Validation Comes In Interesting Forms

When one is in transition or in the midst of personal change, that period can seem to be challenging at first.  Imagine the grueling schedule of someone who is challenging themselves to have better health.  This would mean that quality food choices, exercise and an overall healthy environment all come with that package.  It can take quite a while to change the habits that were created over so many years that aided to one's current state.  There are many instances when one begins a new regime of sorts, where discomfort is more the norm, before results start showing you that you are indeed headed on the right path.  I find this topic always interesting to me, as I continue to be challenged in the area of sustainability of a healthy lifestyle.  For the most part the changes have been occurring and although the results are not immediate, I do feel that I am headed in the right direction.  What I find almost funny is the way that accountability works when you choose to make such changes.  For me, I always run into people that see me walking along a hill near where I live. I have had people at a grocery store tell me to keep it up, as they have seen me on more than one occasion.  Then I have others who I sometimes run into while on my path, that stop to tell me that I am doing well and also to keep it up.  This has happened so many times now, that I cannot keep track anymore.  The latest was this morning when at the checkout stand at a local store the cashier told me she saw me walking earlier today.  I believe that these karmic situations of validation, is the energy of what I have put forth that is returning to me and telling me via these individuals that I need to keep it up.  Some days it is not so easy and sometimes my thoughts gravitate towards the possibility of waiving my exercise routine for the day.  Then low and behold, I recall these people who have crossed my path and then I almost feel guilty in that I do not want to disappoint any of them if I should run into them in the near future.  It is amazing that if it were left up to me, I could disappoint myself without any problem or hesitation.  However, the moment that you bring in other people that I now have some type of responsibility to, then it all changes.  I simply accept that these individuals who periodically validate my behavior are part of what I have set into place. I am aware more than ever that I must continue and complete what I set out to do.  I may not get there as quickly as I would want to, however, I feel that the destination has been programmed and it will be a matter of time before I arrive at that destination.  When you set goals for yourself that reflect transformation, look for those beacons of light that will be placed in your path to validate that you are indeed headed in the right direction.  

Awakening; Always Do Your Best

In watching an interview with Don Miguel Ruiz, who is the author of the world renowned novel, "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom", and I was reminded about how I felt the first time I read that book many years ago. I recall going to a training session that had as a foundation many of the principles addressed in the book.  This session made such an impact on me, that it actually ended up changing how I would proceed with my life along with my career in management thereafter. I learned so many things in that seminar, that I ended up replicating a lot of it and turning around to teach my own staff afterwards, as I wanted them to reach towards being their best in their everyday life.  This was a very big concept to take on, in that being your best is actually a lot of work all the time.  At first, it is more work than it is after you have adopted that principle.  However, like all things if you want to reap the benefits of hard work, you must do the work first before you see such an outcome.  According to the book, "Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret."  Again more powerful and truthful words about what it means to be in this state.  It is true that because time changes and you change along with it, that the meaning of this also fluctuates in where you happen to be in life.  At the core, it is a very simple principle in that you have control in what you do and whether they are small or large actions, you are ultimately responsible and will be the benefactor of what you produce.  This is why when I talk about changing for the better, it is always the small steps and the things that you do when nobody is looking that take on such importance.  At the end of the day, you are not accountable to your parents (unless you are a minor), your spouse, children or other loved ones.  You are ultimately accountable to yourself for all of the choices that you decided to make along the way in your life.  A real key here is to look out for those choices that you make even after you have had a lesson that should have taught you how to proceed differently in the future.  I can own up to these tough lessons that I ended up repeating as a result of my own lack of acknowledgement of what they were trying to teach me the first time.  Perhaps you happen to be in that stage of your life when you are reflecting about your choices that got you to this place and contemplating on your future selections you will be making to take you on the course of the rest of your life's voyage.  When you do your best even when nobody is looking, you will most likely feel at peace with what you have accomplished, as there is no better test for this self actualization.  The rest of this great book offers many other great teachings that would benefit anyone no matter where they are in life, therefore I highly recommend it.  The best part about making conscience decisions is that you will arrive at an awakening of sorts, as the book implies.  This awakening is what many would consider moments of enlightenment, as it is the place where your body and soul meet to compliment each other in validating where you are in your existence.  It is an amazing feeling to know that doing your best, no matter how small can have such a significant impact on your life.  Remember that if you strive to live in this manner you will reap the many benefits that come with awakening to this part of your being.

