At times the world in which we live in can be filled with so many things aside from work and family, that it can all be quite overwhelming.  People have to contend at the end of each night with their thoughts on what they were able to get accomplished and what is still pending for the following day.  The fact that everyone is so busy is no wonder that people tend to have more sleeping problems today.  Just looking at the different types of medication available to help one sleep, the evidence can certainly substantiate this issue.  So where is it that one draws the proverbial line on things, in order to transcend beyond this sinking feeling?  For many family comes first.  If you have children or a spouse, there are those individuals that feel that they cannot possibly take time for themselves, as there are other people waiting in line.  However, dealing with oneself first to ensure that mind, body and spirit are indeed connecting, should be a priority that cannot be overlooked. Prioritization of ourselves could be chapter one in a book if it was written as a "how to" guide for living.  If you have ever been so ill that you could not get out of bed, that serves as a great example of what can happen to you if the foundation of your health is not in tact.  Illness can even make one look different, as usually you will find that someone that knows you well will automatically ask you if something is wrong, simply based upon your appearance.  We give out many signals to ourselves and others around us, that should illicit a response from us when our well being is at stake.  Learn to listen to your quiet voice, the thoughts that run inside your head first thing in the morning or the last thing at night.  Some of them could be considered a term that I heard long ago at a conference.  A famous theologian was doing a break out session at this event on "When God Whispers To You".  I found it very fascinating to look at those instances that occur almost every day to see how we react when faced with these whispers.  Some tend to ignore it, while others are very self aware.  I like the idea that God can whisper to us and provide some guidance, especially when we think nobody is listening or cares enough to hear about our own problems.  The truth is we have a lot of internal mechanisms in place that should be able to address or correct some of the things that are bothering us when we go to sleep at night.  When the whispers tell you that you should stop or start something, chances are that it is in your best interest to listen. Remember that in order to strive for balance and inner peace, you must begin to give yourself a priority number at the top of your own to-do list.  When our self foundation is strong then anything else that comes after that will be built on this sturdy frame, that will be able to withstand any storm that may come your way afterwards.    

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” is a famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.  I have talked about the fact that we seem to dream less as adults than we did as when we were children.  My belief is that dreaming does not have an expiration date, it is something that should continually happen.  Whether one has big dreams or little one's, it is important to keep thinking about the "what if's" in life.  In order for any dream to be able to manifest itself in your life, one has to give the opportunity for this to occur.  I was thinking about all of this when I was having a conversation with someone the other day and that person was telling me about how they thought a relative of theirs would react negatively to a suggestion they had.  I stopped the person as soon as they began to intimate that this could never work.  I had to point out to that person that a self fulfilling prophecy can be in the making.  There is a direct correlation to giving power to a negative vision as the possibility of that occurring can then be reinforced with how you think about things.  I had to go back to this individual and make them ask themselves, "what if....things worked out they way you planned them?"  They stopped for a moment and I could tell that the possibility of having a positive outcome had never crossed their mind.  If we were to never think about the right possibilities in our lives, we would be living a stagnant existence.  Rather than speak out loud about what cannot be, I think one should speak possibility as much as possible.  I am sure if you were to ask any famous entrepreneur about how they were able to be successful in their business ventures, they could all point to what was once a dream.  A great idea, a life shift or a personal reinvention can all be within reach, if you first dream out loud about it first.  Think about the possibilities that can occur if you were to give positive energy the thoughts that you have in your mind about what you want to accomplish.  We all have this innate ability to succeed and overcome, because we all have human will.  All we have to do is align what it is that we want, via a simple and direct plan.  Then you nurture that seed that you planted inside by watering it daily with your own positive thoughts, as you see yourself in the future succeeding at what you wanted to achieve.  Never let anyone diminish your dreams and if you have those people around you, filter them out.  The more power that you have over your own thoughts and what you want out of your life, the more you will be able to accomplish.  Remember to keep dreaming in all shapes and sizes and never stop reaching for the stars.  With continued persistence, you will find that soon enough the stars will all be within your reach.

