I was watching a hawk soaring in circles this morning as it gracefully seemed to dance in the wind above me.  If it were on a skating rink it would have appeared to be making figure eights over and over again.  As I looked on, I also noticed how it met the wind currents with such elegance and finesse.   It made me contemplate how in life we confront our own strong currents of wind that come at us in the form of challenges or adversity.  Ideally we would want to overcome those currents with the grace of a majestic bird.  We should not allow things to affect us so much that it hampers our own ability to fly.  Consider that each gathering storm as small or large as it is, all have an ending.  As such, with our own trials that come before us, we should never forget that in time we will move on and our growth will be greater as a result.  In the eye of a storm, they say it is always quiet.  Ideally, if we happen to be in such a place, the quiet that comes with those moments should be dedicated to absorbing, learning and meditating, while being thankful for what we do have in that moment.  Although we may linger in what appears to be a lengthy storm, remember that there is always someone out there, that would wish to have your problems, as other peoples problems can be far worse than our own.  Think of the hawk or the eagle as an example of how you want to proceed when the currents get rough.  You want to rise above those circumstances and keep the ability to soar over those tumultuous periods until the winds around you calm down to a gentle breeze.  Have faith and courage in all things and know that the strong winds that you may be in will enable you to rise to greater places.  It is all within reach in just a matter of time.      

We have all heard of listening as a large element in how we communicate with others.  I began to think about the power of listening, not just to the people you interact with, perhaps even more importantly, yourself.  It is key that if you truly want to communicate and understand others, you will have to at times remain silent as you take in what someone else is trying to tell you.  The message can sometimes be quick and to the point, while other times one has to absorb the information received before a response is made.  For instance, take a couple whose marriage who has problems due to lack of communication, in many instances the core of the problem is due to either spouse who no longer listened to the other.  Therefore, the opportunity to save a marriage or a relationship can lie in the practice of being an active listener.  The other form of listening, which can be interpreted as your intuition, is when you pay attention to what your heart is telling you.  You can call this a heightened sense of awareness, or being more connected to your soul, however, it is important that we pay attention to those messages that we receive.  They can come in the form of a whisper, a particular feeling or sometimes it has a more powerful presence as you wake up or go to sleep. Don't forget about the power of listening, we can all benefit from exercising more of this and make it a stronger skilled element in our lives.  With practice one has the potential to foster better communication with those around you, while helping your daily journey be less complicated as a result.

Today I was inspired to write about one of the agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz's great book, "The Four Agreements".  Thanks to a friend who posted a reminder about these simple rules that can add so much to our daily lives, this gives me an opportunity to explore one of these further.  I am focusing on the fourth agreement which states: "Always Do Your Best; Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret."  A very concise rule to live by and very probable that sometimes one can struggle as you think you may not be doing our best in certain circumstances.  I also believe that doing your best with consistency avoids any pitfalls that may lie in front of you when there are days that doing your best is almost not an option.  Tough circumstances can certainly put you to the test, as it can make you feel that even though you have been doing your best, you don't see any immediate results.  To those I say, work on your ability to be more patient and add more gratitude to you life, as it will help you during your periods of waiting.  What I have found is that if you consistently attempt to do your best in all things, especially the little things and when nobody is looking, the tough mountains that were in front of you, appear to be less high and more manageable.  Being consistent also enables you to have less of a gap between the good periods versus the bad ones, as you navigate more evenly through each day.  Attempting your foremost at all times and with an even frequency will not only make your days more manageable, you will find that the world around you will reciprocate and give you more of its best in return.  