Ninety Nine Days Of A Life

I was watching a program that was doing follow up on particular individuals that had made an impact to others.  Through the course of this interview, they highlighted a mother and father of a young child that was born with substantial disabilities and as a result had very little prospects for living.  Although the situation was quite grave from the beginning of this young child's life, the parents decided that every day that their child was alive would be celebrated in their own way.  The father began making a video diary and would speak to his child about how old he was on that day.  He would proceed to speak about the many wonderful things that existed in the world outside of the hospital that his child was confined to and offered beautiful descriptions of what those were.  The young baby boy lived far beyond his original expectations and managed to survive for a total of ninety nine days, before it was time for him to be free of the unhealthy body he had to contend with while he was alive.  I was mesmerized by the story as I am sure many people were.  I could not fathom the prospect of bringing a new life into existence only to be told at the onset that their time would be almost non-existent.  What was extraordinary in this story was the attitude and resilience that was showcased by these strong parents who were faced with such monumental circumstances. Their decision to celebrate in the midst of what was occurring, I am sure was part of the reason that their child outlived the given by his doctors.  Although their child is no longer present, the many things that they learned about themselves in those ninety nine days was a lesson of a lifetime.  In addition, their plight is now something that many other people can use as an example of what to do in the face of such a trying experience. Many of us have far surpassed the ninety nine day mark as it relates to our lives and the question then becomes what is our own legacy to others that we could share about our own great experiences?  We all have lived through our own share of situations that may have shaken us to the core.  I believe that part of our duty of surviving such things is to share with others how we got through those and to be a beacon of light to those that need it.  The next time you find yourself feeling like a victim of your circumstance, remember the story of those ninety nine days and that young child that made such an impact to so many in such a short period of time.  Once you put things into perspective, you will find that it is only a matter of time before you carve your way out of that darkness and into a more sunnier existence.  Perhaps with a little help or entirely on your own, either way you then become the great example for others to follow.

Lemons and Lemonade

Sometimes things don't always go according to plan.  Although one plans for those inevitable instances when they have to summon up some courage that was tucked away for that cold and rainy day, it can always be a disorienting experience.  For starters, we all know that life may not always appear to be fair. However, it is the attitude which one brings to those instances of potential unfairness that can transcend a person from who they were, to they were meant to be.  When you hear about good people that end up fighting a terrible illness, or someone that has had a tough life continue to navigate more storms than they should have, it can be easy to look up and wonder, why?  None of us never know the immediate answer to the question of why, yet, what I have learned from experience is that we are taught certain things in order to continue to graduate among the various stages in life.  This can be a hard thing to understand especially when you hear of a tragic consequence that may eliminate the life of someone unexpectedly.  The question of why can creep into anyone's immediate thoughts shortly thereafter and for some time to come.  Perhaps it is a situation that may be so unimaginable that it can cause feelings of disappointment towards someone that was close to you.  Since imperfection is part of being human, then we should always be reminded that we too are this and reserving judgement for someone perhaps is not our job.  Remember that life is also too short and for many that have survived those unexpected losses, they can attest to this fact.  When I went away to college, I remember having a session with some transition counselors and they gave a group of us new students a talk about turning lemons into lemonade.  In their own meaningful way, they taught me a lesson about how things don't always go your way.  What was important about those instances is that you had to look for the opportunity to turn the sour instance of the moment and somehow figure out how that could be lemonade at the end of the day. I have never forgotten about the lesson I was taught and over time in my adult life, I have had that opportunity to make such a decision about having a bushel of lemons at times.  For those of you who may find yourself in that situation where lemons appear to be the fruit of the day, consider the opportunity that lies in that circumstance.  Begin by counting your blessings and the other things in your life that are working positively.  Build upon the momentum of those thoughts and consider how far you have come in life where you can remember a younger version of you, who has now matured and is capable of so much more.  Finally, think about what you have learned in the process and always remember that as humans we need to never forget to have empathy and compassion towards others.  We never know when we may be faced with our own obstacles, that can elicit unwanted judgement ourselves.  Think about what is truly important in your life and when you consider the magnitude of life and death situations, does yours fall into those grave categories?  Hopefully the answer is no, which will then allow for you to walk forward from the place that you happen to find yourself in.  Just remember that lemonade can be sweet and refreshing and it all begins with a good number of sour fruit.