Today I am revisiting a previously published column.

Inventing Your Life

“Purpose”

By

Rob Claudio

There have been many books written to discuss the reason one must be on this earth. I know I have read a few that were quite inspiring to me and that made me think a little deeper about defining what my purpose was. It is an interesting review, when you think about your life’s accomplishments and what still remains to be seen. Since the future is vast and unknown to us, I maintain that living by doing what’s right in the “right now” time frame, may be the best platform for us to proceed. In prior years I did some training on “Excellence” and what that meant to me. The shortest version of it, means doing the right things for the right reasons. One example that I always spoke about is the mere effort of returning a shopping cart to the shopping cart section at a store. Living an excellent life begins with doing small excellent things on a daily basis. I was once at a Target store and it was raining, I was walking around my truck and putting things in the back seat while holding an umbrella. After I was done, I was so tempted to leave the cart there and just take off. I figured nobody is watching me. However, being that I taught and spoke about this in my training sessions, I knew I had to walk that cart to its designated spot in rain and puddles. A lady saw me as she was getting into her car by the cart section and told me, “I have never seen anyone do this, especially in this type of weather.” I smiled and simply responded, “I have to, I teach about it,” and I walked back in more rain and stepped in more puddles. I thought to myself as I drove off and laughed, that lady must have thought how weird to run into someone who teaches about shopping carts. Interestingly, when you do the right things for the right reasons, you will find that it is hard to go back and regress to not doing things the right way. I think our inner-self realizes that we can live a much more peaceful existence and sleep well at night knowing that we have done what was right. There are lots of examples of where to begin this process if you have not already done so. Allowing people to merge on the freeway; opening the door for someone who is having difficulty doing so; thanking people for an act of kindness while looking into their eyes, or perhaps giving of yourself or your talent to a worthy cause. The possibilities are endless; the rewards are great. You get to choose every day how to proceed with the rest of your life, I hope you choose wisely. 

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like” 

– Will Rogers

The feeling that exists when one is the intended receiver of a random act of kindness, can be life changing.  To me it serves as a great reminder that there is more good in the world than most would think is possible.  Some time ago, I was on my way home after a long day at work and I decided I was too tired to cook anything once I got there.  I went into a nearby restaurant with a drive through window and upon the conclusion of my order as I drove forward to pay for my meal, the customer service person advised me that my dinner had been paid for by the driver ahead of me.  In that moment, I did not know what to say other than to utter the words, thank you.  As I drove away, I tried to remember what type of car was in front of me or what the person driving it looked like.  I did not have much luck, as I was not fully concentrating on this while I was looking at what I was going to order.  It needless to say made my day, my week and still brings me joy.  Every time I think of this, I smile as the experience provided for me a wonderful example that although humanity in the world can appear to be cold, distant and not fully connected at times, in this instance it was.  I also heard of another story today of a waitress who was serving some customers at a restaurant.  As she was serving these people she began to engage in some small talk about her intention to some day save enough money to go back to Italy, to visit some relatives that she had not seen in years.  As those customers finished their meal and left the restaurant, the waitress went to pick up the check along with money they had left behind to cover their expense.  The bill for the meals was about sixty dollars, however, when she picked up the check and money there was a note attached that said "for your ticket to Italy".  To her surprise the customers left her a tip of one thousand dollars.  When I heard this story, it made my heart feel good that this type of generosity is in great existence.  Some people who did not know too many details about an individual, saw something in her that made them want to help in a very generous way.  They had the ability to do so and as a result, this waitress will never be the same because of this experience.  Now most of us do not have that type of discretionary income to leave that kind of tip, however, we are all capable of helping in our own meaningful way.  The next time you think about the best day that you had and when it brings a smile to your face, think about the possibility of doing something random that can bring the same type of cheer to a person who crosses your path.  Knowing that you have this type of power and that you can use it for the good of others should be reason enough to be able to utilize it.  A kind act, a kind word or even a kind smile to someone that needs it can transform someone's regular day to a great day.  Allow yourself to be a catalyst to another person's happiness and your rewards will surely be multiplied within a matter of time.

