people to merge on the freeway; opening the door for someone who is having difficulty doing so; thanking people for an act of kindness while looking into their eyes, or perhaps giving of yourself or your talent to a worthy cause.  The possibilities are endless; the rewards are great.  You get to choose every day how to proceed with the rest of your life, I hope you choose wisely.       

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like”

– Will Rogers

There are many things in our lives that we have no control over. It is frustrating to us because it means that we cannot have a direct or immediate impact on the outcome.  Since the beginning of time, people have had to deal with illness, misfortune and natural disasters that they could not control.  I think we spend a lot of time thinking about how to solve certain things that we sometimes have to let go and let the natural order occur.  We can control our attitude, outlook or disposition, that creates the environment for how we wish to live, as a result.  There are plenty of things to worry about, however, try not to think about them so much that it becomes where your mind resides.  Allow yourself to acknowledge that something exists and then have faith that the outcome will have taught you a valuable lesson and that you can teach others what you have learned.

Avoiding the three C's, was a term I learned a long time ago that still makes quite a bit of sense to this day.  A training I attended many years ago asked us to avoid criticizing, condemning and complaining.  All three of these C's are usually associated with a downward spiral conversation.  That is the type of conversation that does not forward the action and instead enables people to regress or stay in the same place.  It is not hard to talk to people and recognize a downward spiral conversation, as they will usually be providing you with an example of one of the C's as they proceed.  You can disagree with someone or provide your own point of view on a situation, without going into the downward spiral.  I tested how much this happens many years ago, when I went into a break area at work and said nothing.  I had a book with me and was reading it and simply listened to those around me.  Most of the people around managed to hit on one of the C's during the course of their conversation.  It wasn't until I realized that I could have easily been a contributor to such a conversation, that I made a decision to begin filtering these out and not participating in them.  I figured if I wasn't part of the active audience, then it was harder for the downward spiral to continue.  It takes time, however, you can learn new habits and allowing yourself to add this to your list of attributes will make for more peaceful and productive days ahead.

One of my favorite authors and speakers is Dr. John Maxwell.  He wrote a book titled, "Becoming A Person Of Influence".  This work has many relevant topics for me and one of my favorite's that he discusses is how most people will do anything to live up to your faith in them.  Our parents, teachers or coaches have all played a part in us wanting to do more and achieve what their expectations were.  As we grow older I believe that this lesson is weighted even more by what our parents taught us and how their hopes and dreams in us, made such an influence.  When we were in elementary school we were asked by our teachers what we wanted to be when we grew up.  I remember thinking of this powerful question and somehow felt that I needed to make a concerted effort in providing an answer that was acceptable by my teacher as well as myself.  Do we still ask children this very important question?  I hope so, as the question lends itself to dreaming and that is where we begin our journey to achievements in life.  Whether we achieve the childhood dream or not, is as important as having the opportunity to dream it .  Remember that someone else can dream a bigger dream for you and their influence will usually make you want to attempt to surpass their expectations.  Keep dreaming and keep asking the children around you to do the same.

What makes you laugh out loud?  Sometimes we need to release energy by channeling this through laughter.  Think about the end of the day, week, month; what was the funniest thing you heard or remember?  These moments I find to be just as important in my daily rejuvenation process.  Whether it was a funny video, joke or a funny picture, I keep them all in my reserves.  For those moments that are not as filled with humor and I feel I need a good dose of it, I think back to what I have archived.  Interestingly, if you choose to make a point of seeking this, you will receive more and more as a result. Call it the law of the universe if you like, it does work.  Humor and laughter brings balance to a world that sometimes is less filled with it. Remember to not just write the term LOL, live it and get plenty of it, as it is good for your soul.  

Today I am sharing my latest column that will be published next month.  

Inventing Your Life

“Adjust Your Outlook”