In Between Your First And Last Breath

I was watching an interview with the renowned spiritual leader Deepak Chopra and he was discussing meditation.  When he discussed the importance of breathing during the meditative state, I was struck by what he said with regards to the importance of taking a breath.  He reminded people that when we arrive into this world, we arrive with one large breath of air, which is usually followed by a loud cry.  Then as we exit this world, when we die, we leave after taking one final breath as well.  I never thought about the first and last breath concept, however, it definitely made me think about it for a few days.  To think that the same physical thing is bound to a person upon being born or leaving this earth is kind of mind blowing.  The other thought I had shortly thereafter is that when people are born, it is in a hospital (usually) and a good amount of folks that pass on, also occurs at the same place.  The more I thought about this, the more I thought about what happens in between those two defining moments.  Our life is played out in between those two majestic breaths that act as bookends to our entire existence.  When we think back in our life at certain periods we can reflect on what we did and sometimes what we would do differently.  Experience can show us almost a third dimension view of how to proceed with a particular matter, that a younger version of ourselves would not.  I am sure that a scientist or a mathematician has already looked into the formula that would tell us how many total breaths one would take in an average life.  What I suggest to everyone is to not be bogged down by the math that is associated with this concept, rather think about the remaining breaths that you still have left.  We would all be better off if we were to set out to live our best life and the ability to strive for that goal, should be part of our daily quest.  As one gets older, the realization that one is not going to be here forever slowly creeps into your thinking with a bit more frequency.  Hence, we should all be willing to make our remaining breaths be filled with all of the things that will bring happiness, health, compassion and joy to us and those around us.   The next time you take a large breath as you wake up in the morning, think about the importance of what it means to still be breathing and what you will do with the remainder of these breaths along with the legacy that you wish to leave behind.  

Patience And Consistent Behavior

Many topics of conversation are begun by using social media these days.  When someone posts something that they found interesting it can come in the form of a picture, video or perhaps a written article.  There is an immediate connection that comes with this occurrence in that a multitude of people will see what you want them to see at the same time.  I was thinking about this as it relates to where we are in our own life's journey.  Similar to headline news items that catch our eye, only those that appeal to us make us read a bit further.  Yet, in most of the cases surrounding everyday living, much of happens daily may not necessarily be newsworthy to you.  Interestingly, what is mundane to some may be exciting to others. I usually spend a good amount of time looking for a story that has a positive twist, which may be worth sharing with someone else.  Over time what I have noticed is that my energy in attempting to seek these stories, has created a magnetic pull that allows for these to gravitate towards me more often than not.  I find those instances of discovery to be so fulfilling, that I keep them as a reminder of what is possible when you put forth the energy to seek certain things.   Whether you are at a period of your life that is making you question your existence or simply in a state of stagnation, the answer always lies in what will motivate you to go in a different direction.  When you put effort into something, it can mean that there is consistency behind the energy to do this, yet, not necessarily with immediate results.  There have been many periods in my life where I thought that some things should have been moving much further along than they were.  In retrospect, I learned that there is much to be learned by having patience along with consistent behavior.  When you think about the obvious with regards to the question of losing weight, people want a miracle cure, pill or other quick fix.  The fact is, that it took quite a long time to put the weight on and therefore it will take some effort to undo the damage.  Not exactly what people want to hear, including myself at times, however, it is what it is.  As you calculate your next steps towards achieving your next goal, consider the behavior that you would want to model publicly, along with the consistency that is needed to carry it out.  It may be uncomfortable in the beginning, but with a bit of time you should find yourself cruising along while you obtain your desired results.