"Anger and un-forgiveness can ruin lives, but you don’t have to let them ruin yours", this was a quote that I ran across today from Joyce Meyer.  This statement is pretty straight forward when you think about it.  Most of the time forgiving someone is more for us, rather than the person who may have caused us some harm.  People are not perfect by any means and if you get to live long enough on this earth, you will find those opportunities which can occur when someone may elicit one's negative feelings.  Although your feelings may be justified that somebody was responsible for hurting you, if you think about the long term effects that this can cause if you continue to hold on to it, the price is usually not worth it.  I believe that we have the right to feel what ever emotion we need to feel when it occurs, however, letting the negative things go is a must in order for one to move on and have peace of mind.  Carrying a grudge or resentment towards somebody can take a lot of energy and fill your heart with a sense of heaviness that can become quite burdensome over time.  Do yourself a favor and allow yourself to let go of things or people that may have hurt you in the past.  As human beings we all have many faults to contend with and we do not always model the behavior that we want others to bestow upon us.  Think about your life similar to when you first went to elementary school.  In kindergarten, one was taught some very basic values along with some key manners.  A simple thank you or I am sorry, can go a long way in order to help heal old wounds.  Think about moving forward from any negative experience, rather than harboring it in the recess of your mind.  As children, we learned that if we did something wrong towards another person, we should apologize as it was the right thing to do.  Do not let your ego get in the way or dictate to you how you should feel, as this tends to exacerbate the problem.  Remember that peace of mind and a clear conscience can be within your reach if you allow yourself to let go.  Also, by letting go of your ego, you will be able to find the need to defend or justify your actions as you lean towards a more peaceful existence.  

I was invited to watch a professional baseball game on Saturday and although it was an exciting event, what happened after it was over was the actual highlight.  They were honoring military service men and women, with many tributes before and during the game.  Afterwards, we were treated to a game of three innings that highlighted the Wounded Warriors of Camp Pendelton and Sam Houston.  This group of heroes who had served their country and became disabled as a result were baseball athletes who still maintained their competitive edge, even though they had some disabilities to contend with.  I was captivated by a catcher on the Sam Houston team that lost his right leg from the knee cap down and was wearing a prosthetic that allowed him to play.  It was so overwhelming to see this young man who was so athletic and competitive as they played out these innings before the remaining crowd at the stadium.  Aside from the fact that these Wounded Warriors had to confront an enemy and were put in very dangerous situations, they came home with some hefty reminders of the price that is paid for freedom in our country.  These athletes could have given up playing the sport that they so loved after what happened to them physically and mentally.  However, they showed all of us in attendance that the human spirit can persevere and if you enjoy playing a sport such as baseball, you should not let any potential limitations keep you from it.  The moment also made me thankful for their courage and ability to put their country first that has allowed me the opportunity to maintain a somewhat normal existence here at home.  I can't say enough about what their sacrifices are and what they mean to all of us Americans, to have these young soldiers take on a job that comes with such high consequences.  In the moment I was reminded of the movies that I used to watch when I was very young, where the good guys would take on the bad guys.  I always rooted for the good guys and in the end they always seemed to win at the very last minute.  Looking at these individuals on the baseball field I also realized that they are actually the good guys and we all owe a large debt for what they have done for us.  There may be bad people who do evil things in the world, however, I was reminded that although those may exist, the fighting and determined spirit of the good guys will always win in the end.

I am sharing my latest column to be published next month. 