While reading this afternoon I ran into article by an author Arielle Ford and as she wrote about the power of intention, there was a specific line that caught my eye.  She stated, "You deserve your own love and affection.  When you fall in love with yourself, the whole world mirrors that love back to you." My thoughts stayed with this statement and I began to think longer about what it meant to me. What I took from this was that in order for us to receive all of the great things that we want in our lives, we must first begin with our acknowledgement that we are worthy.  It can be difficult at times because we tend to confuse being deserving of good things with perhaps being selfish.  Falling in love with yourself can also have barriers for some, as human beings we have our own issues with our acceptance. For some it can be the hurdles associated with body image and so this love process may be easier said than done.  I think we can acknowledge that we may not have the perfect body that matches how we feel inside, therefore, the sooner we can get past this the better.  If this is an area of development accept it, move towards it and move on.  Begin by acknowledging that you do have some great qualities and accept the positive comments when you hear them from your quality circle of people around you.  Don't be bogged down by what you have not accomplished and instead focus on what you have done. As adults we tend to take less credit for things that we had a direct effect on.  Also being forgiving and less critical of yourself is essential, as the world is not as critical as we happen to be.  Learn to get past any barrier that prevents you from feeling better about yourself and begin to receive the good feelings from the world around you.  Acceptance of ourselves can begin with affirming some of the great qualities that you already possess, such as; compassion, integrity, trustworthy, kind or generous just to name a few.  Pay attention to these areas as you prepare yourself for the world to love you back even more.  You are deserving of this and so much more.     

Today I was observing a discussion by motivational speaker, Tony Robbins.  He was talking about harboring resentment in your life and how it can be toxic when you retain it.  The quote that I loved from him during this session was, "Resentment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die".  That statement was so powerful as it illustrated so well how this feeling can over take you and cause you to feel worse.  While your bad feelings towards someone else may continue to fester, a lot of times those people don't even know nor do they care about your feelings of resentment.  Time can heal many wounds, however, one must be willing to get to the point that they want to heal, so that whatever the wound was and however deep, it all begins to close and fade away.  I don't think any of us have walked through life without feeling this negative emotion at one time or another.  This is another plus to growing older, in that the tolerance level for having negative emotions begins to diminish.  With life being as precious as it is, then the need to make the rest of your life less dissenting and filled with more positive emotions the better.  Take a stand if you have some of these emotions that are weighing you down and allow yourself to let go of that unwanted oppression.  Let resentment rest in your past and seek to make your future days filled with more happiness.  You will walk lighter and sleep better knowing that you carry less negative feelings and your outlook will brighten as well.    

Stretching your boundaries can be a good thing.  If you are living your life and feel comfortable as if there is nice sizable protective bubble around you, then perhaps it is time to begin to step beyond your comfort zone.  We do the most growth in our lives when we reach towards things that we at first felt were unattainable, yet, later feel accomplished that we were able to achieve.  In the same context I believe that it is very similar to exercising.  At first you don't want to do it and then when you begin you feel somewhat uncomfortable and finally when you finish you are filled with endorphins that make you feel more energized.  With exercise it is being consistent that allows you to begin to like that feeling of energy and that then the positive hormones which are released in your body are an added plus.  In life, we can operate in the same manner.  If you have made plans to go back to school, learn a new trade, begin a new health regimen or perhaps follow something that you feel passionate about, then you should begin walking towards it.  One step at a time adds up to a full journey.  When you begin to feel discomfort, remember that you will feel better soon, because you are stretching your mind, body and spirit.  Just like exercise, you will build a tolerance for and surpass any discomposure you may feel.  Soon enough you will realize that you are far beyond any apprehension may have had and your goal is within your grasp.  Remember that the more we unfold the more of ourselves we become. 

