Getting Over Things

One can contemplate over a lifetime about the things that occurred that perhaps did not go as planned and whether or not your life would have turned out differently if some things had not happened.  If you live long enough you get to experience a variety of emotions over decades that can demonstrate how life can have moments filled with exhilaration as well as those periods that can bring you to tears.  Because everyone is different, the way that people overcome hurdles is also as varied as the individual.  In my younger years I used to admire those that could easily get past things in a short matter of time, while I felt that my dilemmas and state of being were considerably longer as I felt alone on an island all by myself.  However, now there are many reasons that I enjoy being older and obtaining wisdom happens to be one of them.  With my years of living came the fortitude that taught me that all things are relative and although my mess looked incredibly complicated, there was somebody that would be willing take over my troubles as they were still better than someone else's plight.  I also learned that my attitude could determine how long I was going to live in a pity-party state of mind or move on to enjoy the rest of my life.  None of us are immune to any tumultuous periods, however, we can be the hand to someone else who may need it, as somebody may have helped us along our own journey as well.  In retrospect all the challenging periods that I have gone through, I see as a great book filled with life lessons.  With time I have felt that I have been quicker to recognize the lesson being presented and to be still in the moment rather than over-thinking a multitude of solutions that had nothing to do with the lesson.  I saw a simple sign last week and it stated "get over it".  Three words that are usually easier said than done, however, with plenty of practice you can learn to exercise your mental muscle that will enable you to get through things more quickly.  None of us can spare more time dedicated to things that weigh us down and do not move us forward.  Ideally we should strive to enjoy our lives on a daily basis and take in all the great moments that make up the day.  Be appreciative of all that you have learned thus far and give yourself permission to move forward as quickly as possible when you hit a speed bump.  One can never fully avoid the experience of certain things, however, when you realize how lucky you are and how much you have to be grateful for, those challenging instances will carry less importance while you grow into more of your true self with more peace of mind.    

Being Kind

Today I am sharing my column that will be published next month.  

Inventing Your Life

“Being Kind”

By

Rob Claudio

I ran across a good article recently that spoke about seven personality traits of a great leader.  They were all very good and in a future column, I will dedicate some time to talking about some of those leadership attributes.  However, I wanted to concentrate on one particular trait that spoke to being kind.  First, I must begin by saying that I find kindness to not be a sign of weakness, as it shows great strength in approaching things from an intentionally good perspective.  I find that not being kind can be an easy way out for some, as it highlights a lack of engagement in others along with demonstrating some less than admirable qualities.  If you were to think about the images that come to mind when focusing on a kind person that you know, more than likely the images that you would conjure up would be those of a happy nature.  When I think of someone who is kind, I usually immediately smile as it changes my sense of being almost instantly.  There have been some great leaders in all walks of life that have exhibited kindness, who were among the most impactful and influential people in the world.  There have been people that changed the course of history by how they led and were able to impart their vision on others, via their kind actions and words.  In the world of sports, you also have some great coaches that have shown that kindness can be an attribute of a winning Super Bowl team or the head of the number one collegiate basketball program in the nation multiple years in a row.  The great John Wooden and Tony Dungy come to mind as great coaches, however, there are many other shining examples out there.  What I have found during the course of my lifetime is that you do not want to treat others differently than you would like to be treated, which goes back to the ultimate golden rule.  We should be treating people with honesty and respect, while expecting the same from others.  What I have also noticed is the change of this in our own society, as you see television and film depicting protagonists who show very little of this quality and yet are elevated to superstar status.  When I was flipping through television channels recently, I saw a lot of reality television programs that highlighted constant fighting and considerable amounts of disrespect directed towards their peers. Personally I think we need to aspire to higher standards among ourselves and what we demand from the media, however, that too is a topic for a different day.  I believe that we should strive to be kind on a constant basis, as we are the living examples of our future generations of folks that will either learn from our good traits or expand on those that are not.  Remember that kindness is its own unique strength and can be the foundation for how you live a more purposeful life existence.  When we are no longer existing in the present life, hopefully in the much distant future, I bet that everyone would want to be remembered for many good and admirable qualities that they left behind.  As the authors of our own life we are the ones who determine what our legacy will be and whether we choose kindness to be written at the top of that list.               