Inventing Your Life

“Learn To Be Fearless”

By

Rob Claudio

A newspaper story that I ran across this week, had a captivating depiction about a young woman who is top ranked in the sport of pole vaulting in the state of Texas, she also happens to be blind.  I tried to quickly envision how one could possibly compete in this sport without the use of eyesight.  As it turns out this determined fifteen year old high school student is a force to be reckoned with.  She is legally blind and cannot distinguish between shapes or shadows.  Everything that she does with regard to this physical activity uses her keen ability to be precise about the steps that she takes and calculating the exact time when the pole hits the ground in order to fly over the height bar.  From my recollection when I am able to view this athletic competition when the Summer Olympics are taking place, this sport looks challenging enough for any able bodied athlete.  The word “fearless” quickly came to mind, in reading more details about this individual as this was the perfect word that represented how she approached her life.  In our own world where we contend with various challenges and obstacles on a daily basis, I wonder how fearless we all are when we are presented with a hurdle that we need to get past?  Some people have a more dominate fearless gene versus others, however, I do believe that we can all exercise this muscle enough to increase its strength.  Perhaps some people may ponder why they should even consider accelerating this attribute.  I can only offer my perspective, in that there is something that occurs when you let go of your inhibitions and although you may feel vulnerable in the moment, it can come with a surprising level of fulfillment afterwards.  Having the strength or courage to face one’s fears also releases a lot of repressed negative feelings that may have existed or accumulated over time.  Another example is to look at how children depict this attribute as they are usually more fearless than we are as adults.  This could be in part that with experience and age, one is less likely to put themselves in uncomfortable situations and one can distinguish those more readily as time goes by.  There is something to be said for pushing one’s own boundaries as continued growth and self-actualization can proceed to take place, no matter what age or stage in life you happen to be at.  This young girl is a great example of what can be accomplished if we step out of our own comfort zone and not be defined by what others may perceive as a limitation.  At times, we can be our own worst critic and the primary influence to our perceived impediments.  Just think about the many things that you could accomplish if your daily philosophy was, “the sky is the limit”?  Now I am not saying that one should book the next sky diving adventure, in order to feel that sense of exhilaration or to push one’s boundaries to the extreme.  What I am saying is that we could allow ourselves to let go of what is comfortable and ordinary while we seek to experience things that can expand our horizons.  If you fail at something that you attempt, you can always learn something from the experience.  On the plus side, you may be successful in attempting something new that can change your perspective and allow you to grow even more.  Connect with your inner fearless self, similar to the girl in the news story or the child from your youth, while you throw caution to the wind.  Learn to stretch your boundaries to make room for the more developed self that you wish to be.  Finally, change your thinking and approach to life by erasing any boundaries that may have existed previously and eliminate drawing any further lines that may confine your ability to soar beyond any expectation.  

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose and to do it fearlessly.”
― Steve Maraboli

When you think about the things that you know now as opposed to what you knew when you were younger, it can take some time to fully absorb all of the changes that one has undergone.  For me the changes over time have caused ultimately positive changes, however, it may have taken some time to realize that things were in fact for my own good.  I am also a true believer that when we know better we do better.  Our lives are filled with many instances that if we could replay those moments such as on YouTube, it would be quite enlightening to see what we were like in those moments when we made some crucial life decisions.  In reflecting about all of this I was reminded about one of my favorite movies with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep, it was called, "Defending Your Life".  In this movie Albert dies and before he goes to Heaven, he has to defend the life that he had on Earth in a before Heaven place. He has an appointed attorney that is assigned to him and during the course of the defense, they play parts of his life back in short videos that are filled with examples of him demonstrating qualities such as bravery.  There is also an attorney arguing on the other side and showing vignettes of his life that demonstrate where he did not show good qualities and their position is that he should be sent back to Earth as he is not ready.  If I were to defend my life, I am not sure where I would begin to show the markers that I feel were the moments that enabled my respective good qualities to shine.  When I think about everything that has occurred in my life, it was a series of moments that were strung together that were able to give me the desired attributes that I am proud of today.  I have come to realize that things that happen in my life are here to teach me something, which was not always my philosophy.  I have also learned that when things are presented in my life more than once, I know that I probably did not learn the lesson the first time.  I would like to say that I have done better in knowing more or as wisdom has allowed me to be more cognizant of the consequences of my decisions.  The next time you get the opportunity to reflect on what you have learned over time, give yourself some credit for the things that you got right, while also allowing for additional opportunities of growth to still occur.  The path to personal growth is as varied as the geography on our planet.  Not all of it is the same and one must allow themselves to enjoy where they happen to be at, even though that may not be one's final destination.