I was reading an article where the word "surrender" kept being repeated.  When I first thought about this word, it took me back in a flash in history when people surrendered to some type of monarchy.  When I compare it to what I feel surrender means to me now, the definition is quite different.  This word to me now means letting go of those things that I have no direct control over and to have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to.  In life we have many things in our past that sometimes hinder our ability to think that we can be better.  In some instances, we are own worst enemy and the biggest hurdle to obtaining achievement.  We cannot go back in time to change history.  As much as everyone would like to go back to make those changes, they are forever part of who we are.   Therefore it is important for us to not be consumed by those things that we would have now changed.  To this I say surrender your history.  All of the things that we learned whether in good situations or bad should be part of our inner operating manual.  We repeat the good and we learn to not repeat the bad.  If the beginning of your life was out of balance due to bad things that happened to you, then here is your opportunity to re-balance the rest of your life today.  Surrender does not mean forget, it simply means that you will not be bound by those things that brought you any discomfort or pain.  All things that may have once hurt us, should now make us stronger.  Put to rest anything that brings you feelings of resentment, bitterness or even anger.  Since you cannot change time and time is of the essence, don't waste anymore of it on the parts of your personal history that consume you with negative thoughts.  Instead, keep walking forward and allow yourself to be accepting of the new possibilities that can fill your life.  Surrendering can bring you greater inner peace and if we could achieve that, the world would be much kinder and gentler.  Therefore, choose to let certain things go and live in the grace that is your life today.  

Many successful people through out history have failed their way to success.  There are countless examples of how some of the most famous inventors, explorers, business people or leaders all began with multiple failures.  Among some of the most famous people in recent history was Walt Disney, who was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland.  In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.  Then there was the lovable Charles Schultz who created the comic strip "Peanuts" and gave the world Snoopy, Charlie Brown and Woodstock had every cartoon he submitted rejected by his high school yearbook staff.  Oh, and Walt Disney wouldn't hire him.  These are just two examples on the successful failure list that is much longer than I have space to write about.  Therefore, if we allow ourselves the opportunity to dream and think possibility, there is no telling what we are capable of achieving.  What Charles Schultz and Walt Disney represented so well, was the ability to believe in themselves and not give up on one's dreams.  With every perceived failure comes added knowledge and as a result one makes adjustments because one can see the potential for imminent success.  When your children, family or friends do something that appears to be a failure, don't forget to think about the possibilities if they actually get it right in the near future.  Many times we are surrounded by talented and gifted people who are on the verge of great success.  Finally I leave you with some words I saw on a motivational video which made this profound statement, "Never give up on a person's hopes and dreams, as it may be all that they have left".

I am continuing part of yesterday's conversation on not letting others take away your joy.  The additional point that I wanted to explore was based upon a saying that I saw on a training video many years ago, that simply said, "Don't Postpone Joy".  As simple as those words were, they carried such deep meaning for me.  I began to think of the many times I talked myself out of doing something joyful because I did not feel it was the right time, it cost too much money or the simple fact that I felt guilty of doing something for myself.  The pendulum did not stay there for very long, as I recall doing many things for myself after that, which then took me to the other extreme.  I then went into being out of balance by doing so much that it became selfish, I could not afford it or I felt that it was owed to me.  Thankfully, years of wisdom have brought me to a different place that I no longer have to worry about the pendulum and the swinging extremes.  The simplicity of the statement and its weighted measure speaks to me in that happiness cannot wait for the sun to be bright, the skies to be clear or the conditions to be perfect around you.  There is no such thing as perfect conditions.   However, our attitude and disposition can make us feel as if those conditions did exist.  Because life expectancy is not guaranteed, we must realize that joy in our lives comes in doses.  They arrive in large and small portions and we need to get used to savoring all of the sizes equally.  Do not wait for the next vacation to allow yourself to feel happiness, laughter or any of the other things that you feel you have not had enough of because you are too busy.  Take in what comes with each day and savor those bites of joy as they linger on our palates for days and weeks at a time.