By

Rob Claudio

Attitude can make a big difference in how we live life.  I learned from an old friend a long time ago that how you age is up to you.  Just because you are older in years does not mean that your heart cannot stay young and perspective can be everything.  I remember when I was young a close friend of my family battled cancer for several years.  The difference between the husband who had the illness and his wife was completely the opposite.  The wife appeared to have anger and resentment about their situation and focused on the things that were not right.  The husband on the other hand, took all the phases of the illness in stride.  He had talked to us at the beginning of his diagnosis and how he came to terms that he could not do anything about his genetic disposition. His approach was more of a matter of everyday life, versus questioning the universe as to why he had to deal with this situation.  We would go and visit with him in the hospital when his health weakened and he would make us laugh about stories when he was younger, while his wife stepped out of the room.  Instead of us cheering him up, he ended up making us feel better.  Although you could visibly see him looking weaker, his attitude and outlook overshadowed his situation. He became a great example of how one could face such adversity.  Being faced with an illness is sometimes not preventable, however, how you face the world as a result, is your call.   Could your children, close family or friends benefit from you making an outlook change?  That is a question that you will have to answer for yourself.  Making an outlook adjustment can add more value to your own life, as you devote your focus to the things that truly matter most.  The media all around us appears to focus and revolve around what is wrong.  Yet every day I see and hear stories of how someone did something good.  Sometimes it takes work to find this balance, however, after many years of practice it gets easier to attract it into your life.  Remember that you are not defined by your circumstances, instead it is your accomplishments that are your true legacy.              

      “In the hopes of reaching the moon, men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet”.
-Albert Schweitzer

Today I am exploring Lou Holtz' final rule for life. Rule #3 - Show people you care.  This can take any shape or form, from the most simple to the more complex.  Active listening is one of the most sincere forms to show people that you really are there for them.  A lot of times we either have friends or family that want to speak to us about a particular situation or issue.  They usually have the answer to their own question, however, we are enlisted to be that sounding board for them in that moment.  Not interrupting with our opinion or providing our strategy for how to solve their issue, simply listening.  Therapists and counselors are great at this as they usually repeat, exactly what you said and they usually start by using words like, "What I heard you say was".   A caring manager or supervisor also uses the same technique with their subordinates, in order to clarify an issue or  to validate a concern.  You can write a note, cook someone their favorite food, look at people in the eye when you are talking to them, to name a few suggestions.  Remember that it does not have to cost anything to show people that you care and speak from your heart as it will exemplify this attribute even more.  

Today I continue my observations on Lou Holtz'  and his rules for life. Rule #2 - Do everything to the best of your ability with the time allotted. Lou says: "Not everybody will be an All-American. Not everybody will be first team. Not everybody will be great. But everybody can do the best they can with the time allotted."  I believe that everyone can be their own version of an All-American.  Because our talents are varied and the gifts that we all possess are unique, it becomes one of our life missions to seek what these are.  We have heard from many authors and people who are subject matter experts, on how to pay attention to when you make the connection to your personal gifts.  My own discovery in this realm, has been to allow myself to do more of what makes me feel joyful and is followed by fulfillment.  If you are happiest when doing what would appear to be a task and it does not feel like work to you, then it is a gift that you should nurture.  Also, don't brush off a compliment by someone, it usually means they are validating one of your talents.  We all have these moments when you do something and it is second nature to you. Whether it is; cooking, writing, leading, gardening, teaching, planning, to name a few.  Tap into your source and give your personal attributes the respect they deserve.  Remember to use your talents for good with the remaining years of your life, it is a key to realizing your true purpose.        

The great football coach Lou Holtz, who is now a world renowned speaker and has three simple rules of life that he speaks about. Today I am going to focus on his first rule and I will dedicate the next two days of the blog on the remainder. Rule #1 - Do right. "Just do the right thing," Lou says. "We've all done dumb things and wish we hadn't done them, but you can't go through life with an albatross around your neck saying, 'I made a mistake.' Say you're sorry, make amends and move on."  Two simple and powerful words with much depth and meaning.  We have heard this from our parents to our grandparents as they raised us and taught us about right vs. wrong.  The lessons came to us in many shapes and sizes, yet, we sometimes struggle with doing what is right in our heart vs. what you think is right in your mind.  Our lives could be filled with less complications if we just paid attention to this first rule and did not deviate.  Self forgiveness for making errors would come a lot easier if we spent less time focusing on what you did wrong.  The key is that  you did do somethings right and as a result you will be better in the end when you take inventory of your life choices.  We will not always get things right, however, if we start by doing right, our achievements will far outnumber our shortcomings.  

I usually try to take the day off from writing on Sundays, however, today is special because it is the day that celebrates the great CEO's of our families, our mothers.  They gave us life and loved us before we born.  They nurtured us through childhood and kept us from harms way.  Through all of the ups and downs that we had as children and through adulthood, they were in the background beaming with pride and never expected anything in return.  Some of us grew up without a mom and had another person assume this role.  The meaning of being a mother goes beyond the traditional one's that we all know.  There were also those that did not give life to us, yet, they chose us through adoption and the bond between us is just as strong as those that became families the traditional way.  Mother's started out not knowing everything about raising a child, however, they assumed their role with undeniable passion and love.  A mother lives inside our hearts until it stops beating.  Our mothers were the first to teach us what love feels like and it is because of this great lesson that we are forever grateful to them.  To all of our mother's living or in Heaven, we honor your work on this Earth today.    