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it”.

-Winston Churchill

Unconditional Love

When we give something it is considered a selfless act among people, where they receive some joy and satisfaction from seeing someone else feel good as a result.  It is interesting to look back at oneself, especially in the younger years of life and how giving may have had a different definition for you.  I can recall my childhood years and my biggest example of giving which I have said many times was my grandmother or "Nana" as I called her my entire life.  She was the best example in demonstrating how giving came with no strings attached.  However, I did not learn the true nature of this lesson until many years later as an adult.  When you see that someone comes from a pure place to give not only of themselves, but of their own hard work that may not have been much to begin with, it can change you forever.  I also recall other examples of going to a birthday party and that we had to buy a gift that was of equal value to the one we received at our own event previously.  It was the polite thing to do, however, this type of giving was a little more ego centered as opposed to coming from that pure place.  I was a good observer of all this and yet it still took many years for me to realize the true nature of these lessons.  When I think about those people that have given an organ in order to save the life of someone else, that type of giving is so monumental that it stands at the highest level of providing for somebody else.  What I have seen in my life with regards to individuals who come down with a life threatening illness, is that not everyone gets to have the second chance that everyone hopes for.  Then time marches on and we are able to see the gifts that were left behind by those that are no longer with us, with a much different perspective along with attributing a higher value to those meaningful contributions.  In my current state of being I see that giving should come as natural as any other reflex, as part of our existence is to help others that may need it.  Interestingly, I find that the joy in giving now is much greater and the residual effects last even longer.  As we celebrate Mother's Day today, I think it is a great day to celebrate those that gave us life along with those that played a motherly role in our lives.  When you think about an unconditional mother's love and the many sacrifices that they endure for their children, it reaffirms that those chosen to play this role are among the most special people in this world.  If you are lucky enough to still have your mother living, then ensure that you communicate your appreciation in a sincere and thoughtful way.  For those individuals whose mother is no longer here, then use this day to honor her through your wonderful memories and the great legacy that she left behind.  

Green Blades Of Grass

I was watching an interview this week with Good Morning America's Robin Roberts who was promoting her new book.  The essence of which is that everybody is going through something at any given time.  A poignant moment in the interview turned to her speaking about her mother and she had told her once that if everyone through their personal issues into a pile, chances were that you would pick up your own again after seeing what everyone else had.  I thought about that for quite a while as it made absolute sense to me.  We have all heard of the saying, "the grass is always greener" and usually it alludes to things being better someplace else.  Well the truth is that our grass is quite green if you think about it long enough and much of that perspective begins with what colors you see in your own blades of grass.  A lot of people think about their lives and they look at what might be missing a bit more than concentrating on what is already there.  For me, I begin everyday with the fact that I am still here, have good health, people that care about me and a place to call home.  After that everything thing else is a layer of good that can keep building on that basic foundation.  Sure I could list things that I would like added to my life, home or immediate surroundings, however, I believe that things come to you right when you need them.  It took some time to develop that muscle internally that allows me to not put pressure on the unknown.  Through reading many books, listening to different lectures along with meditation and prayer, I feel that I am at a much different place these days.  I strive as much as I can to achieve balance and although I am dedicated to my work, I can also say that I am dedicated to my leisure time that helps replenish my energy.  When thinking about other people and what they are going through, whether it is from someone telling me about it or just listening to the news, there is always a quick reminder about how blessed my life really is.  We can all aspire to have new and different things in our lives that may be missing, however, it is important to remember that there is a lot of good already there.   Remember that the grass is probably already a vibrant shade of green in your own world, it just depends on where your focus is in your view of it.