Cleaning Up Your Life Issues

In the process of sweeping up some leaves a few days ago, as the season of Fall brings about the loss of life and color in the leaves, I was reminded about the things that need cleaning up in our own lives.  Many people have issues that they have needed to deal with for some time, however, due to a number of reasons the act of procrastination can sometimes get the best of folks.  Whether it is a tough conversation that you need to have with another person, facing a personal longstanding issue or simple clean up of clutter that you have been putting off for some time, all needs its moment in the spotlight.   Similar to a lawn or garden that is filled with leaves or weeds that are impeding your surroundings to look their best, our own lives have that type of necessity as well.  When we hold on to things that are not for our own good, they tend to fester and we may lose the ability to focus on the things that are most important.  Without knowing it, one can begin to show signs of this imbalance in the day-to-day activities that would normally flow without any concern.  When things bother us, we tend to not sleep as well at night, we start paying less attention to the things that we need to for our own personal health or growth and all things start becoming evident in our daily routines.  The manifestations can have many forms, however, the solution is all within you.  Only you can determine how long you will carry a grudge, live in denial or fail to address the things that need your attention.  It is not too hard to pinpoint this out when you realize that there must be an issue when you see a familiar face that appears out of sorts.  Sometimes looking in the mirror, one realizes that that face is actually your own. Don't let time get away from you anymore and if something needs to be cleaned up, put your heart and effort into completing this task.  Although our lives may fill up with other issues or concerns, similar to the many leaves that continue to fall from those Autumn trees, one must be diligent in the clean up process.  It is only then that peace of mind can connect with your body and restore your restful night sleep.  In addition your sunnier disposition may finally be brought back to the present moment after taking an unplanned prolonged absence.  The clean up process always involves some work and sometimes it is not the most pleasant.  However, in the end you will breathe a sigh of relief and feel more weight taken off your shoulders as you take responsibility for the transformation to live a better life.      

Why Poor Behavior Shows Up

I periodically hear someone around me that I can tell has an issue with their past that they have not dealt with completely.  Earlier this week I made such an observation and I felt bad for that individual whose outward emotions tend to get the better of them.  When people react in a very defensive manner and then begin the rapid process of providing you with justifications as to why they are doing this, it becomes a good opportunity for the receiver of this information to take a step back.  Some individuals are not ready to make amends with a prior issue and as a result carry those deep rooted feelings with them at all times.  The manifestation of this can occur periodically when they lash out at someone and proceed to use their insecurity as a force field of sorts, to keep others away.  I learned a long time ago that one should never take anything personally and when such examples occur around me, I acknowledge what is being presented to me and then I step aside to allow this behavior to proceed without me.  I have also come to learn that if you are not party to the audience, similar to when a child throws a tantrum, then the individual does not have enough demonstrative power to envelope everyone around them.  It has taken many years of practice, however, it has been a well lesson learned that has given me peace of mind through out my adult years.  If you find yourself in situations where this gets presented to you at times, use your awareness of the situation to understand what it is and to not be bothered by those exhibiting this behavior.  Whether it is someone you know or a friend or perhaps a relative that may have these episodes at time, understand that they have far greater issues than what appear before you.  Don't ever lower your own expectations for yourself and keep your strength along with your attitude at the place that it should be, up high where it belongs.  

Becoming Action Minded

I read an interesting quote a couple of days ago by one of the greatest inventors of our country, Henry Ford.  He stated, "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do".  I absolutely agree with the meaning behind this, in that you have to take action in order to get something accomplished.  For many there is a state of mind that takes you to the "what if's" in life.  Such as, what if you were married, what if you were not married, what if you won the lottery or what if you had chosen another career?  All of these are valid questions that people contend with at some point in their life, however, for those that want to see a result from their postulating there would have to be some steps taken in order to arrive at where you want to be.  We all know that life is a lot shorter than what most people realize, therefore, it is the opportunity that presents itself with every new day that can provide  you with the springboard to move you towards your desired goal.  It is great to dream and I am a proponent that one should never stop doing this, as it lends itself to a great imagination and some therapeutic moments of possibility.  Also, in order to achieve something sometimes it takes some visualization to accomplish it. However, if there is a need in your life to make some drastic changes, then I would certainly take Mr. Ford's advice to ensure that your reputation is built on what you have accomplished.  If you have procrastinated about something for some time, then make up your mind and be resolved to finally make those changes.  Address the things that need your focus and don't get caught up in the guilt that may come, as a result of this taking longer than it should have.  Leave guilt and condemnation to the past where it belongs, while you provide yourself with the ability to step forward anew.  Some people wait for something monumental to happen in their life in order to make a change, don't be that person.  Instead, be proactive and choose your calculated strategy that will get you closer to the place that you desire to be.  Taking small steps can also be a good way to approach your proposed changes.  Remember that the best trained athletes are consistent with their behavior along with their choices in order to get them to the winners circle.  You can be in the same circle as they are, you just have to be motivated in order to get there.  