I read a quote once that said, "Don't give up on someone's hopes and dreams, it can be all that they have left".  This was such a powerful statement to me.  Our hopes and dreams are the catalyst for what we want to achieve for ourselves or for our loved ones.  We also carry these with us from generation to generation.  If you think back at where our ancestors came from, almost all of them came from a different country.  We are the great melting pot as a result and because of our great diversity, we are an even greater country for it.  Those ancestors took a risk in leaving what they knew behind and took their hopes and dreams with them on a great journey to this country we call America.  I believe that you have to have a vision for your dreams in order for them to become reality.  What will it look like or feel like when you have made a dream come true.  People make vision boards with all of the things that they want to see in their lives and I think that is also a powerful tool.  It all begins with a thought, a dream or a desire that speaks to your heart & soul. For our ancestors it may have come out of necessity for their circumstance, however, they never looked back. Remember the legacy of your forefathers living inside of you and don't give up on your hopes and dreams or those of anyone that you know.  Anything is possible!

I read a line in a motivational training video that simply states, "Don't Postpone Joy".  Busy schedules, work, carpools, school functions and the like can sometimes lead us to do this.  Remember to take in a moment that brings you happiness and joy when it occurs and make it last as long as possible.  Our inventory of these types of moments seem to run very limited at times and we need to do a better job of allowing ourselves to appreciate them when they occur.  Sharing those moments with your inner circle can also help, in that they can remind you to look forward for the better days ahead.  We take pictures of children when they are babies and through out their lifetime.  When we get to view them again as time has passed they usually bring a smile to our face, as we recall the joy that existed in that moment of that photograph. Practice that ability to retain, live and experience your own daily joy as often as you can.

In the book, "The Art of Possibility" by Ben Zander, a chapter is devoted to speaking about the voice in the head.  That voice is the one that sometimes whispers to you and says you may not be good enough.  This voice can also wane your confidence by allowing you to think that you are just a little less than or it can emphasize what your shortcomings in life have been.  Some people grew up with a parent that used their power and authority to make you feel unworthy or perhaps that you would grow up just like your father, brother, etc.  Comparisons, but not in a good way.  That voice can have a lifelong effect and learning to quiet that sooner versus later is essential to your own well being.  Do not allow it to overcome your daily thoughts and beliefs.  To be clear, the voice in the head is not your conscience or when you feel your heart speaking to you.  Those are usually right on the mark.  We can be our own worst enemies, as there is no need for someone to point out something about us that needs work.  We usually have a long list ready to go.  It is key, that you begin to eliminate that negative voice that allows you to question whether or not you are worthy.  The fact is you are worthy and deserve so much more.  Keep the voice quiet and work on getting rid of it for good.  You will do yourself a lifelong favor.

Intent can be defined as resolved or determined to do something.  Your intentions can speak volumes of who you are as a person and what values you may possess.  Being specific about your decisions in life will bring about the cause of your intentions.  I have found that one must approach what they intend to do with as much thought as with their final actions.  This can define or redefine who you are or what you would like to become.  Making courageous decisions have deep intention behind them.  The outcome is achieving something you have expected for some time, however, it may take time to arrive at the state of being resolved, that will lead you towards your destination.  

Today I am revisiting a previously published column on creativity.

Inventing Your Life

“Personal Creativity”

By

Rob Claudio

I recently read an article from one of my favorite authors and speakers, Dr. John C. Maxwell, regarding creativity.  He started off with an eye catching title, which stated “It takes a lot of creativity to deal with reality!”.  This made me think and say to myself, how true!  As we begin a new year and we look forward to prosperous personal and professional growth, it reminds me that it takes quite a bit of personal tools to help achieve the many goals and various challenges that lie ahead.  The interesting thing about creativity, is how many people may not associate themselves as having this particular attribute.  I think most people associate creativity with people that are artistic in nature.  What we have to remember is that a lot of our everyday problem solving has a lot of creativity in it.  I know that I don’t have all the answers to everything, yet, when presented with a particular challenge or issue, if the answer does not come to mind right away, I look for a creative approach to solve it.  Don’t you find it amazing what can be accomplished when you are backed up against the wall?  How many times have you come through a particular challenging time and look back afterwards, wondering how did I do that?  Dr. Maxwell, states “Creativity is the joy of not knowing it all”.  The joy of not knowing it all refers to the realization that we seldom if ever have all the answers.  We always have the ability to generate more solutions to just about any problem.  Being creative is being able to see or imagine a great deal of opportunity to life’s problems.  

