Happiness Does Not Always Follow Success

I began reading a book that speaks to the topic of happiness as an advantage in one's life and although I plan to write more in detail about my perspective once I finish the book, I was immediately drawn to one topic statement on the first page.  It spoke very candidly about the fact that people's perception that happiness follows the achievement of success is a broken formula.  I was in complete agreement with the author in that just because you may have achieved a goal that is deemed successful, many times one sets other goals beyond that which pushes the happiness bar further out.  Think about your first major life goals that you may have had for yourself.  When you saved enough to buy your first car, when you took your first real vacation or the pinnacle of most people's goals is when you were able to buy your first home.  Although a lot of sacrifice may have come with the achievement of these goals, the fact that upon getting them may have only been a precursor to something else that you wanted could have made the feeling of attainment only temporary.  What happens to most people is that they get to their milestone goal and then once they are there, they realize that what they actually wanted was something more.  A house once you get one, always comes with other things that are needed.  Perhaps it is a newer kitchen, bathroom, paint or appliances.  If you were happy that you bought the house it may only take a while for you to realize that your joy was somewhat short lived, as you now aspire to that higher level of joy that comes with the proposed added changes.  This is why it is important to realize that happiness should actually be a state of mind that you are in with more consistency and that everything else that follows afterwards will only augment your state.  Can you imagine what your life would be like if your state of happiness and joy were constant and when additional good things happened in your life, it only expanded your level of harmony?   This is why ideally our goal should be to accept where we are now and to realize that if you have reasonable good health, a loving family and friends along with a place that you can call home, your state of being should be quite positive already.  If you can begin each morning by counting those blessings and add others to them, then you should be well on your way to attaining the state of joy that you may be longing for.  Don't think that the next thing that is on your list or that future goal that you have been working towards will automatically bring you to that euphoric state of joy.  Instead, make up your mind that your happiness begins with those blessings that you can count on in the morning or at the end of each day.  To refer to another famous analogy, change your mindset and begin to live your life as if you already obtained the desired cake in life and what happens afterwards from this point forward is all simply more icing on that cake!

Allowing Pain To Heal Others

There was a recent interview with the Pastor and renowned author Rick Warren and his wife, where they candidly spoke about the loss of their son recently.  The circumstances surrounding this painful loss had to do with suicide and as difficult as that subject matter is, they proceeded to discuss their lifelong battle associated with their son's depression.  In the midst of such a tragic occurrence they saw an opportunity to be able help other people.  I found their interview to be not only poignant, it was also filled with a purpose to educate and teach others about mental health illness.  Although the pain of having survived something tragic can last a lifetime, each day that one is able to get through after that brings with it much hope and potential.  As with most difficulties, time can be the best ally, as it provides you with some distance that can allow one to look at things with a different perspective or view.  Think about the many things that you have survived through out your own life.  Although happy and joyful times can be what you would like to remember most about what has transpired to date, for many there are periods that can be tragic or filled with despair that may have taken years of healing to overcome.  If you happen to find yourself in a period that would be considered a trial by most, think about the potential that can occur when you allow your own moments of pain that can somehow be turned around to aid others.  Your empathy, sympathy and ability to help others in their most challenging moments, can become the catalyst for you to be able to release some of your own pain that can be used for good.  The lasting effects of an enduring situation in your life has the potential to continue to heal yourself along with others.  Allow yourself the opportunity to be the solution to someone else's problem.  What you will achieve in return will bring you more peace of mind along with knowing that from every dark cloud there is always the possibility of a silver lining.

Refocus

Inventing Your Life

“Refocus”