Today I was hearing a speaker talk about not letting other people's choices steal your joy.  Whether you are a parent dealing with a child's choices, or you are a sibling and have other family members whose choices have affected you, your personal happiness should not be preempted as a result.  There a are many instances when one feels responsible in helping a family member in need because of a difficult situation.  At the end of the day, the person who got themselves into that predicament has to be held responsible for their actions.  As such, we can play the role of supporter, listener and sometimes guide, however, we have to walk a fine line in not being an enabler.  There are examples of how people have gone above and beyond what their role was in order to help a sibling, friend or child in need.  Sometimes siblings act as parents as a result of these situations and in actuality that is not their role.  At other times there is a role reversal and the parent may be acting irresponsibly and the children take on the parenting role.  It is also not a child's role to be a parent.  These situations bring unintended consequences such as hidden anger and resentment for the settings people were unnecessarily placed in. The responsibility in changing or addressing one's choices have to do with the person who made those decisions to begin with.  The support may weaken or dissipate from a family member or friend if the person does not change and continues their destructive behavior.  Although we have a certain amount of responsibility to help someone in need, it does not have to occur at the expense of losing one's own personal joy.  Let others be accountable for their behavior and set parameters for you to not be taken advantage of.  Seeking a balanced life filled with as much happiness as one deserves means that one should not sacrifice personal joy as a result of the poor actions of someone else.

With the amount of responsibilities in our lives, I know that a lot people can barely get through one week, when they are already thinking about what lies ahead in the following one.  We lose track of where we are, due to the busy schedules that fill up our days.  I was thinking about this dilemma earlier today  as I realized that the summer is almost over and the new Autumn season is waiting in the wings to take its turn.  The amount of time that is spent on raising children, going to work along with the other myriad of things that we are a part of on a daily basis can be overwhelming.  We must remember to ensure that we give ourselves some priority on the list of things to do.  Our mind, body and spirit work at their best when we have a better balance of all things.  Whether it is the early morning or late in the evening, give yourself time to take in where you happen to be at.  Think about where you want to be and how far you have come on that journey.  Provide yourself some moments to celebrate all that you have accomplished and the fact that you are still here.  As we get older, we have less people to tell us how well we are doing.  Therefore we need to develop mechanisms to enable that positive reinforcement to foster our continuous development.  Time travels very quickly and the days flow faster into months, while the years continue to accumulate behind them.  Don't miss the opportunity to stop and think about what you have accomplished in your life.  Give yourself those personal moments and have your own celebration of where you are today.   The measure of abundance in our lives can be counted in small increments.  Allow yourself to bask in the abundance of your daily life.  

We would be better off if we did not take ourselves so seriously.    As a result, the ego is one of the areas that we can all do a lot of work on to get rid off.  Our ego's do a good number on us in making us believe at times that we are more important than others.  As such, we have all been around people where the world revolved around them.  None of us would ever entertain being around those type of people for any extended period of time.  The differences lie in those that feel that the world owes them, as opposed to the others who live to contribute to the world.  If you are around people that appear to be needy all the time, then perhaps you should begin to do a better job of filtering your time around them.   When we give importance to titles and other non essential things, we begin to be defined by them.  Therefore it becomes harder to separate the real person from the persona.  We can all work towards letting those superficial things go and living more honestly with ourselves.  With practice, you will see that you are far greater than a title, the house you live in or the car you drive.  It is the person inside of us that matters the most and we need less ego's to dominate our immediate landscapes.  Keep working at letting those unimportant things go by the wayside and when you walk out the door into the public eye, let your true self be what the world sees.

"Count your blessings" is a saying that goes back in time as it has stayed constant over the years.  On a daily basis we are given things to be thankful for and some people would call them blessings while others may have a different term.  As one gets older, health becomes a bigger blessing to live for than it is in our younger years.  Our family can be considered a blessing as they add value and support to who we are.  I understand that sometimes some family members take away more from us than they contribute, however, overall the picture is that they exist as part of who we are.  I believe that another thing that changes as we get older is the fact that our blessings turn from the more superficial ones to the deep rooted and non-commercial type.  The question is do we really count our blessings daily or only when things are going our way?  Our best days of learning come from those when we are personally challenged and it can be very hard to find a blessing to count on those particular days.  What we have to get better at is to be consistent and have gratitude for what is in our life daily, as opposed to what may be missing.  Whether it is health, the well being of our family or the mere fact that you have a place to call home should all be in perspective.  By piecing together our perceived small blessings on a daily basis we can accumulate large blessings as a result.  It all begins by counting small and working your way towards a larger volume.  With time you will find that even on the toughest of days, you will be able to find something to count that will bring a smile to your face and validate that you have lots to be grateful for.