I do believe that in many instances, when you are faced with a particular issue, that allowing yourself some time to contemplate it, before you come up with a decision can get your creative juices flowing.  For me, creativity was born out of necessity at times.  I can recall many years ago when I attended training on “Excellence”, which I later did on my own.  The reason I even stepped into the role of trainer, was that we did not have enough budget to send more than two people to this training.  I knew my staff would benefit greatly, however, I had to figure out a way to share the information with all of them.  Hence, I took on the role of a trainer and decided to deliver the message with my own customization.  It was an opportunity that led me to a continued great passion of mine in finding training that motivates people both at work and beyond.

I firmly believe that when problems arise, possibilities and opportunities come with them.  As you strive towards achieving your goals this year, remember to exercise your creativity.  Also, give yourself more credit for having this ability.  You don’t have to be an artist, designer, singer or musician to be included among those with this talent.     My best wishes to all of you for those challenges you may have had last year and hope that they become the catalyst for the new and improved opportunities that await you in this New Year!

“Creativity is to see what everybody else has seen and to think what nobody else has thought”.  –Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Creating change in your life can begin by making a contribution. Some people have the idea that they want to make a change, yet, they don't know where to begin.  I found out personally a long time ago that sometimes the catalyst to changing is through doing something for someone else.  Everyone has their own talents and unique gifts and the ability to share those with others allows for personal growth.  The great residual of helping others is that you get so much satisfaction and conversely it begins to change who you are.  It also changes those people around you because you are no longer the same person that you used to be.  Sometimes that change is difficult for people who know you to accept, however, your true friends and close family will be your biggest supporters because they love and accept you unconditionally.  Remember that change and contribution can be a great fit, you just have to take that first step and look forward to the possibilities that you create as a result.

Junior Seau, was a great athlete and achieved so much in his sport through out his career.  It is always incomprehensible how someone can take their own life, when we think they have so much going for them.  The difficulty is that we as fans forget that these gifted people that we so admire are complex human beings, just like us.  The life of someone with fame, celebrity or wealth, can add additional complications to the already complex formula of being human.  Although we admire so many people like this, we never know how much pain they may be in when they are not in the public eye. Experiencing loss is such an intense emotion that it takes so much time for one to be able see the light at the end of that dark tunnel.  Through out the  years we have lost many gifted and talented individuals far too soon.  The losses magnify when we add our own personal hero's and shero's that meant so much in our own lives.  Let us not forget the talent and gifts that all of these people brought into our world as we continue to celebrate their many achievements and the value they added to us.  May this also remind us about how we need to continue to do the right things for the right reasons and help others that may need us to lend them our own personal talents and gifts.  Junior to you I say, your life was a great season and "tofa soifua", which means goodbye in Samoan.

The term falling forward has been used over the years to define that falling does not mean failure.  Nobody is perfect, therefore it is not if we fall, but when we fall that is the defining moment.  Falling gives us a new perspective and can mean that you need some moments to dust yourself off and get up while before resuming your path.  In a column that I wrote a few years ago, I wrote about the physical act of falling on the ground and learning to look at the view from where you were at.  You might have missed that there was life happening at the ground level.  Grass was growing, you can see the road up ahead and perhaps a bee buzzed by you on its way to helping something grow.  If you were walking forward and never experienced that different perspective, you may never have had an opportunity to appreciate it.  Therefore, the next time you feel you have fallen in life and you feel knocked out, take in the view from where you are at.  There will always be something that you can hold onto that can change your view of where you are at, before you dust yourself off resume your journey.

Use your word wisely.  This term as simple as it sounds has a very profound impact.  Depending on how you use words, they can lend themselves to creating harmony & peace.  If you use them to hurt someone they can have an effect that can last a lifetime.  Words can be more powerful than a weapon, which means that we have to give them more respect as we use them to communicate with those around us.  Learning to use your word wisely can sometimes mean that you do not respond immediately.  It may mean that you must think before you speak in order to avoid any unintended consequences.  These days we are not only communicating in person, over a phone, but now we use email and other forms of social media.  We live in a world with instantaneous communication channels. As easy as it seems to hit reply or send to a message, remember that your word (s) speaks volumes beyond the sentence that you just wrote.  Take the time to speak that which is true, only necessary and kind.  This formula will likely pay large dividends for you in the future.