What Is Your Story?

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“What Is Your Story”

 

By

 

Rob Claudio

 

 

As I was watching a special on television a couple of weeks ago, one of the speakers of a talk show asked a guest very directly about their story and how they became famous.  The person answering the question took a long time to respond, because he relayed to the host that his story was very complicated and fame was a residual result of his primary passion, which was simply to be an actor.  The actor's long pause made me ask that same question to myself almost simultaneously, as I envisioned myself sitting in that guest chair.  I also took a long time to consider my answer as I contemplated what I would say.  First, I do know that everyone who has had the privilege of living a few decades on earth, has a choice number of stories that they could tell with regard to what they have been able to overcome through the course of their lifetime.  I have had some great mentors and wonderful friends that happen to be older than I am, which has provided me with great insight and plenty of stories that have inspired me to become a better version of myself, as a result.  I also wholeheartedly believe that I have a ways to go.  During the course of many deep conversations with people that were part of my life at one time or another, I learned that there were some very tough beginnings to people's lives, many of which could make your heart break.  One of the most inspiring stories that was shared with me, was of this individual who had to leave his country of origin because remaining there could have meant that he and his family may have lost their lives.  It was in Central America and a group of people who dismantled many established happy families were called the Sandinistas.  I remember how his story had me riveted, as he fled with very few belongings and he had to travel across many countries north, before he arrived into this country illegally at first with his older brother.  They both did not know what awaited them, after achieving this great feat of crossing several borders without losing their lives and then waiting to see when the rest of their family would be able to join them.  Although I could spend an entire blog and a half to tell you about his particular story, I will conclude by telling you that this young man who arrived here under the most dire of circumstances, ended up becoming a legal U.S. citizen, went to school and then graduated from college, while later earning a P.H.D. from a well-known university in California.  I recall that I was completely mesmerized by his story of personal accomplishment and after listening to what he was able to overcome, I felt like such an under achiever.  Although I had my own story filled with personal challenges that I have faced, it was amazing to hear another story filled with human triumph and a living example of the possibilities that came with that type of perseverance.  This is also why sometimes when I am stuck in traffic, or sitting in a waiting room or perhaps stuck in the busy lobby of an airport, the art of people watching for me becomes greatly interesting, as I begin to wonder what the story of a particular individual that I am next to might be.  No matter what your own story is, I am hopeful that you have been able to achieve many of your own personal goals in your own life and have also shown the world that you are an example of great achievement.  When given the opportunity, remember that you can always find inspiration in other people or even yourself, all you have to do is recant the story of where one began and trace what has transpired thus far.  That exercise alone can bring a smile to your face and a feeling of exhilaration when you take the time to review.  Ultimately, it may also rejuvenate your purpose as you refocus back on the path that you were meant to walk.

 

