High Standards

Today I am sharing a column that will be published next month. 

Inventing Your Life

“High Standards”

By

Rob Claudio

As I watched an old rerun on television last week, it had a sketch comedy bit about how lowering your standards could make you feel happier. First I laughed out loud to myself about the silliness related to that message, as it portrayed the achievement of happiness and contentment by getting rid of what you hold in high regard.  As I continued to chuckle through the rest of the performance, I began to think about how our lives could change if we were to actually live by this philosophy.  It was not until a few hours after it was over that I really thought about it more deeply, in the dilemma of giving up something in order to settle for less.  I am sure you can come up with your own list of items where you made a decision based upon cost, time or other inherent reason and perhaps adjusted your standards in the process.  When I think about the days in my younger more frivolous youth, I was also reminded about the silly phase that I went through in buying bottled water that was a French brand because it sounded exclusive and all the cool young crowd had a bottle of it in their hands where ever you went.  This bottle also came with a deeper price tag than the standard brands and interestingly for me, I ultimately felt the other brands tasted better.  Yet, in my crazy thinking I made sense of spending the additional money and back then I had very little discretionary funds to spare, only because it appeared to be the “in” thing to do.  I can also recall the department stores that I used to shop at were of a particular caliber, as I wanted the latest brand of hip clothes that some of my peers were wearing.  It is funny now to think that when I had the least amount of extra money to spend, I ended up spending a lot more.  Sadly, many of those items had only a limited shelf life to them, as much of it was a passing fad.  What I now realize is that I placed value on what others perceived of me, as opposed to what I could afford.  Now as I think about all of those things in my distant memory I simply say “thank you”, for the lesson that it eventually taught me.  Holding yourself accountable to your own standards is something that you can keep your head up high about, as it provides you with peace of mind as you lull yourself to sleep at night.  Knowing that you did not have to lower anything about your personal benchmarks of what you believe and value, will continue to provide a great return of your personal investment.  Always remember that your personal standards ultimately is part of who you are and speaks your truth to others.  If you are presented with an easy way out of something, think twice about the consequence of that simple fix.  Many times we have all learned that doing the right thing and for the right reason, should be your only true compass point.  Ultimately, remember to keep your standards high and don’t settle for anything that is not worthy of who you are.      

“You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that.”   -Michael Jordan

Moments and Memories

I was in a store several weeks ago when I inadvertently went up the wrong aisle looking for something I needed at my house.  You can say it was by accident, however, I know there is always a purpose behind those, when I was faced with a box of Cracker Jack staring at me as I came to a complete halt.  I instantly smiled as I noticed the writing on the outside of the box prominently displayed that there was a prize awaiting you inside the box.  In a snap,  I was taken back to when I was a child and remembered going grocery shopping with my grandmother and seeing the same boxes at the store.  This was one of the few products that she actually would spend extra money on when I was with her, as it was a treat that was not chocolate or some other confection she had little knowledge of.  In my vague memories I can still remember the prize inside one of those boxes, which had a package of lick and stamp tattoos.   I recall putting them on my arm and more than once, as the second tattoo was much blurrier than the first.  Who knew they were on to something well ahead of their time.  I remembered how this little package of happiness, came with not only popcorn, but caramel covered peanuts, which to me was the extra bonus in buying this product.  All of these wonderful memories shot back at me, right there in the middle of aisle four as I now reached for the package of three small boxes (which is how they are packaged now) and put them in my cart.  How could I pass up such a good deal and most importantly, how could I not honor my wonderful memories that came with this particular box of happiness?  What I found so enlightening about the experience was that it also reminded me about how we have these trigger items that are etched in our lives that will instantly make us take that joyful journey backwards to when we created a wonderful memory.  I love that it can be almost anything for anybody, such as a favorite song, movie or perhaps the smell of your ultimate delightful comfort food.  The list can be quite lengthy and the best thing is that most people have many favorite things to ponder.  When I thought about how this is one of my favorite things, I also thought about the song of a similar name in the film The Sound of Music, which is also one of those instant heartening classics for me.  I am so appreciative of all of these things that bring me wonderful recollections of cheer, for they continue to inspire and fulfill me in so many different ways.  In my view, I believe that the key to having fond memories such as these is to relive them as often as you can.  We all get tied up with living such busy lives, that we tend to forget about the truly joyous moments that can wake us up from a slumber and give us that much needed energy boost, which does not come from a can or a food item that was doctored up to produce the reaction.  The moments and memories that fill our lives are wonderful carvings that mark the places we have been and the feelings that are sometimes filled with jubilant elation, enabling us to walk through the more difficult days that are sometimes part of our journey.  Remember that you have the power to change your perspective, your attitude and your life, it all depends on whether you truly want to do so.  Also, keep those happy and beautiful memories alive so that you can enjoy more of life, as it was meant to be.