I had the opportunity to do something that I had been wanting to do for a long time yesterday.  I had a great time, as I was surrounded by close friends and the occasion made me laugh and feel that I was part of something iconic.  As I drove home I began to think about the opportunities that we get when we want to check something off of our life's to-do list.  More times than not, I have found that I can come up with plenty of excuses as to why I do not have time or unable to allow myself to do some of these things.  It is not uncommon for most of us to put ourselves towards the end of our priorities, as we can feel a sense of guilt about putting ourselves first.  The thing is, time goes by so fast that before you know it, the opportunity for you to get to something, may have passed and then you may feel that perhaps it was not as important as you thought.  Careers, family and other home responsibilities are a great excuse for not being able to get to certain things.  However, we need to all do a better job of planning for those opportunities when they present themselves and sometimes be more direct and just schedule it.  Time will always be a moving target for many of us and our ability to fit things in, gets more difficult when you are trying to manage multiple responsibilities.  When we sit still in the early morning hours or late at night, we can clear our minds by thinking about the many things that we were able to accomplish during a long and busy day or perhaps planning on what you want to get done.  Yet, in those same moments, we should dedicate some specific time to reflect on the things that we want to accomplish for our own personal achievements and walk through the timeline that it will take to achieve it.  It is very difficult to achieve something that you cannot visualize first, so we all need to start visually mapping those items out so that we can eventually make them materialize in our lives.  Just because you put yourself first does not mean that you are self centered or selfish.  It just means that you are making yourself a priority which is a natural fit for how things should be in our lives.  Give time to items that need your attention and also give time to yourself.  The importance of prioritizing in one's life can not only lead to a more balanced existence, it can also provide for a better guide to achieving what you intend o accomplish.

"Change the way you look at things and and the things you look at change" is a quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer whom I admire and follow.  Not only do I completely agree with this, it can be the catalyst for one to live their life with this type of philosophy at any given time.  When I think about myself in my younger years, I do remember moments of self doubt and wishing that I had the life of someone else.  I guess like most young people, one wishes that they had lots of discretionary income, a model family that lives in a big house and lots of friends to call upon at any given time.  The truth is, I had to work for any extra income in my youth, however, I was blessed to have a grandmother who always had something extra for me.  The houses that I grew up in changed over time, however, they were never the kind that had the backyard pool. Where I did live we seemed to have plenty of space and there was always something to eat.  I know as a child it was a luxury to go to a fast food restaurant and for the most part ate homemade meals that were either cooked by mom or grandmother.  I did not not have the large group of friends that were super popular at school, however, I did have some very close friends and family members that were part of my support circle, who until this day are still a constant presence.  What I also grew up with was a positive attitude, even though it seemed to abandon me during my adolescent years.  I had a steady caring mother and grandmother who laughed when things went wrong and showed great resilience during my entire life.  When I read this quote today by Dr. Dyer, I completely got it, as I had been brought up to change the way that I looked at things.  I can't thank my family circle enough for having the fortitude to instill this type of thinking in me from such a young age.  Although challenges in life come and go, I feel that that being balanced all the time has become my goal.  I am grateful everyday that I am blessed to have another one and I always try to learn something new from each day.  How I look at things also comes with my inherited sense of humor, as everyday there is always something that I can laugh about or make me smile.  My advice to anyone who feels that they need a change in their life is to do what the quote says.  Think of the days in your life as having an opportunity to try out a new pair of sunglasses to look at the world through.  Don't keep wearing the same ones everyday, as it will not yield enough variety on how you view things.  As the days change, then change along with it and look at each day with those new pair of shades that can make you feel as if you were experiencing something new, different and positive.  Remember that you were not meant to live a mediocre life, you were meant to live an extraordinary life and that can be achieved by the attitude and perspective that you wake up with when the sun creeps in your room to greet you in the morning.