“The whole story is about you. You are the main character”. –don Miguel Ruiz

The Windshield View

I have heard the saying on more than one occasion that there is a reason a car has a very large windshield glass versus the rearview mirror, which is quite small and completely its opposite.  Over the course of reading many motivational messages, I have been reminded that my future is looking forward and as a result, should have the largest view possible.  In contrast our past has been lived and although there may be some moments that were less than pleasant or just plain difficult, the rearview mirror reminds us that looking backwards should have a view that pales in comparison to what lies ahead.  I am always glad to see a version of this message in looking at material that speaks to me, because I can never tire of being reminded about focusing on what comes next.  Having said that, we just began a brand-New Year 2018 and I am of the belief that the large windshield view, is clear and full of promise.  So many things can occur during the course of twelve months and every time I get to celebrate a new January 1st, I am also reminded of those that are no longer able to celebrate along with us, as they have ended their journey here and I have an expectation that they will await to greet us on the other side.  For me the future can be filled with optimism since we don't know what it holds in store for us, I then choose to have great expectations of the good things to come.  How those things will manifest somehow in my life is always a surprise, but nonetheless, an expected one. Within the last twelve months, I can recall some trying moments that if I focused on them, could change my perspective about the type of year I had.  More importantly, there were many more instances that were filled with happiness that I have catalogued those in my memory as they will serve me well, if I get to one of those days that needs some cheering up down the road.  When you are thinking about the possibilities that lie ahead, I hope that you do so with a smile on your face and wonderful thoughts about how life can get even better.  This thinking brought to mind how an old friend taught me to buy a lottery ticket on a routine basis.  The reason was not necessarily focused on winning the big jackpot, rather this friend of mine instead asked me what I would do with all of that money.  With her, I would contemplate for extended periods of time that we would pay off our home, or buy a new one.  The world would be our playground with this windfall as we could see many of the places that looked spectacular in magazines and on travel blogs, in person. After we finished with our dreams being said out loud, she would then tell me that this one dollar that was spent on this ticket, was the best therapy that money could buy.  I never forgot that lesson and the many smiles that have come with those purchases and to this day, I still buy a lottery ticket on a routine basis. In doing so, I smile as I think about the future and whether the windfall comes or not, I am quite happy to be in the present moment looking forward through my clear large and spotless windshield view.  As we begin what I hope will be a prosperous year for everyone ahead, I also hope that you clean off any things from your view that may not serve you anymore.  Just like a regular windshield, periodically we need to give it a good cleaning, so that we can see with better clarity at what great things lie ahead.    
 

“My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue, an everlasting vision of the ever changing view”. -Carole King

All Seasons

The weather has not felt like winter has arrived much, as we approach Christmas and snow along with other wintry weather is evident in different parts of the world.  With the  dry spells that have been filled with warm days, I kept wondering if the next season would finally make its presence known.  It also made me think about the periods of time when we expect things to occur in a certain manner and by a certain time, because it is that time of year, while sometimes things meander in a very different direction.  When I was younger, I recall that I would get impatient when my expectations were not met by a certain period of time and then disappointment would be inevitable as it would manifest itself in one form or another.  After this contemplation, I suddenly realized when having these thoughts about the season that I was really eliminating the fact that I should find joy in the present regardless.  I failed to reflect on the people across the globe, who would love to have this perceived problem of mine dealing with warmer than average weather at this time of year.  Subsequently, last Sunday morning I caught an interview that was being held in Beijing, China, where people buy roasted chestnuts on the street.  The weather appeared to be bitterly cold and most folks savored the fact that the warm bags of these famous seasonal nuts also provided added warmth to their hands as they walked outside in this harsh weather.  It was in that moment of watching this, when I had that epiphany about my lack of appreciation for the weather outside my very own window.  These folks on the other side of the world would enjoy a milder climate for sure, with less bundles of clothing and having to contend with freezing temperatures as they walk to work, school or their neighborhood store.  I am thankful for the revelation that this had in my life, just to be reminded about having appreciation for all things in all seasons and not just the ones that we clamor for.  Things don't always have to follow a certain path in order for you to enjoy the steps that are taken along the way, as it has been shown time and again that usually this can be the most joyful of experiences in one's life.  So, regardless of which is your favorite season of the year and how much you want it to arrive, be mindful and present in the current one.  What I have seen over the course of getting older, is that many folks don't necessarily make it to the following holiday season or perhaps are hoping to have just enough days of health to celebrate one last time with their families and loved ones.  The fact is that all days and seasons that come with it, should be acknowledged with gratitude, joy and some humility, as we need to count our blessings to have made it past another milestone time of year.

