Viewpoint

Today I am sharing an column that will be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Viewpoint”

By

Rob Claudio

Although many of us can be very good at calculating how we want things to manifest in our lives as we grow older, life has a funny way of derailing us at times when our best laid plans sometimes end up being just that.  I am sure that many of us can offer our own best advice to others as to how we would handle a problem or issue differently, now that we have the experience behind us.  I think of the movie Groundhog Day and how Bill Murray got the chance to do things differently every morning that he kept waking up on the same day, yet, he persisted on committing some of the same errors day-in and day-out without correcting some of his ways.  I know that we would be baffled if we had our own Groundhog Day to deal with, however, I would also hope that we would make better decisions when presented with circumstances that we had seen previously.  Remember that our life experiences can prove to be our best ammunition at handling any particular situation.  Whether it is a person or a circumstance that just stumps you with what to do next, one of the best ways to deal with that is first and foremost to change your own perspective.  This usually ends up meaning that we are the ones that ultimately have to change and not the other way around.  I know that it is ironic to think this way, since we don’t usually think of ourselves as the one with the problem or issue.  Remember that perspective and having a different view, can change the entire dynamics of anything in a heart-beat.  Perhaps you find yourself in a situation where you believe that you have exhausted all possibilities and see no immediate relief in sight.  Well think about the fact that as each day passes, if there is no hope that accompanies that situation, it can ultimately leave you feeling as if you are sinking and not moving forward.  Hope is so important because it can provide you with the strength you need to carry on and it also helps you with vision towards the day when things can actually change for the better.  I know that many of us can think of someone we know or have come across where we could see that hope was not evident in their view of things and that particular look on someone’s face can make a lasting impression on anyone.  In my own experience, I have learned that those who are closest to us tend to not take any advice from us, because of the proximity of our relationship which adds to the issue.  I can remember when I gave some repeated words of advice to a family member and it would go in one ear and out the other.  Fast forward to many years later and I come to find out that they listened to those same words that came from someone else, that was not related or particularly close to them.  Ultimately, they also gave credit for their resolution to that other individual and you then wonder about the selective memory that they now have.  Does this sound familiar?  I know it is one of those interesting moments that we all experience at some point in our lives.  Hence our best work is usually accomplished through our impact with others and interestingly not directly in our own immediate families or inner circle.  In fact, your view of things can be altered, unclear or even unknown at any given time.  What matters is that you do not give up on what you want to see as the ultimate result in your life.  One must keep reaching for their goals and it is also important to keep dreaming, as life would be quite boring without either.  Although we may not be quite sure of when things can take a turn for the better, it is very important to remember that at some point they will and it can happen as quickly as changing your mind and viewpoint.  The combination of hope plus goals and dreams, can provide for the right perspective of things to come, as long as you realize that it can only occur with your permission.          

“There are things I can't force. I must adjust. There are times when the greatest change needed is a change of my viewpoint.”

-Denis Diderot

The Clearing Ahead

Another winter storm just passed and although, our weather in California is nothing like the extreme conditions in other parts of the country or the rest of the world, I always appreciate the feeling a brand new day when the sun comes out after it passes by.  I love the effect of having a storm wash away all the dust and dirt on the surface of the ground, to a clean new refreshed platform that will allow you to begin the day anew.  I think we have all seen signs about how there is always a silver lining after a storm, however, nothing like being a first hand witness when this occurs.  Personally, I know that the rains will create a wonderful landscape in the days ahead, by playing a huge part in how our spring flowers and new growth will be displayed for our eyes to feast on.  Just this past week, there were marvelous pictures coming out of Death Valley, where nature enthusiasts were flocking to see a colorful burst of wild flowers blooming where typically nothing usually does.  Having looked at that picture earlier reminded me that even when someone has labeled a place that begins with the word "death",  it is not defined by such a word and can hold beauty for many people and our God who created it.  A tired old piece of land that may be withering away in the middle of nowhere can instantly turn a corner and show the world that the soil beneath it is full of life and was just waiting to be awakened.  I personally think about us as human beings that may be having our own issues which can be of a personal nature and sometimes they become so overwhelming that we forget that things can change with the dawning of a new day.  Whether it was a light rain or a vast storm that was filled with thunder and lightning, they all pass through and leave refreshing hope alive.  It is interesting to note that people can be helpful in trying to make you change your demeanor, especially when one is feeling low, as they simply have your best interest in mind. However, our own human nature can be our own worst enemy in being adamant about solving a problem ourselves and not letting others help.  Sometimes we become so overwhelmed that we forget to listen to the words of wisdom that may be coming our way.  Remember that a strong storm will be able to capture our attention for enough time that it can shift our view of things and help us forget about something temporarily, which can be a great reminder about our own personal circumstances.  When we finally realize that there is something much greater than us and we are simply in the midst of a journey, we should be able to find some peace about those dilemmas that can take our attention and joy away.  Remember that nothing is forever and especially if you are going through any type of difficulty, look for the clearing that is coming ahead.