With creativity we can approach problems or set goals as we look at opportunities differently while allowing ourselves to think beyond our boundaries.   Some people have a lot more of this in them than others, however, I do believe we all possess this quality.  Artists of any genre carry this as their passion for what they do.  When you are mesmerized by a beautiful painting or hear a song that you feels speaks only to you, an artist has achieved what they had set out to do.  Sometimes the most creative minds do things that to us do not appear to have much creativity.  When you think about an accountant or mathematician one rarely things that creativity in those occupations can be part of the same sentence.  However, if we think about it from their perspective, they have the ability to thread numbers together and make formula's harmonize with such ease that in their world their accomplishments are a living work of art.  Creativity is definitely in the mind of the beholder.   No matter what your perspective is, think about ways that you can approach reaching goals with your own personal creative touch.  This can also be the difference between looking at work as work, versus looking at what your creative palate can contribute to the world on any given day.    

There is a great quote by Thomas Edison that states, "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."  What I take from this is the fact that we have to be prepared for those opportunities that we are waiting for. Furthermore, preparation for an opportunity is our own responsibility if we want to achieve success.  For instance, people who want to be promoted to a higher position at their work should begin by preparing for what may lie ahead.  This can mean a personal investment of their time or further education to obtain more knowledge to do that job in a competent manner. For many who have obtained a promotion, there is a lot of extra work that may not be realized until they have obtained the job.  Hence the other famous phrase, "Be careful what you wish for".  Opportunities become available at a moments notice and it is the time invested in the preparing for that potential opportunity that can serve as the catalyst for why some people are successful in pursuing those promotions versus another.  I have been at both ends of the spectrum of this in my own life.  Many years ago I thought I had prepared myself for an opportunity to enter into a leadership role, however, I was turned down repeatedly after many final interviews.  Much later I realized that although I may have prepared for this opportunity by taking on various leadership roles in my personal life, it was not until I had lost 2 members of my family that I realized I was missing the refined qualities of humility and empathy to be a better leader.  I was much younger and as I grew older I realized that had I not gone through those things, I would not have been as effective at my job as I was in later years in dealing with the complexities of managing people.  Being in the right place at the right time is part of it, however, more importantly is the work that you do to prepare for the next step that you wish to take.  Whether you are on the verge of actualizing your next step in life or your career, remember to not miss an opportunity that can be just around the corner.  With diligent determination, preparation and careful planning you will be able to accomplish what you seek.

People through out the ages have had strong convictions that made the mainstream uncomfortable before they were able to achieve success.  The road for people who have shown us what this looks like risked their lives and personal safety along with the wrath of the public who held opposing views.  What they stood for was not the majority at first, however, enough people felt as they did that they caused the majority to change with time.  History has been filled with those great examples of people that had the courage of their convictions to change the world around them.  Joan of Arc, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and Abraham Lincoln are but a few whose deep imprints have left lasting marks well after they were gone.  I believe that we have the ability to have such fixed and firm beliefs that we can alter our own history.  Our convictions may not be as deep as those famous people, however, we are quite capable of such achievements.  In our normal everyday lives we may strive for goals of improved health, financial well being, achieving a higher education or perhaps to raise our children to be successful adults.  There are many things that one can tackle, however, hard work and determination are key factors that follow these equations.  The work can be broken down into small palatable bites, prior to obtaining success.  Before we can move forward with following what we want changed, we need to convince ourselves first that we can achieve it.  If those people in history had a bad day and decided that they did not want to follow the courage of their convictions, we would be living in a different world today.  Understand that we can change our own history.  Dream big and live up to your convictions as you seek to leave your own imprint for your posterity.  Let the future generations know that courage of one's firm beliefs can alter their lives and change the world around them one day at a time.     