Limitless

As I drove through the crowded streets after work not too long ago, I came to a stoplight and watched as people made their way through the cross walk of a busy intersection.  The majority of the group of people that were walking kept going down the block once they reached the sidewalk, except I noticed this one individual who stopped and was waiting for another light to change as he was headed down a different street.  What was noteworthy to me was how he had this groove in his step as he got to the corner and while he waited for the light to turn, he was dancing to what appeared to be music that he was listening to with his ear phones.  He also looked like he could energize anyone who came into contact with him.  As the light finally changed for me to make my own turn, I noticed one more thing about this young man.  As I made my final lane change and looked at him more closely as I drove by, I noticed he was wearing two prosthetic legs, all the while he was dancing and grooving to his own beats.  I almost hit my brakes when I saw this, as I maneuvered my car to the appropriate lane and felt an instantaneous sense of joy, as I witnessed this great moment.  While I drove home I had many thoughts that kept flooding through my head.  The first one was that I had to write about this experience for sure, as it was something I felt compelled to share.  Then afterwards, I wondered out loud to myself how can someone who would appear to have some substantial limitations, go through life without even resembling that type of thinking?  Well obviously it was someone that has made his way through life with a resilient disposition and clearly does not appear to have the notion that there are any limits.  I was grateful for the moment which I was able to witness, as I felt that I was meant to see this so that I could have this level of happiness to end my long day.  It also made me think about my own life before I even owned a car and how the experience of walking while others drove by me, could make me to feel less than enthusiastic about crossing a public street. I couldn’t recall myself having that extra pep in my step either and the thought about dancing in the street also did not happen.  How times have changed for me and the beauty that comes with appreciating moments like this one, in that I felt present enough to enjoy the experience through someone I had not met and most likely would not see again.  In that instance I also was reminded to be utterly grateful for having legs that still work, as we could all learn a lesson or two from examples such as this one.  Ultimately, we are only limited by our own thinking and we can show the world what we want them to see and it certainly does not have to be negative in nature.   Remember to live your best life without fear of the unknown and make each day count so that you dance to the music playing in your own head with a limitless attitude.
 

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them” – Albert Einstein

Lead From Where You Stand

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Lead From Where You Stand”

By

Rob Claudio

Over the course of my career, I have had the privilege of speaking at many conferences and local meetings addressing the topic of leadership.  I enjoy the subject, because I consider myself to be a lifelong student, as there are many authors that periodically write a best-selling book which provides for a new perspective.  Through the course of my years of study, I have come to understand that while I do have some favorite authors, I can always learn something new from somebody’s message including some who are not necessarily on the New York Times Best Seller List.  If there is one skill that I have gotten better at over the years, is that of filtering information that I find relevant to my personal life or for my work, while releasing those things that lacked value.  One particular lesson that I learned early on as a new manager, came from a training seminar I attended on the subject of excellence.  I recall that there were so many things that I connected with at this session, that spoke to many facets of my life at that time.  I had the realization and continue to teach when I have a chance, that doing small things in an excellent manner, leads to larger things that embody greatness.  It was during this discussion that I learned a lifelong nugget of wisdom when they discussed the concept of leading from where you stand.  For me this moment was like a flashing lightbulb sensation that made everything go in slow-motion, as the words sank into me and I saw my career flash before my eyes.  The reason this resonated so much for me was that I truly believed the philosophy, that leadership did not come from a fancy title, a particular job or a place in some type of hierarchy.  As a younger person in a leadership role, I learned from years of preparation before that to act and make decisions as a leader, even without having a title.  It was a sense of self-empowerment that has been with me since my formative years and I attribute that to my own personal upbringing with my mother and grandmother.  I came to the realization that if I already functioned as a leader, then when the opportunity would present itself, I could possibly make the transition easier by demonstrating my capability which I had been practicing for some time.  I became comfortable that one could lead from anyplace in which they stood and regardless if the job title came or not.  You see, once you take away a title you are left with the real you; at home, on the weekends and outside the world of work.  For me, leadership means that you encompass some distinct qualities that shape who you are and as a result, others want to follow you willingly. Therefore, if you are a leader or aspire to become one of any capacity, do not lose sight of the fact that you are able to demonstrate many qualities that may be attractive to a potential team that needs a leader, from the place where you happen to be standing today.  Remember that becoming a leader does not happen in a day, as if you are cramming for a midterm exam in college.  A leader develops daily, in the way that you act and behave along with how you add value to your team without taking credit for any of it.  Hence, put your best foot forward and model the behavior that you want others to follow, while not taking yourself or your title too seriously as it does not define you, your character does.    

Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position. —Brian Tracy

Soaring With A Grateful Heart

While I was at the swimming pool doing some laps before the summer heat arrived, I took a break to catch my breath at one end and paused to look up.  The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and a beautiful yellow butterfly danced in the air as it gracefully hovered over the water, as if to greet me on this particular morning.  Although for a moment I felt like this could be a scene from a Disney movie when the animals talk back to you and they break out in song, I smiled and simply enjoyed the wonderful scene that was displayed around me.  In the moment, I was in a complete state of gratitude and was simply absorbing all of this beauty, while I felt so appreciative of what I was receiving.  Interestingly, I always think about those instances when I am faced with this sense of abundant gratitude, while I contemplate how did I ever get to this facet of my life?  I can tell you that prior to getting here there were many instances of selfish thinking when I needed things to change because I was in an uncomfortable situation or simply that I wanted things my way at my time.  It has taken me many years to learn to appreciate from those periods in my life when things were not going right and still have a grateful attitude in the end.  I remember many prayers where I began asking for God's will to occur, yet in the end, I found myself suggesting that perhaps he could do something that I needed in the process.  I laugh to myself now when I think about how silly I must have sounded to someone that already knew the final answers to what I was requesting, while having to listen to my suggested plan for Him.  I am really thankful for the growth that I have experienced over the many years of my life, because it is so easy now to laugh out loud at my younger self versus where I am today.  I also feel compelled to share these experiences, as I believe that we all have a purpose in giving back to those that are in need, including those that are deficient in amounts of wisdom.  While we cannot save all young people from making the same mistakes that we did when we were younger, we can certainly empathize with their trials and offer some suggested advice that we hope will land in the ears of those that need to receive the message.  What I have also learned over the course of the years is that if you want family members to accept your advice, that also is a tall order.  What tends to happen is that a relative close to you will be more accepting of advice from a stranger or an acquaintance, than they will be from you, just because of the fact that you are related to them.  Hence, do your best to help others that cross your path and as a result, someone else will more than likely help your loved ones as well.  So the next time you are out and about in nature as you experience a moment where you feel grateful, don't miss the opportunity to appreciate all of that as you say thank you for the place you happen to be soaring over on that day.

Whispers From God

There are many times when we have a feeling or an intuition deep inside of us, that it is hard to define or label exactly what that is, however, people have called it all sorts of things from intuition to your inner voice.  Because the world is so vast and the universe is even bigger with many questions that are hard to answer, I like to call these occurrences whispers from God.  As a person of faith, I believe that these instances occur so that I can acknowledge that I am quite small and finite like a drop of water, floating along in God's great deep ocean.  It is that strong connection that as drops of water we all have to this great entity, which can call upon us or redirect our path from time to time that keeps us in sync.   In my experience it has also been true that the whispers that come to us in the late evening or perhaps as we wake up in the still and quiet of the early morning, can have a very specific message for us.  I have also learned that if it is not what we want to hear it can become a nuisance, as we believe that we are still waiting for the message that better suits our own preferences.  When we receive a particular notice that may not be what we wanted, we often convince ourselves that it must have been something else and it certainly was not God.  Our ability to discern what we want to hear as opposed to what we need to hear, can sometimes be an illuminating experience.  The difficulty that comes from hearing what is needed, is that it may not be pleasant or it means that we have to work that much harder in a different manner, in order to move in the right direction.  What experience has also taught me, is that if you decide that you don't want to listen to a message that is needed, God also has a way of re-sending it through another mechanism that will manifest itself in your life in a different way.  The bottom line is that it is still the same message and we just have to stop fighting back as we ultimately need to accept what He wants us to do next.  So you see, whispers can sometimes turn into loud voices that even a person who is hard of hearing, will be able to recognize.  In my own life, the whispers that tell us what we should do often provide the most ultimate peace of mind in the long run.  There is something to be said about accepting and receiving something that will ultimately be for our own good.  So the next time before you go to sleep or as you open your eyes, pause for a moment and listen not only with your ears but also with your heart.  Ultimately, it is those whispers that come to us at those periods of time that often prove to be the answers that we were waiting for.