Eliminating Biased Thinking

Many people can struggle with being confident about one thing or another during their lifetimes.  I think very few individuals can honestly say that they have never had these issues, as we all contend with a variety of things as we grow older.  I also believe that people have their own genuine strengths about them, that enables their confidence and self esteem.  People can have a positive outlook about their looks, intelligence, command over a certain language or any other number of things that can be lacking in others.  Interestingly, most children who are not old enough to understand whether they can or cannot do something, tend to emit lots of self confidence because they have no understanding about limitations at a young age.  Then as they grow older they become more vulnerable because of the exposure to other people's thinking, that can cause a lack of belief in themselves.  I often think about how much we could have benefited in our lives if we had kept more of that youthful approach in our ability to do all things.  Children do not know the difference in races or understand social issues that deal with equity for all, for them everyone is the same.  I think our world could be so much better if we had never been tainted in our beliefs otherwise. Whether it is the circumstances in the surroundings of a child along with exposure to limited thinking, the recipe for losing the belief in oneself can be found in some of these grounding moments.  The long term ramifications can last a lifetime, when you realize that adults suffer from things that happened to them as a child and they never really addressed them as they grew older.   There are many people in their adult years, that still have not addressed something that is keeping them from their own self realization.  I know when I think back to my own childhood I initially thought that boys and girls were equals, however, soon I realized that just the treatment of a boy at home by their female nurturers can change they whole dynamic.  I came from a Mexican culture that placed a higher value on males and although I did not necessarily understand it, I just accepted it as part of my life.  I also know that in many cultures, having a male child is a sought after goal for many families, as it can predetermine what type of opportunities will exist for that child as they grow up, versus those who are female.  Although many of us believe that in our progressive world, this should not be occurring at this day and time, yet, it does and as result we still have to contend with preferential treatment over one gender versus another.  The result of this slanted view has caused activists to be born out of desperation for change that is needed to occur in those situations and more importantly, because tolerance over such issues could no longer be acceptable.  Our globe around the world seems to be changing at a rapid pace and social media brings many more people together than ever before, yet, we still have a ways to go when we realize that our views are still not as progressive as we might think.  I am always hopeful that the next generation of people will have solved some of these great dilemmas and one day, our world will be filled with talent and beauty that spans all cultures and genders.  Until then, I will continue to do my best to educate myself and those around me, so that we can foster the type of environment that will enable growth and prosperity among the future generations to come.

When Nature Looks Back

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

"When Nature Looks Back"