Last night I was watching the Olympics and I was fascinated by one of the men's relay races.  I was so inspired by a runner from South Africa who ran with two prosthetic legs as the anchor runner for his country's team.  Much has been made about his overcoming a substantial disability to live his Olympic dream among the other able bodied runners.  I thought about about it last night and this morning, how this person who was born with an abnormality that caused him to lose his legs as a child,yet, lived and triumphed as a young man who to himself bared no disability.  Wouldn't it be great if we could live our lives without ever thinking we had any shortcomings and proving to any naysayers that we can overcome and achieve what we set out to do?  I know that this runner must have had his share of challenges, however, the world saw only his prevailing determination and will as a top world athlete.  I believe everyone of us has those qualities, we just have to get better at summoning them as we set forth to conquer our goals.  There are many examples among us that show us that everything is possible.  With strong will and determination along with a good dose of faith, we all have the ingrained recipe that can bring us desired results.  During the tougher days we need to stay focused and not talk ourselves out of things that we need to go through.  Look for small victories along the way that can act as a compass as you set sail for the destination that your heart desires.  Most Olympic athletes began their lives in a non Olympic fashion.  Very few of us are born in surroundings that guarantee worldly success.  I am certain that one of the determining factors for these athletes was their level of support that fostered their dreams.  There are many people around you that can be your willing fans and will cheer you on as you proceed in your race towards achievement.  What we all share is the human will to succeed and it can make us strive for greatness.  Allow yourself the opportunity of achievement in your goals and be resolved, have patience and be persistent in your determination to be the winner of your own race.

Today I am revisiting a previously published column.

Inventing Your Life 

“Success Is A Series Of Steps” 

By 

Rob Claudio 

There have been a number of people that I have worked closely with over the years, who recently took another life step into the world of retirement. As I reflect on some of their many accomplishments and having to accept that they will be leaving soon, I decided to take a moment to take it all in. The fact that I have been able to have been part of someone’s work life, that affected my growth both personally and professionally is amazing as I reflect upon it. When I think of people’s success around me, I acknowledge the fact that one’s achievements were due to the many steps that were taken over a lifetime. Having recently participated in IAWP’s State Education Conference in Los Angeles, examples of success were all around me. Even the conference theme “The Stairway To Success”, resonated with me as one begins to think of the many long traveled roads it took some folks to get to where they are. For the new generations of today, I understand that the concept of waiting is not a preferred option and many seek to achieve with a fast paced quick turn-a-round in mind. However, there is something to be said for learning life’s lessons during their time and not ours. I can recall not too long ago, when I wanted certain things by a certain time and my own level of patience was not too tolerant of my inability to meet some of my personal deadlines. Then as the universe would have it, I would repeat certain lessons not too long after that because as I now understand it, I did not learn my lesson the first time. Does this sound familiar? 

I also learned a very good lesson a long time ago about being thankful everyday and not just when things were going right. One of the hardest things for someone to do is to have a grateful attitude during a time when they are going through a difficult time. Yet, it is this attitude that saves each of those tough days and allows us to be able to move into acceptance with a grateful heart. None of these lessons were easy, however, I can honestly say that they moved me many steps forward to my own version of how I define success in my life. For the many people who have success on their minds, however you choose to define it, I ask you to begin counting the little steps along your path as you continue on your journey. Also, don’t forget to celebrate your milestones once you begin to achieve them. I believe that sometimes we celebrate those key moments for too short a period, when in actuality our celebrations could last a lot longer. 

