Our Living Memories

After returning home to celebrate a couple of events a few weeks ago, I found out a family member had been extremely ill for a short time period and ended up passing away very soon thereafter.  I had made plans to visit him in the hospital, only to find out that time had marched forward very quickly and his time with us had come to an end very suddenly.  I went from going to celebrate happy occasions to making another trip home a week later to a more somber celebration of an individual's life, which reminded me that life is full circle of all of these types of moments.  We all have a limited journey in which we have no control over when the celestial clock that determines where it comes to a complete stop.  For those of us still living, we are left to contemplate what we have done to leave an indelible mark, that we hope will bring a smile to somebody's face when they remember us after we are long gone.  It isn't until when these moments occur, that we realize how sometimes we do take time for granted.  Many of us believe that we will always have another weekend or perhaps another holiday when we can catch up with a dear family member or an old friend.  Yet, the reality is that in many instances we miss the opportunity in which we could have said hello or goodbye one last time.  I am sure we all can remember a final instance when we saw someone that was close to us, which ended up being the last time we have a living memory of them.  What we are left with are instances where we capture a final picture or moment which plays back to us like a video montage after they have left.  As I get older, I realize that time stands still for nobody and as the clock continues to tick in the distance and it reminds me that we need to make the best of the days along with hours that still remain.  Many of us have suffered losses and no matter what the circumstances, we are never prepared for when those moments occur.  If we think about someone that was very close to us that is no longer living, I am sure that we all have had the same thought about having one final opportunity to have one more day where we could have one last talk or hug that would comfort and fill our hearts. Because we are all left with just the pictures in our minds and in our hearts, we have to find some comfort in having those occasions where we can replay them of that person sitting next to us and providing us with that feeling of being connected in life.  Since none of us is promised another tomorrow, it is important to reach out and say thank you, I love you or any other thoughts we want to express while we are still living to those that mean something to us.  In my mind, I feel like I have a catalog of albums that are filled with so many pictures and videos that I sometimes have a hard time finding the right one that I was looking for, when I need a playback.  Then as days go by, something will happen or somebody will say a word that triggers that memory or picture and in a quick flash, I can see the image I had been searching for which is usually followed by a smile and a sense of happiness.   I hope your personal pictures, videos and moments live on forever in your memories and in your heart of those that meant so much to you.  My other wish is that the time that you have left can always be filled with those occasions that make life worth living.  To my happy go lucky cousin with a great big generous heart, Roberto a.k.a. "Pollo"☨ who now rests in eternal peace, I will miss you and one day we will meet again to have some additional laughs and give a welcoming hug as we catch up on the time that has passed in-between.

Strength Within

I am sharing a column that will be published next month. 

“Strength Within”

By

Rob Claudio

I have always been interested in hearing about stories of perseverance, because they become examples of inspiration when we find ourselves challenged by any number of things in our lives.  I saw a person some time ago accepting an award on a television show as he was being recognized for his determination and outstanding sports casting skills, as he has been battling cancer for almost two years.  They showed video of his typical day, which began with an early trip to the cancer center hospital, where he underwent radiation therapy for a few hours.  He then would pack up and head off to the sports stadium either in his home town or away where his team was playing, in order to do his show from the sidelines.  A typical day for him was almost fourteen hours of non-stop activity before he got the opportunity to go home and rest.  As one can imagine, if a person is battling a serious medical condition and receiving extensive treatment, there would appear to be little room for the energy needed to travel and perform at a high profile job.  Yet, this individual chose to have the best attitude about his situation and in contrast to many who may have been in similar circumstances, demonstrated to the world that his love for life and his work, was far stronger than any ailment.  It was very uplifting to see how this person's strength within, was so evident on the outside and one could not detect any type of deficiency associated with a person suffering from a life threatening illness.  I love examples like him and I know there are many more out there, because I am reminded that life is not always easy, yet the opportunity to achieve great things in the midst of heartache is extremely possible.  We all could learn a lesson or two from these types of individuals that will themselves forward far beyond what one could think is imaginable.    If there is someone whom you know that is going through a particular challenge, then take the initiative to be their light in their cloudy moment.  An invitation to have a cup of coffee, share a meal or simply let them know that you are there for them, can change a person’s day, week or month.  Nobody is immune to challenges or adversity through-out their lives, so always remember that at any given time it can be anyone of us who may need to summon our inner strength.  What I have found to be true with experience, is that if I was there for others in the past, I usually end up with some guiding lights in my life that will help me in my own time of need.  Always remember that no matter what your current circumstance, hope prevails and all things have a time limit to them as nothing is forever.  Whenever you want to potentially complain about something, simply think of these prominent examples that have shown all of us and the rest of the world what triumph over adversity can look like.