By

Rob Claudio

I often have experiences when in the outdoors I run into things that captivate my attention or sometimes what I am looking at makes such an impact, that it provides me with the opportunity to reflect more deeply.  A few days ago after sweeping up some fallen leaves in my patio, I walked back into my living room to take a break.  As I sat there looking outside, I noticed next to my hummingbird feeder that there was a colorful hummingbird with streaks of red and green, sitting on the hanging outdoor patio lights.  At first I thought it was going to be a few seconds before the colorful bird would quickly hover above and take off to other sights nearby, as this is their normal pattern.  However, after sitting there for several minutes I noticed that it would flip its little head back and forth and continued to just sit there and was looking back at me through the glass door.  I have been around these birds long enough to know that they usually zip in and out in a flash and rarely stop for any sustained period of time.  For me it was one of those moments that made me appreciate nature at its finest and then made me think even deeper, as I thought about how nature can take its moments to check in and look back at us.  I am personally in awe sometimes when I am out in the fresh air and run into majestic trees that seem to offer a step ladder towards the sky, or in other instances it can be the display of multiple flowers in a garden or on a path, that paint such beautiful scenery that you believe that it should be part of a portrait hanging in one of the world’s most prestigious galleries.  It is a great gift when one realizes how nature interacts with us if we become observant enough and open our eyes beyond what is immediately in our view.  Think about the times when you are at a beach and can feel the strength in the ocean waves that come crashing close to you.  In those instances, not only can you feel the force behind the endless water horizon in front of you, if you think a bit longer about all of the living creatures in the ocean that make this their home, you can appreciate even further why we must do our best in protecting such precious resources.  For another opportunity to experience nature looking back at you, you should take a whale watching trip or any other boat excursion that can bring you that much closer to the wonders that exist in our living waters that surround us.  Depending on your preference, whether it is water, desert or mountains high up above, there is plenty of beauty in our landscapes that can take your breath away.  Ultimately, we should never forget that we owe our future generations the same opportunity afforded to us as part of our existence while on this great earth.  Even if you think you may be doing something that can be perceived as insignificant to helping preserve our natural resources, do it anyway.  Whether it is recycling, the use of less chemicals with toxins in them or biodegradable materials, you can choose what your contribution can be.  Not only is it the right thing to do, it is our obligation as part of our future legacy.  The next time you are out and about on a clear sunny day or a crisp moonlit night, open your eyes, diminish the thoughts that may be roaming through your head and simply smile and take in the natural beauty that exists where you happen to be.  Appreciate that all of nature was created to make your life experience that much more meaningful and think about how you would want nature to be looking back at you with pride in knowing that you took time to care for it in return.   

 

“On earth there is no heaven, but there are pieces of it.”
-Jules Renard

The New You

There are plenty of commercials on any type of media these days that tell you how the New Year can be your catalyst to needed changes in your life.  From the traditional gym membership offerings to the need to start a new career that you have been longing for, it is all part of the package that is offered to everyone who aspires to make changes in 2016.  I saw a motivational message that stated that you have to let go of who you were, so that you can become who you will be.  Personally, I love all of these messages daily, not just once a year, because I am a firm believer that change can happen at any moment at any stage of your life.  Although there are more messages at this time of year that remind us of that, I think that since we are always transitioning into the newer version of us, as age and time on earth create that environment for us to realize that we can not stay the same for too long.  Also important to note is that if you change your attitude or perspective about how you proceed with aging, then it can be used to your advantage.  Many folks tend to resist change and when it comes to their personal look or appearance there is even more apprehension that surrounds any potential transition.  Since we are in a constant state of evolution, I believe that we should embrace each day with a welcoming perspective that it will bring us a new evolution that will ultimately be for our own good.  A key concept is to maintain acceptance with being okay with letting certain things go and although this may make you feel uncomfortable, acknowledging the feelings it brings is one thing, but not being defined by them is another.  Think about the many flowers that are in hibernation and are pending to bloom in the coming months.  The existing structure in a plant may look quite different between now and the coming months, yet there is going to be a change that will look brilliant and create a spectacular site.  We can certainly emulate some of that pending change by looking in the mirror and determining that this is the current version of ourselves, however, the newer and upgraded version is on its way.  Remember that change is best when it is done incrementally and that each day we can do something towards getting to that ultimate goal.  When 2017 rolls up on you in about twelve months from now, just think about the wonderful opportunity you will have in greeting it with the best and newest version of yourself.  In addition, acknowledge that the new you is in a constant state of transition and looking ahead you can define what that means to you, as you show the world the best version of  yourself in the years to come.

