Reflective Checkup

Today I am sharing a soon to be published column next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Reflective Checkup”

By

Rob Claudio

We all come across plenty of opportunities that lend themselves to our ability to check-in with ourselves, to see if this is the direction that we want to continue to go in our life’s journey.  Whether it is a life change that occurs with very little notice, a feeling of stagnation or some other unforeseen circumstance, we are presented multiple opportunities to do a bit of soul searching on those occasions.  I thought about how this happens to us, as I was driving around running errands a few weeks ago and I saw a light in my truck that indicated I had to service my engine soon.  I also contemplated how convenient it would be for us to have a similar light that would pop up to advise us that we need to replenish something in ourselves soon and more importantly, that we are a priority that needs some special attention. To proceed with a life checkup in this context, I would suggest to first take inventory of what is happening in your life. Make a list of the things that invoke the feeling of happiness and then also add those other items that provide you with the opposite feeling. Think about things that you should change or eliminate if the opportunity presented itself.  Your list does not have to be very long, however, you should begin to see a pattern that lends itself to either being swayed more in one direction versus the other.  It is only when you look at what you have written that you may realize how out of balance your life may be. As much as we would like to believe that our circumstances cannot change significantly due to the many responsibilities that exist in our lives, one also has to acknowledge that all facets of change do not occur by taking very large steps.  The majority of substantial reinvention can be attributed to that one moment when one finally comes to the realization that you cannot continue to live your life in the same manner, while expecting different results.  Hence, a small step taken every day can ultimately lead you down a path that can yield flourishing outcomes. All that is needed is to be resolved and have faith in yourself that you are worthy of better things and more.  I am always amazed at the many instances when I listened to or read about people that felt that there was no other alternative to their particular situation.  I almost feel heartbroken when I can sense that someone has lost the initiative or motivation to proceed with any type of change, as it reflects in their eyes whenever you meet someone like this.  I remember many years ago I had a staff person that did phenomenal work within the ex-felon community and for that individual it was part of their life’s mission to ensure that these individuals were treated with dignity and respect.  This person also made it a point to address their clients by ensuring that they looked at them straight in the eye. Listening to how the interactions with this customer group began with transforming them into thinking that they had self-worth was humbling.  It was a unique challenge to help these individuals look at others directly when speaking and avoid their tendency to simply look down.  I was enlightened and proud to hear how our staff addressed such personal and profound issues for our deserving customers. That is why I so admire people that work with others in helping them overcome their life challenges.  Providing services to people dealing with; homelessness, felony records, battered women & children, post-traumatic stress disorder or anyone in any type of a recovery program can be a considerable challenge.  In these instances there is a history that one has to address before they can actually even begin to aid in their secondary needs.  It is only in these moments when one has those deep reflections that you realize how difficult other people’s lives have been, which then offers considerable hope to one’s own circumstances.  If one revisits that list that I spoke about earlier, prioritize it and then set a timeline for achievement, one can make some significant strides towards reaching their intended goals.  I also suggest that you keep the list near you at work or at home, so that you can take moments every day to think upon your proposed end results along with what small step you made that day to get closer to your target. One can create their own automatic light sensor moments by paying attention to how you feel about your life and checking in with yourself on a periodic basis.  If your ultimate happiness and fulfillment depends upon your desired level of attainment, then take time to measure it accordingly.  Finally remember to ensure that you are reflectively checking in with yourself as you are a priority and it can also help with determining where you need to go next.