“Joy is of the will which labors, which overcomes obstacles, which knows triumph”’

-William Butler Yeats

Rearranging Your Boxes

I have had some items from my old computer sitting in my room on a leather chair for some time and they had become part of my room as a cluttered island unto themselves.  My mom who happened to be in town and had been staying with me at my house, kept passing by those items and she finally had enough of looking at them as part of this rummage that was taking up space.  One day when I got home from work, I noticed the chair was empty and did a double take as to where those items could be.  I did not notice right away, however, my mom had neatly rearranged the items in a stack placed behind my door where you could barely notice them.  I smiled for a moment as it came to mind that I never thought about rearranging these things that I still did not want to through away.  I just kept them in a cluttered pile and there was no thought put behind them about using that space more efficiently.  I kept thinking about this simple solution that was created when someone else looked at the same thing with a different perspective and was able to reach a welcome and desired outcome.  I find it amazing that one can contemplate solutions to something and you come up with blanks, while somebody else can see the exact same thing and are able to create a well polished answer.  As a result, I think it is a great concept when you think about how in your life you can think about how you would rearrange some your own life boxes.  Perhaps you have gotten into a routine of some sort that has become comfortable, yet also has grown a bit stale.  When you realize that many of the things that used to spark enthusiasm in you no longer generate the same feeling, then it is certainly worth your time to contemplate why that is and what you need to do in order to re-energize yourself.  Stepping away from things and spending some time meditating on where you are and where you want to be is also a good thing.  Many times we don't have the exact solution to everything right away, however, it is the beginning of that thought process that will eventually generate the answer that is needed.  If you have things in your life that resemble clutter whether they are actual boxes or other issues that are muddled in your life, begin to look at the possibility of rearranging all of it one box at a time.  Small steps toward your ultimate goal is often the best approach and will yield long lasting results.  The effort that you put into making these adjustments simply takes a beginning and some continued consistency in order to get there.  Remember that looking at an issue from a different view can change the dynamics of the problem at hand.  Therefore, don't be limited by your current view of things and think about the possibilities of what can be your ultimate and desired outcome.

The Crooked Path

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month.

“The Crooked Path”

By

Rob Claudio

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to someone whose wisdom I admire in every sense and has lived a much longer life than I.  During our discussion he was explaining his view about his life, as it has taken some interesting twists and turns in order to get to where he is at today.  First, he reminded me about having great intentions to do your own will and how those well intended plans can sometimes surprise us as they unravel before our eyes.  He gave me a great personal quote that will stay with me forever when he stated, "God writes with a crooked hand".  I knew exactly what he was saying and it made me laugh and smile at the thought of how the meaning behind those words related to my own life.  Many of us make great plans for our lives and then the reality of what actually happens as we go about our personal journey can change, impacting our destination of where we were headed.  It is even more interesting when you think about the people that have shown up in our lives and how they contributed to our growth, outlook or served as an example of what we don’t want to be like.  There is a lesson in everything that crosses our path, if you are paying close enough attention.  When I came home that night I ended catching a rerun of one of my favorite films, "The Matrix".  As I quickly immersed myself in the story of Neo and him finding out if he was the person that everyone had been waiting for, I received a separate reminder about my earlier discussion.  There is a part in the film when the main character Neo goes to see a lady known as the Oracle.  She is supposed to be all knowing and capable of identifying this person who is supposed to be their savior of sorts.  She basically tells him he is not the one, but he has to keep this information to himself as his peers don't want to know what was said to him.  Neo’s inner circle of peers simply believe that he is the one.  As a result, his immediate confusion is met with his own self-doubt and yet he ends up living up to his peer's expectations.  His crooked path was impacted by someone telling him they did not believe in him and through the power of believing in other people's expectations, he ends up surpassing his own. In my own personal journey what I have also learned is that you have to have fun and enjoy the crookedness of the path that you happen to be on, as it continues to materialize before your eyes.  The things that I have experienced and the people that made an impact in my life are as varied as the ingredients of a complex dish that takes hours to perfect.  Whether it is a splash of this or a sprinkle of that, we are constantly updating our own recipe for life.  Also, my appreciation continues for how different everything can be as quickly as the next day arrives.  Finally, I also learned to embrace how this celestial hand continues to write out a story for me with continued twists and turns, that like a good book, I want to keep reading to see what happens next.  Life would be a bit boring if things remained the same as always and one would never be able to appreciate the beauty that was created by the uneven and crooked journey.  My advice to you is to embrace and enjoy all of the things that are part of your wonderful path.  Although not all pieces of it may be pleasant, learn from it all.  In the end, you will most likely get the opportunity to share your personal words of wisdom with someone who will cross your path one day.   Your story can be another example for someone to realize that their apprehension about life is a common dilemma and there are people that will help you navigate it, if you are paying attention and willing to listen to them.   

“Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.“

-Henry David Thoreau

Your Self Worth

I saw a great reminder today when I was looking at motivational signs and one in particular caught my attention.  It read, "Your value doesn't decrease based upon someone's inability to see your worth".  I absolutely loved this, because it prompted me to think about the times through out my life where someone underestimated me about one thing or another and I was able to rise to the occasion of not only exceeding my expectations but theirs too.  There are many times when we are faced with these challenges and it is not always the case that one gets the opportunity to redeem themselves.  Therefore, when their is an instance when one can achieve this, it makes the climb up a tough mountain that much more sweeter.  More importantly in the message, was to also take note that just because somebody does not see what you believe your talents and strengths are, to not take it personally.  Our personal self worth, is such a valuable commodity that we cannot afford to lose any ounce of it, as we have to wade through the seas of instances when we are challenged by the non-believers in us.  There are detractors and others who may feel superior to you, just because of a personality clash that you will never be able to fix.  This is were we get caught up sometimes, in trying to figure things out, so that someone will like you, despite what it can take to arrive at that desired outcome.  We must be mindful that we are not always going to be somebody else's cup of tea and when that occurs, do not waste a lot of your time in figuring out the right solution to a problem that may not have any remedy.  It is in our nature to want to be liked by others, however, as I have grown older, my focus has shifted towards being respected versus liked.  You see, like can be very subjective based upon the person making the assessment and there are any number of things that can change a person's viewpoint to be able to agree or disagree with you, just on the basis of their biases.  Rather than spending time on changing that circumstance, focus on what it is that you bring to this world, by your measures of talents, gifts and abilities which you could share.  Think about the amount of time that we all have on this earth and how quickly it goes by.  For some who do not get to live a long life, we have them as vivid examples of why the need to focus on the things that truly matter.  Therefore, do not worry about those that want to detract you when they focus on something negative about you, instead turn your head and face towards those that do want to be part of your existence as you add value to them, just as much as they do to you.