By

Rob Claudio

As the summer season winds down giving us the last blast of warm and tumultuous weather that comes with this period of the year, I always feel that this time allows for an assessment of sorts before we proceed with Mother Nature’s next cycle.  This is a great opportunity to take inventory of what has been accomplished thus far in one’s life and also take some moments to celebrate some of those achievements.  For most of us, we get consumed with the next project, phase, or task that is dictated by our daily schedule.  If you have children, your world can be consumed with fulfilling their obligations and the moments of personal sacrifice seem to be commonplace.  We tend to be very good about meeting other people’s expectations, however, where we can fall short many times is when we have to contend with our own.  If you made a goal of having a healthier lifestyle and then you routinely fail to meet the parameters of what that means, you might be putting yourself well below the acceptable level of priority.  Perhaps the importance in your life has to do with having financial freedom and in order to achieve this, you have to make those daily sacrifices to be able to obtain this goal.  If your spending is still not under control or you are not paying attention to the details of your household budget, then you may still be falling short of your own expectations.  The topics of significance are many and all of us at any given time may fall short on any account.  The key that we must never forget is that we always have the ability to turn things around.  Give yourself the opportunity to reflect, meditate or focus in relative calm and quiet periods about what has transpired to date.  Do not mourn or make excuses for why things have not gone your way.  Make a decision to accept where you find yourself today and put together your plan for how you will map yourself out of this place if you are dissatisfied with your own results. Think about the many explorers, inventors and artists for instance, that were not successful in many of their first or second ventures.  For many it took repeated re-tooling and re-assessment before they achieved success. The human experience can be a complicated and winding road at times, however, we must not lose faith that all of our experiences have taught us lessons that will help us achieve greater things in the future.   If you are a person that lives for the summer season, then be grateful that you were able to live long enough to get to another one this year. Include in your gratitude the many things that have gone your way since last year.  As you think about where you want to be by the next time summer arrives, keep in mind the things that you want to see achieved by then and let the sails of your ship open up to take you towards that desired destination.

   

“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress and grows brave by reflection.” –Thomas Paine

Why You Should Never Take Anything Personally

I am touching back on the book written by Don Miguel Ruiz, "The Four Agreements", because I wanted to ensure that I spent some time reflecting on one other of his key principles.  Never Take Anything Personally, is also one of the four agreements and I find this one to be particularly freeing.  If you can get that what people say about you is more about them, versus about you, you will be miles ahead of the game of life. We can all recall to any period in our life when someone said something to us that was not very positive and as a result we may have had a negative reaction to it.  As a child if you were scolded for doing something that you were not supposed to, then you knew by either the tone or the words that were used to address you, that your actions or behavior may have been inappropriate.  I used to be very observant of parental behavior towards their children in public places.  During my moments of observation I found that in many instances parents were doing a lot more damage by the use and the choice of their words towards their children.  A child's biggest influence is usually their parents and when a parent begins to reinforce negative thoughts onto a child, the consequences can last a lifetime.  Therefore when we know better as adults we can do better and we can be more cognizant of the fact that we should never take anything personally.  The realization of knowing that what other people say about you, has nothing to do with who you really are, can lift so much pressure from anyone. What I have found is that people will put upon you things that they have issues with themselves.  What other people think about you, should be none of your business period.  Do your best to let those opinions that are less than flattering about you stay with those individuals that perpetuated this to begin with.  Understand that feelings of inferiority or other fears lie within another individual and not yourself.  Do your best to keep your head held high and stay true to what you know deeply about your own self.  Let other people's rhetoric stay with them and do not give importance to things that should not matter to you.  When you realize at the end of the day that what truly matters is what you think and say about your own self, that is when you can turn the corner on this issue.  Remember to always keep moving forward and never look back at what misstep you may have made in the past.  After all, all of those steps are what got you to where you are now in the first place.

Whispers From The Soul

I went for swim in the pool earlier today to cool off from the end of summer heat that seems to be making its presence known.  Initially I swam around for a bit and then I landed at one end of the pool where the gentle warm breeze swept over me as the rustling of the trees overhead  seemed to dance among this harmony.  I had thoughts that were running inside my head at first about what I need to get done before I go back to work after being off for a few days, however, as I dipped my head below the water for a moment and everything simply became quiet.  I could only hear the breeze flowing among the rustling leaves and as I came back up and saw a two small hawks riding the unstable air currents above me.  I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to continue to meditate and closed my eyes as I just floated there taking everything in.  I began with being appreciative of the fact that I have the luxury of not going to work for a few days and recognized that not everyone has that opportunity.  Aside from feeling grateful, I also tried to listen to what else came from deep inside of me that I needed to pay attention to.  I call this the whispers from the soul moments that we all get, however, many times we are bit too busy to keep calm and just listen.  All of us have the power to solve most of our own problems, with some exceptions.  Ideally, if we paid more attention to the right things that our own soul is trying to convey to us, more than likely we would be moving in the direction that brings us most peace and harmony.  I know that everyone struggles with listening to that inner voice that tries to help us handle most situations. What I find happens is that if the information that is not to our own liking, we tend to ignore it for some time.  However, if you find yourself getting that same message in the most quiet periods of your day or evening, then you would do well to pay it more attention.  In order to live a more conscience life that is well balanced, we have to do our best to provide that platform in order for us to be able to have lift off.  Pay attention to the whispers that are trying to guide you and give yourself the opportunity to grow in the right direction.