The power of intention teaches us that you will attract to you what you you really want. According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, "You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.”  What he explains is that there is a big difference between demanding something and allowing something to occur. When we demand things that we want, what can be troubling with this is that the exact way in how it manifests itself in our life, may not be exactly how you pictured it.  For instance, if you want to be surrounded by more people because you may feel that you are a bit lonesome, then all of a sudden you can potentially find yourself in a precarious situation with that intention.  More people around you could mean that they are needy people who constantly want something from you or perhaps they are individuals that live in constant negativity.  Although you may have gotten what you wanted, it may not have been the clear solution to your problem.  Sometimes people hope and pray that they get another job that pays them more money, which can help if you find yourself financially burdened.  However, if you were successful in obtaining that job, then you may find that you are actually working over sixty hours a week and you have little or no time for any social or family time, which then begs the question if it was worth it?  The point of dedicating time to thinking about what you really want is to ensure that you have a clear message that defines what your expectations are.  Sometimes we fail to ask ourselves about the little details that can make a huge difference in obtaining what we want in life.  Having more, can sometimes mean that you will be sacrificing more.  Whether it is time, money, relationships or something else of value, you need to think with a clear mind about what your intended outcomes should be.  Having a clear vision for yourself and being precise about the particular details associated with your vision, can be the difference between being satisfied and being fulfilled.  Think about allowing things to occur as you had envisioned them, as opposed to demanding that they happen right away. When you think about the things that you want to have in your life in the future, don't leave out the details.  The power of intention does not read between the lines, so you have to be your own author that writes the script of how you want your life to play out.

Can you imagine what your life would be like if you were able to correct mistakes instantly, like on most cell phones with an auto correction feature?  This thought intrigued me this afternoon, when I was typing a message to someone and as the feature corrected the word I wanted to use, it made me wonder about having this feature available to us during the course of our everyday lives.  If it did exist, I think we could learn to become quite dependent on the fact that we would depend on something else for making our decisions.  Having this could certainly rob us of the ability to learn from our mistakes, because living in this type of world we probably would be less likely to make them.  The result would also diminish our resilience in attempting to overcome an obstacle and the concept of a hard lesson learned would be eliminated from our existing vocabulary.  The truth is, that although lessons are tough and in some instances they can feel quite painful, we end up growing so much as a result of the experience.  As children we learned that if we touched the stove and it was hot, we would get burned.  Usually, it did not take more than once to realize that you are not supposed to do this based upon the consequence.  In life, we too utilize our lessons in the same manner, in trying to not repeat something that did not feel right or brought us negative ramifications.  Our ability to walk through a problem and live in those moments that make us vulnerable, is also our ticket to the solution in many instances.  When we begin to pray, meditate or simply sit in silence in the midst of a storm, we are usually filled with some level of hope that we will able to get past this turbulent period.  In addition, we get this will and energy that allows us to get up and move on.  If we had an app that did this for us, then we would not grow as much or be able to share with others how we were able to find success during our times of need.  Strength usually comes from within ourselves and unless we have peeled enough layers from the outside of who we really are, it may be more difficult to reach that much needed place that will allow us to succeed.  The next time that you have an opportunity to marvel at technology, which I do believe makes our world much better at times, we should also reflect on the fact that nothing can replace the human experience.  Whether it is positive or negative, the result makes us stronger and more knowledgeable.  Our children and grandchildren may learn about things via an electronic mechanism, however, nothing can ever replace the learning that is accomplished through the human experience.  When a wise person finds you and whispers some sage words that can bring you comfort and allow you to look at things differently, is the moment that you realize that the human touch is infinitely more valuable.