Inner Peace

It is a wonderful state of mind when in the quietest moments you can listen to the sound of your own heart beating and you realize that even for that short time, you can enjoy some moments of silence that are filled with peace.  Our lives are so busy these days that people have created businesses around the idea that you need some guidance in the form of meditation that essentially is the same quiet time that we all get in different parts of the day.  If you are religious, then those moments can be comprised of prayer, when you are connected to your higher power.  When I was young I learned to pray through my grandmother and mother and most of my prayers were short as they rhymed, which made it easier for them to became part of my daily rituals.  My grandmother had lots of these and she made sure they were ingrained in me, as it was an important lesson she wanted to teach me about our faith and being grateful to God.  Through her teachings I learned that you can pray at any time through out the day, as you gave your care to someone that was much more powerful than you could ever be.  Whether it was a prayer before a meal or a night time thankful prayer for the day I had been given, I learned to be grateful well before it became hip to have a gratitude journal.  I can recall asking myself what was I thankful for at a young age and my list was not very long.  I struggled to figure out why I did not have certain things that my friends had, which made my gratitude reflection somewhat fragmented as the detours of my mind made me a bit confused about what was important to be thankful for.  I was also more self centered, which brings all things to a place that are not the most ideal to begin with. Now as an adult, I find my list at any given time can be longer if I think long enough about what I have that makes me fulfilled.  Yet, interestingly enough, I find that being grateful for very simple things also condenses my list to a less lengthy itemization of things.  Whether it is in the early morning or late at night, I run through some of the things that I am so appreciate of having and I can feel how it even changes my breathing the moment I begin to go through that process.  It was a long time before I realized that inner peace can come from those specific instances, when you realize that you have so much gratitude for things that are not necessarily materialistic in nature.  The ability to get up, see and hear a new day, realizing that you have people that love you, while you have enough good health to realize that others may not be so fortunate, is reason enough for one to breathe deeply as you exhale in a peace filled state.  The next time you find your mind cluttered with distracting thoughts, think about all of the good that is currently in your life and don't worry about the quantity in which it exists.  Instead, be mindful that you have many things to be grateful for and pay attention as you breathe in with self realization, while as you exhale you can pay attention to the calming effect of realizing that you are more blessed than others.

Finding Personal Joy

Today I am sharing an article that will be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Finding Personal Joy”

By

Rob Claudio

Last week I was driving behind a car as we slowly made our way down a long avenue in stop and go rush hour traffic, down a busy avenue.  In front of me, was a car with a white and gray dog that that kept sticking its head out the back windows every time the car came to a stop. The dog would alternate between each window as it would look out and turn back at all of us driving behind it.  At times, the dog was looking back directly at me and it made me smile for an extended period of time, as you could see utter happiness clearly depicted in its eyes.  It relished taking in the sights and aromas all around, as we slowly crept up the street with all of the cars in tow.  Being a bystander and taking all of this in, certainly made my afternoon drive more joyful than I thought it would be.  Soon after I got home, I received some pictures from one of my nephews who had gotten married a couple of weeks prior and although I was unable to attend the wedding, I looked at all of the images that were sent to me that painted another joy filled event.  The photos got more and more vivacious as the celebration transitioned into the reception with lots of happy and silly images from family and friends.  Although I was not present, I could feel the happiness that was radiated by those that were there.  I again found myself smiling while viewing the images and had another recognized moment of joy that was contagious via these photos. In retrospect to my day, I contemplated how I have learned over the years that true happiness can be found almost anywhere, as long as you are open to receiving it in its many forms.  I know that some days it may be more difficult to find those moments, however, think about the residual effect from those instances where you are able to acknowledge it and make it part of your day.  When you forget whatever was troubling you and are able if only for a small juncture to snap out of your original thinking with a smile and proceed with a happier perspective, you become the catalyst for your own change.  Also, there are many things that can trigger a happy feeling, so it is nice to know that we have a long varied menu of things to contemplate that can change our viewpoint.  Whether it is the sound of a child laughing or a favorite song that makes you want to get up and dance as you sing along, the options for joyful moments are plenty.  Ultimately we must remember that the responsibility for the joy we want in our lives lies within us.  Consequently, if you wait for someone else to bring it to you or for the right invitation to arrive, you may be waiting a long time.  Remember to never miss an opportunity to be still and acknowledge a happy instance that you can archive in your memories, which you can access at a future date.  If you have the opportunity to rent a movie that perfectly illustrates this process, I highly recommend the Disney Pixar animated film “Inside Out”.  I can talk about this topic via my own experiences, however, there is nothing like a live illustration that can make it that much easier to fully comprehend. Ultimately, I am sure that you will find that many of life’s simple things, can create the greatest of joy filled moments.  Your strategy should be purposeful in creating that environment on a daily basis.  As a result, the things that make you happy and bring a smile to your face is what you should remember every night as you close your eyes and think about another fulfilling day that you had the privilege to be a part of.    

  

“Joy does not simply happen to us. 

We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” 

― Henri J.M. Nouwen