Don't Let Your Ego Get In The Way Of Success

In listening to a discussion a couple of days ago, I was reminded in the midst of that conversation about letting go of being right and simply doing things for the right reason.  We can certainly be our own biggest obstacles when it comes to achievement towards our success, especially when we allow ourselves to be led by the wrong motives.  Our ego has a mind of its own and if we let it lead us down a wrong path, we can end up paying the consequences for actions that were not well thought out.  The author Eckhart Tolle writes very eloquently about this subject in his book, "A New Earth".  I have referred to that book many times as I periodically need reminding about what was truly important and what was just my ego wanting to take center stage.  When we focus on things that are ego driven, we lose sight of the many other good qualities that is in our make up.  Being humble, respectful and thoughtful are among those things that quickly leave our grasp.  There is the you that everyone sees and hears, while there is also the you that looks back at you in the mirror every morning.  The goal in life should be to have the you of the outside world be the same as the you that wakes up and is reflected in your inside world.  In my own journey, I have learned to ask those poignant questions of myself when something is truly bothering me.  Is this really about this issue or is it more about how this makes me look?  Does my conscience bother me about a particular decision or the way that I acted and if so, then what is it that I need to adjust to get rid of having that feeling?  These are just some of the things that run through my own mind when similar to the feeling of finding that pebble that seems to be stuck in a shoe reveals that sense of discomfort.  In my world, it does not take very long for things to surface before I realize that I myself may need my own attitude adjustment when things begin to bother me longer than they should.  Success can be impeded by the fact that you put your ego first without having the right priorities.  The next time you have an uncomfortable feeling after an exchange with someone at work or home make sure that you check the motives behind your decision making.  Drop your ego off at the next exit of your life's highway and propel yourself forward as you say goodbye to something that needed to be left behind many years ago.    

Tough Topics And Social Media

I read an article about a reporter from National Public Radio (NPR) who was using Twitter as a mechanism to communicate to his followers what he was feeling, as he sat next to his mother during the last days of her life.  During the series of days that are now memorialized via his tweets to his followers, there were melancholy moments along with some bitter sweet periods of vulnerability when one realizes that this part of life is something that one has no control over.  When I read through the article, I could understand the need for someone to reach out to anyone who may have gone through the same journey and seek a sense of camaraderie or support.  In reading what the public and others in the media were discussing during and afterwards, it appeared that there was a lot positive and negative feedback.  Some folks found his messages to be too disturbing and especially those that had gone through something similar not too long ago.  Others found what he wrote to have been courageous in the midst of such trying circumstances.  I too have experienced losing people close to me during my life time, however, when those periods occurred it was during a different time when social media was not as prevalent as it is today.  Now the world of people that follow you via Twitter or Facebook along with any other social media platform provides an immediate audience that quickly responds to something that connects to another individual.  I would probably gravitate to the use of social media outlets as a way to obtain support or connect to another person in similar circumstances.  I can also understand that others find these instances of humanity to be so personal that the thought of using a mechanism such as social media can lend itself to a possible trivialization of the situation.  If the world has evolved on how we communicate, then it is also my belief that the acceptable means by which we use them should be as varied as the individual.  Going through a loss of a loved one is always among the most difficult things that one has to endure. Therefore if a mechanism is in place that can allow one to grieve or find comfort and support among a community of individuals, then it should be an allowable venue for those that need it.  I am not sure what the world will be like in fifty years from now, however, I suspect that technology will play an even bigger role in how we function.  If there are tough topics to contend with and there are tools that can be used to address them, then perhaps our evolution will proceed accordingly.