The Right Thing

Today I am sharing a column that will be published soon.  

“The Right Thing”

By

Rob Claudio

A few days ago, I was reflecting on a sign I had read which reminded me that doing the right thing is not always easy.  Although I have seen many different versions of this in various formats, I always appreciate it when I see the message.   I am also in complete agreement with its meaning, as there have been far too numerous examples in my own life when I was taught a lesson or two as part of this reality.  I also thought about how I always had a hard time contending with how easy it has been for some people to continue to do the wrong thing, as they appear to get an easy pass at times, while others find it much harder and struggle with staying on the right path.  I then recalled how the arrival at a higher level of achievement takes hard work along with sweat and tears for some.  Yet, it is the hard work and feeling that you get afterwards of reaching a great milestone, which validates how what you did is worth celebrating because it was not particularly simple.  This made me think about the students who study their brains out to achieve near perfect grades to obtain acceptance to a prestigious college or university.  For these young adults, it was not easy to say no to going out with friends or using their discretionary time differently, instead of deciding to stay home and study further for their next exams.  These individuals did so with the intent that they would be rewarded for their extra effort and diligence.  Interestingly one may have heard stories from time to time about how a wealthy family was able to get their child into a top college, simply because of their status and influence.  I always think about how these particular young individuals will grow up in a world where they were not seeking the highest standard of achievement, and as a result do not have the same appreciation for the discipline needed to reach a lofty goal.  That is why the satisfaction of attainment of one's personal goals are also relished even more for those that had the more difficult journey.  When I hear about a person who overcame significant barriers, such as extreme poverty or a lack of family support and were able to obtain acceptance to a prestigious university, I smile because of the potential of that individual to not only make a significant difference in the world, but also how they will inspire others of similar circumstances.  I know that we have all faced many days when we think about how we would have appreciated an easier path, rather than having to face the uncomfortable or more difficult walks that we have come to know.  If you find yourself in this particular situation, I believe that your challenge can lead to a greater victory that can ultimately change your life in a positive way.  You just have to be mindful that sometimes the outcomes that we expect do not exactly arrive at the time that they are needed and even more interestingly they may not look exactly how you had envisioned they would be.  Trusting that all things will work out for your good in the end is having ultimate faith, that can bring you greater inner peace if you work more towards having this at the center of your life.  Remember that worrying more about your outcome usually does not solve your issue either.  For the time being no matter where you find yourself in life, you must learn to trust your path and put on your best attitude wherever you happen to be.  Also, do the work and put in the hours of practice, effort or other investment needed that will eventually yield the results that you long for.  Remember that the path that you are walking on may not be the easiest at times, however, if you are making the right choices it will lead you to the place that you are meant to be.

“Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular.”
― Roy T. Bennett

The Slow Down

I have been contending with a personal knee injury for over two months now and while I await my impending surgery date, I have been forced to slow down quite a bit.  It certainly has been another eye opening period of time, when one is subjected to the fact that our body parts are wearing out and some tune ups or patch ups are needed to keep us going.  I figure since our cars and trucks need these maintenance periods, then we are no different in that form of reference.  I can tell you what I miss most is just the simple pleasure of a walk outside, with my music playing on my MP3 device, as I head up a hill that is filled with lots of natures beauty.  As I drive by it these days, I simply wave to it and whisper that I will be back soon.  In my mind, I already picture that as I look at the trees that may now be bigger or sprouting different leaves.  The different flowers that bloom during the winter rainy and cold weather, are also awaiting for me to stop by and admire them in their state of being.  My saving grace with my connection to plants and nature are my own set of flowers and plants that are on my patio.  I have been able to go outside and sit next to them, as I admire all of the new growth along with the flourishing greenery that is loving the season of rain that has come upon us in Southern California.  My thoughts have also been with the nearby mountains and deserts who as a result of some of this seasonal wet weather, will soon be teeming with lots of lush green colors, while the flowers that bloom in the more arid areas are percolating with an explosion of beauty that is just imminent.  When you slow down, you realize that the things you take for granted at times is what one can miss the most.  What has come out of this experience is another sense of deep gratitude for the many other things that I do have as part of my health and although this may be a hiccup for now, I always remember that others are struggling with illnesses that are far more worse than mine.  It does not take long to take inventory of those items that one can be appreciative of.  I also see that with technology, the window to the world is simply waiting on a screen of a myriad of devices that can instantly take you to those places that you miss or wish you were at.  On a daily basis I make the time for pause reflection and prayer, as they are part of my life and in this existing state, I find that there are just many more opportunities to revel in them.  What has transpired is a period of quiet peace that some people have to make time for, while I can carve out many periods of them through out the day.  While I can't wait to get back to my hill and the beauty of its surrounding nature, I will patiently anticipate that day when I can greet it with a smile that is reminiscent of a reunion with an old friend.