Reuniting For The Holidays

Usually when we get together for the holidays, we end  up seeing people that we have not been in touch with for a considerable amount of time.  Whether it is family, friends or acquaintances, there is always a mix of people that we are connected to, yet are not necessarily part of their everyday lives.  This is why I enjoy the holidays as it reminds me that I have so many of these individuals that deserve some time out of my schedule, that they enable me to slow down and be present in catching up through a friendly conversation or a nice meal.  Through out the world, this is a common custom where people travel to see their loved ones on special occasions to be part of memorable and joyous moments that are captured in time.  I often wonder about the amount of times that we get each year that we take for in expecting these reunions to occur without the thought that someone may not be there the next time?  If you ask a person who lost someone near and dear to them, they can almost always tell you when the last time they spoke and saw that special person, with fine detail and recollection.  I think it is something that we all cling to in that we always want to remember every bit of detail associated with our last encounter with the special people in our lives, that makes us want to savor every moment so that our memories have the most comprehensive picture associated with those individuals.  I always remember a film some time ago, that captured the relationship of two people, through the course of weddings and funerals, which was where these people always ended up seeing other.  In our own lives we also have those instances when we think about the people in our lives that we long to see, yet time and distance is sometimes a living hurdle that prevents us from connecting on a more frequent basis.  I also know that as we age, we come to realize the importance of all moments in our lives that we want to capture when we are far from these individuals that we want to see.  The mental snapshots of these encounters are forever framed in our minds as we joyfully recall all of them when we have a need for a smile or laugh.  Every year when we get to a marked holiday, we can look back to see how many of our special people are no longer with us and it can make us think a little deeper about the many opportunities that we wished we had back.  Whether it is a small informal gathering or a marked formal occasion, I wish for all of you to realize that your memories and archives of these special moments are completely unique and you will never be able to go back to recreate any of them.  All things are new everyday and the opportunity to spend time with those that are closest to you, has an expiration date.  As a result, be purposeful in ensuring that you are making time to spend with all of the special people in your life and even if it is not a holiday, do your best to carve out these reunions so that you can never say to yourself that you wished you had more time or were able to do things differently.  Having no regrets about how you lived your life is the ultimate goal and being able to celebrate your living moments with those that bring a smile to your face and a feeling of joy is just icing on the cake.

Reinvention

I had to re-boot my computer the other day and as easy as it was to hit control+Alt+delete to initiate the process, I thought about how useful this command would be to us as humans and have a similar feature that we could all access whenever it was needed.  The process of reinvention is one of my favorite topics, because I firmly believe that we all have that capability at any given time in our lives.  The issue has always been finding the catalyst to motivate us to proceed.  It is such a popular topic these days that we now we have shows that highlight stories that deal with people's issues regarding addictions to food, alcohol, drugs or even the transformation of a home.  Through the course of an hour on television, we can participate as an active observant to see what it takes for someone to go through an incredible change.  At the core of all of these stories are issues that are deep rooted within causing a negative reaction that can cause people to abuse any number of things.  Those are extreme examples, however, there are also plenty of other non-extreme cases that are just as pivotal in the need to reboot.  Some folks deal with complacency in their lives, where everything appears to be the same and routine, while in the inside of some of these individuals are screaming to get out of their comfort zone.  There are plenty of people in the world that end long term relationships and marriages because they grew apart and at some point in their journey together and the rebooting function for them no longer worked.  For all of us human beings there is no simplicity associated with hitting a reset command within us in order to snap out of something and transform to another level that we long for.  The reality for us is that we must make the reinvention process a daily occurrence, with special attention to the small details of ensuring that we do so with long term consistency.  The formula is always the same, if you want to change then be resolved to do so with follow up steps afterwards in order to achieve your desired goal.  Think of a marathon runner and the amount of daily training that they have undergone in order to achieve that level of sustained capability, that allows them to run over twenty miles without stopping. We can all surmise that it took plenty of time, discipline and persistence in order to achieve that level of performance.  With this same type of approach our own reinvention can take place if one is resolute to attaining such a change.  The good news is that there is such a rebooting command that we all carry, we just need to work on finding the impetus that will allow us to realize that we can initiate that function at the time that we need it most.  Much like getting into better shape will require a regimen in order to achieve desired results, we must also develop that drive in order to be successful in our reinvention.  The opportunity to change is always there, so we must realize that our own free will is the only thing that stands in our way.  Regardless of where you happen to be in your life today know that you, as the author of your own life, can write the type of story you wish for yourself.  In particular, you can write the happy ending that you have always wished for and deserve.  Just be resolved to change, take small steps daily, set a strategy to reach your goal and surround yourself with great support so that your own harmonious being will be the end result of the transformation you desire.