Nurture What Is Important To You

I read an article today that plainly stated that if you don’t know what’s important to you, you will do the things that are not. I thought that this was so powerful, that I decided that it deserved more of my time in exploring more of its meaning.  If you are busy with work, home or your children's activities, you may find that you are doing lots of things that may have various levels of importance at any given time.   We tend to focus on the burning issue at hand which can reveal more time is necessary to be spent on a particular issue.  Our priorities become blurred through out the day, week or month.  Although one may have begun the day with a specific action item in mind, it only takes a few fleeting moments to turn that into a completely new direction.  I have spoken before about our lack of discipline when it comes to putting ourselves first.  Therefore it begs a follow up conversation every so often, to see if the priorities in your life have gotten any better.  When you make a list of those things that are important to you, also make a list at the end of the week on the things that you spent the most time on.  If your lists are not matching up, then you have some work to do to correct this imbalance.  Getting lost in the areas of things that are non-important or less, can create a new task for you to figure out how you are going  to get yourself out of this place.  If you stick to your list of important things, you will slowly begin to filter those things that should have secondary or less significance, while you turn your attention and focus to the things that really matter to you.  Whether it is your health, family, finances or personal areas of development that you want to see flourish, it takes some time and dedication to get there.  Think about the seeds that are planted and the care, water and attention that are needed to bring it to full bloom.  It rarely happens as a result of an accident.  It is always well planned and calculated.  Therefore challenge yourself to do the same type of things in your life as it relates to your own fulfillment.  Spend more time where you need to and begin to eliminate the things that take you away from those significant items.  Prioritizing your life is an ongoing chore, yet, a necessary one.  With the right balance and attention, you will soon find yourself blooming just like the seeds that were planted some time ago.    

Clarity

I saw a great quote of which the essence spoke to having clarity when things are darkest around you.  Although most of us would want to have this type of enlightenment at a more ideal period, it is quite interesting what can come about in a moment of crisis.  There are many stories of heroism when people were rescued from an accident or some other critical period, that exemplifies a person who was fearless and a risk taker, in the midst of saving someone else.  We see this sense of community when a natural disaster strikes and people forget their prejudices or other views about the people around them. They do the admirable thing in that they band together for the same purpose.  Wouldn't it be great if ideally this is how people acted all of the time?  Perhaps one day, however, until then we contend with many who have opposing views of somebody else, without regard for the fact that people are individuals and it is because of our differences that the world is stronger.  There have been some great films that have also exemplified how through the darkness, people still persevere and find their own version of clarity.  The Life of Pi, Cast Away, Rudy and The Color Purple just to name a few.  All of these had a common theme of determination and perseverance in the midst of some very difficult obstacles.  Going through a trial or other unexpected events in your life, one must look for those solemn moments when lucidity can become apparent.  Those periods when one can finally see clearly and then begin to make more calculated decisions about how they will proceed can be life changing.  Therefore don't think about darkness with angst or trepidation when it happens to occur around you, instead think about the potential of what that opportunity can bring.  Embrace where you happen to be today and if you are seeking to change something, then write things down on a piece of paper that is related to what you want to see in  your own future.  Clarity of vision for oneself is very important if there is a desire to change a circumstance.  Remember that although the light may not be shining upon you as you would like, if you look up the stars may be shining brightly and providing you with guidance towards a different course, that could possibly be where you were really meant to be.