“You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become 

uninterested in money, compliments or publicity” 

-O.A. Battista

The layers associated with us can be as many as those in an onion.  On the outside we have all of these outer layers that have weathered time, trials along with good times that reflect to the world what we may look like on the outside.  However, as we begin to peel away those outer layers a more complex and shielded person may exist.  I was thinking about this earlier when we try to make an assessment of other people that we may not know in depth.  We go by our perception of what we see and in general we rely on our instinct to help validate what we thought about them.  It is not until one gets to know someone else in a more personal setting that we begin to see some of the layers fall off.  What we have to contend with is that not everyone is comfortable in sharing about themselves right away.  For some, this is can be a very uncomfortable experience and as a result will be less like to share after that first occurrence if it was a bad one.  With all of the layers that some people carry with them, it can be some time in the future before you get to know who they really are.  Although peeling those layers can be an uncomfortable happening, one must think of the weight that is lifted off of them when they no longer carry them.  That is one of the many positive aspects of doing this.  I find as one gets older, we want less of everything and living in a more simplistic existence.  Each day presents an opportunity for you to peel another layer away and get to the core of who you really are.  Live for the day where there will be no layers left but your true self.  You will walk lighter and feel less burdened while enjoying life in a deeper way.

There is a famous quote that says, "I have found that if you love life, life will love you back" by Arthur Rubinstein. Although I completely agree with this, it is sometimes hard to find that type of love for our life when we find ourselves in difficult circumstances. Especially when you have lost a loved one, the experience can be among the most difficult and heartbreaking that can turn our world upside down. I know that we are taught that things happen for a reason, however, we are sometimes left with unanswered questions that linger in the back of our minds. We contemplate what if or if I had one more day. This is among the most difficult parts of being human. We grow very attached to our loved one's and especially in our youth, we feel that sense of invincibility and that everyone will live forever. If you have lived long enough, you know that that feeling does not last as long as we thought. People will always feel and rightly so, that their time was too short with the person they may have lost. On the other end of the spectrum are the thoughts of the person who is no longer here. All of them would have wanted the best for us and to never have caused any sort of pain. Usually those that leave us were our protectors and with their loss, so goes that sense of protection around us. Faith is among the few things that we have, to get us through such adversity and the strong belief that we will meet up with our loved one's at the end our our own journey. If you find yourself struggling with loss, know that there are many around you that know the feelings that come with that. The people that are in your support circle will help you get through this. Remember all of the good times with as much intensity as the feelings that you have now. The simple gestures, their smiles, the laughter and the many great lessons you were taught by those people that you miss so dearly. All of those things will be our constant reminder that they are still with us in spirit and the thought that we will laugh again with them in the near future will help us get through the most difficult days. Never forget that life does love us back, we just have to do our part and although we may only see dark clouds in front of us, know that the sky above those clouds is always blue.

There are many things that connect us to other people.  We can have commonalities far beyond those than just related family members.  We bond to others that have similar interests to ourselves.  We connect to others as fans of the same sports teams and the loyalty of fans can be as strong as anything else.  There are those that bond as alumni of the same high school, college or university.  Some of our best remembered moments occur when we are younger, so there is always a soft spot in us when we speak about the school years where we met some of our closest friends.   Others are linked to each other based upon their faith and where they practice religion among their faith families.  There are a number of additional examples, however, the binding ingredient to all of these formulas is how we are very much connected to one another.  As a connected family member of the human race, we can bring the best out in ourselves and each other.  At times the world loses focus and we find that some people connect to others for the wrong reasons.  Let us not forget that at the end of each living day, we have more reason to celebrate our differences together and the fact that our connection to each other is a lot less complicated than we think.  In the simplest of terms, we owe each other mutual respect and we begin by being living examples to one another.  When our children are grown and our grandchildren begin to ask questions about why they may look different from someone else, we should all be able to happily acknowledge that although we look a little different from each other, we are all the same people.