The End Of A Life's Journey

I watched an episode of a show that dealt with the loss of someone and they did a very good job of showing you the many stages of grief that people go through.  What I have learned is that if you get the privilege of living long enough on this earth, you will eventually go through an experience of loss that will shake you to your core.  In those moments, everything feels like a dream and a bad one at that.  It is a surreal experience to have to go through something such as this and for every individual the experience is as unique as the loved one they lost.  Most people learn the process of mourning through modeling which was learned from their family.  This is also why the process of grief is so vastly different among people.  Sudden loss versus anticipated loss, none of it ever makes sense at the moment that it occurs.  What the heart and mind are trying to reconcile in those instances is that there will never be another opportunity for a person to say one last word or give one last hug to that person or have the opportunity to say goodbye on their terms.  The moment of saying goodbye has always taken a sentimental and emotional turn that one wishes did not have exist.  We all know that nobody lives forever, yet we get lulled into this false sense of security that those that you may consider your rock or that mean the most in your life will forever be by your side.  The realization that this is not true inevitably shows up to remind us of how life is ultimately constructed in a fragile way.  It does not happen right away, however, little by little one begins to piece the life that is now gone with wonderful and happy memories that at times betrays your joyful emotional state.  Time marches on then as the new sunrise shows up outside your window, there are rays of hope that can flicker in between the curtains or blinds that help remind one based upon their beliefs that perhaps you can look forward to a happy reunion one day.  Until then, we have to be resolved to keep the memories of those people that meant so much, by honoring what they would have wanted one to do in their absence.  To be able to enjoy your own life, continue to laugh out loud and do things that would make them even more proud of the person that you were able to become, as a result of their influence on you.  Missing an individual can last a lifetime, however, filling in the emptiness with other meaningful relationships or work in honor of those that are no longer here can be something to strive for.  Loss and grief cannot be avoided, however, one must remember that the celebration of a person's life can last a lifetime.  Try to focus on the many wonderful memories that have left beautiful imprints in your heart and remember that life is in fact precious and truly a gift to be cherished at all times.    

Success Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

I was contemplating the meaning of success earlier today, as I thought about its many interpretations for different people.  If you were to ask anyone what they feel success is, I am sure you would get so many varied answers that the list would be quite large.  What is most interesting is the many degrees that encompasses this term and depending on where you are in life, it is all relative.  Imagine the many people that suffer with long term illnesses, for them having a good day where they may not need as much medication or assistance from someone else could be considered a successful day.  For the young child who struggles to understand with a learning disability, if they were to go to class and feel that they were not impaired on that day, or feel somewhat normal, they too could see this achievement.   There are people that challenge themselves to have better health and for them perhaps being able to get to they gym or make a healthy meal without exerted effort may be the best they could do for themselves.  The famous director and actor Woody Allen once stated very succinctly, that eighty percent of success was just showing up.  Therefore, if this type of progress varies by individual, we should all be having more of it in our lives as a result.  How you define it and what it looks like, is entirely up to you and the power that you have to customize your view is part of your life's tool box.  I am sure that if we were to think about things long enough, we could be very critical of our achievements or perhaps the lack of them in comparison to others.  However, there are many things that one can find pride in, that could be the building block of many stepping stones.  Don't be so critical of  yourself, remember that life is always too short and the less time you focus on what you don't have versus those things that you do, is far more compelling.  If you have goals in mind, make sure that you put pen and paper to them, say them out loud and tell others.  Nothing can hold you more accountable towards achievement than by writing it, hearing it and having others validate it for you.  Take note that with time anything is possible and there are no such thing as having an unimaginable dream, it all begins with your own effort and will.  The next time you think about someone else that you admire and the success they have achieved, make sure to include yourself in that same venue.  I am sure that there are many that perceive you as being successful, you just may not be aware of it yet.  

Perspective

There have been interesting times through out my life, when I put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve something.  Deep down somewhere inside of me, I could envision what I wanted and how I could get there.  I believe this was one of the many qualities that I inherited from my mother and grandmother, in that they instilled in me that I could achieve anything with hard work.  Interestingly, that formula still stands the test of time.  However, once you get to a certain age, you become more calculated in what you are willing to sacrifice for.  When I see the world around me, the pressures that exist among the younger generations appears to be monumental at times.  For people that were born after the year 2001, they have grown up with the awareness of terrorism and how other parts of the world disagree with our American views and values.  There are also issues with cyber terrorism and so many other countless forms that induce harm.  All you have to see is the first twenty minutes of the evening news, as the majority of it is filled with all of the things that should bring caution or fear to many.  This is why we need to do our best to create a filter for those things that are informational and not to be digested.  The weight of the world on anybody's shoulders would cause tremendous strain and discomfort.  As humans we can only take so much pressure before we realize that we can be overwhelmed.  One needs to create strategies to counter balance all that exists outside our windows and around our environment.  A good strategy could begin by accepting where you happen to be.  Acknowledge that you are not where you may want to be ultimately, however, there should be a plan or strategy for how you will move from this stage.  Sometimes we walk through a time that tests our will and determination, while we learn something about that experience.  Never think that things cannot change, because everyday is anew and with the rising sun and early chirping of the birds outside your window, you are given a new clean slate every twenty four hours.  Think about the many instances where you found yourself in those situations that you felt were insurmountable and look at how far you have come since then.  Time can be a great ally in helping you change perspective and further grow into the person that you were meant to be.  Remember that pressures from life, work, school or family will always be there, however, it is up to you in how to face those pressures.  Greet all of it with a smile and think about the possibilities that can occur.  Don't get lost in the noise or listen to that negative voice in your head or from others.  Step forward and know that your best is yet to come.