Most of us are a work in progress.  There are areas of development in all of us and we get the opportunity to take inventory of how far we have progressed by the tests that come our way in life.  During those periods we need to take some time to do some self analysis.  First, we may be going through a similar situation that we had gone through previously, the question then turns to, "What lesson did we learn the last time we went through this?  The universe is great at making us repeat lessons that we did not learn previously. Hence, we should acknowledge that we may not have made the right decision (s) the last time so, "How are we going to proceed differently this time?"  There is a famous saying that states "The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result".   Therefore we must be careful to not proceed doing the exact same thing that got us to the same place.  Be honest with yourself and admit where things went wrong and forgive yourself as you proceed forward.  There is no need in beating yourself up because you may have repeated something you vowed not to previously.  Once you make your way through this next phase, remember to share what you have learned with others.  That is part of our growth in that we should acknowledge that others may also be dealing with similar issues. We have a universal responsibility to share what we have learned, so that others can try to avoid some of the pitfalls that we were not able to.  Although on paper it can sound somewhat simple, all of this takes effort.  The one thing that I do know is that the minute you get the meaning of a lesson, it is over and one moves on.  I hope that all of us continue to help each other as we walk forward and I look forward to seeing everyone enjoy their journey regardless of where one happens to be.

As I was walking this morning, I noticed a large leaf blowing alongside me for almost half a block.  It appeared to have been caught in some type of draft as it took some twists and turns along the way.  I was reminded in that moment how we sometimes feel a little lost or swayed in different directions by what transpires in our lives. There are challenges and opportunities that arise as a result, that help give form to our character.  Our lives are filled with many examples of the winds that have taken us in various directions.  Unlike a leaf, we have a better gauge on the direction that we want to go.  We just have to have patience and determination as we get caught up in these strong currents at times. It is easy to feel a little aimless when those things occur and discouragement can sometimes follow.  However, we must remind ourselves that with every flurry of wind that passes over us, we are one step closer to getting through a storm.  Seek to find those things that give you encouragement and also provide assistance to others.  Our breakthroughs in life sometimes occur by what we did for someone else as opposed to what we did for ourselves.  At the end of the day, we must continue to have hope and confidence that our destination is closer to us than we think.     

I was doing some research recently and I ran across what I thought was a famous quote.  As it turned out, they were famous lyrics from a song performed by the classic band from the seventies, The Eagles.  The lyrics were; "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key".  I love how music can be timeless and well written words can transcend any age.  In this case, I not only liked the words, I really liked what the meaning behind them was.  We have such power that we can will ourselves to do things that nobody thought possible.  Some people overcome such great obstacles that to hear their story, would make anyone weep.  The human spirit can soar above the many heartbreaking circumstances it once found itself in and it can define to others what triumph can look like.  If you are feeling that your life may be tied up some how and not going in the direction you want it to, then remember that you have the key that can transform your current circumstance.  The conditions that you find yourself in will change, because time does not stand still.  Seek to practice patience during trying times and focus on what your outcome will look like.  Speak your vision to whoever will listen and if you find yourself without an immediate audience, then listen to the words coming out of your own mouth.  Remember that we all have the key and if we believe in ourselves we can unlock the doors that once seemed to be closed.   

The media is constantly sending us messages about who we should be like, dress like or look like.  There are magazines, internet sites and commercials on radio and television that are the vehicle for the delivery of a lot of these messages.  The constant campaign of all of this coming at us at a very young age, can leave us feeling like we should be more like someone else and thinking that we should be living another person's life.  The sad truth is that we all fall prey to this well constructed barrage of information that permeates our daily living.  What the commercials don't highlight is the fact that being an original is incredibly important.  It is the basis for why people want to emulate us and why we leave a lasting impression on others.  Don't let the false messages weigh you down and seek to be confident in the unique qualities that make you different from everyone else.  Copies can come and go, as well as, the trend of the moment.  Remember that being an original is your true calling card to the rest of the world and that card is already printed with your name on it.  Use this to your advantage and when presented with ideas about what and how you should be, let someone else worry about making those unimportant decisions.