Game Changer

Sharing a column that will be published next month. 

Inventing Your Life

“Game Changer”

By

Rob Claudio

When you watch a competitive game either in person or via television, there is a lot of excitement associated with the unknown outcome once the clock runs out.  We all like to root for our favorite players or teams and our loyalty to them is sometimes based upon a formula that is hard to explain.   Why I became a supporter of a team for instance, was based upon my inner circle of friends and family who also cheered them on with passionate accord, without a lot of explanation as to why.  From a very young age, I can just remember that if you did not support a particular team, then you were not part of the family or group of friends.  Our loyalty was challenged from a very young age and it instilled in us this sense of pride if they won or we felt disheartened when they lost.  I love the fact that in every type of sporting event, there is also a moment that can completely change the momentum of the game and can cause what would have been a potential loss, to become a winning result in the end.  The sportscasters of the world will replay that moment over and over again, while they spend a good amount of time discussing that pivotal instance that was deemed as the game changer.  In life, we too have moments that change our momentum and sometimes they can have both positive and negative effects that come with them.  How we deal with those instances is what defines us as we learn through our circumstance that we are capable of rising above a challenge, in order to grow from it and also be able to help others overcome a similar situation.  It is important for us to remember that a potential setback changing moment can enable us to reach for even higher lengths and we can all remember a period of time where we thought we would never be able to get past it, yet we all have.  Our game changing moments are like large dots on a map, which can show us where we were and also provide a history of the road we have traveled.  As we get older, looking back at the amount and the sizes of those large dots makes one realize how privileged we are in the many years that we have been alive to be able to retrace them.  Sometimes just remembering a particular challenging time, can cause us to wonder out loud how we survived that period.  The next time you look at the highlights of game that was played, think about the highlights in your own life.  Many of us fail to give ourselves credit for the things that we have achieved and what I find in my older seasoned years of living, is that I would like to think that my mom and grandmother who were the largest influences in my life would be proud of how I turned out.  As a direct byproduct of what they helped nurture during their lives, I am forever grateful for all that they did for me.  As most of us were cared for and led by instrumental parents, mentors or teachers in our lives, we owe all of our success to those that came before us.  For it is because of those pivotal people that lit the way when we faced darkness in our journey, that we were able to arrive at the place where we needed to be.  It is my hope that you can recall many great game changing moments that caused you to do better and be better as a result.  Remember that the game is not over until the clock stops and until that occurs, you still have the possibility of making a great play that will forever define you as a human being.  After all, it is the memories of those highlight reels which will be left behind as part of your legacy, long after the lights have been turned off.

“The game of life has two participants, spectators and players.  Pick one.”

-Author unknown

Your Words; Your Reality

Today I am sharing an article that will be published next month.

Inventing Your Life

“Your Words; Your Reality”

By

Rob Claudio

As I meandered through a Saturday afternoon over the past weekend I was catching up on television shows that I had recorded and deleting some that I felt I would not have enough time for.  I got to a point in one of the recordings where I saw a reality television commercial and there was a life/fitness coach speaking to someone that wanted to give up on their goal.  I listened for a few minutes and then quickly moved on, however, I kept thinking about what the person was telling the individual that was in the middle of giving up, because he felt he could no longer move forward.  In hearing the person speak, I could tell that he had changed his belief about himself on his journey.  After I left the house and went about my errands, I kept thinking about the power of our own words and what we tell ourselves that can either help us believe in achieving something or can also deter us from arriving at a goal.  We can do a good job of talking ourselves out of many things by creating our own downward spiral conversation from within, without the need of another individual.  What we speak to ourselves can be the most powerful weapon that can be used for both good or to create doubt and apprehension.  Think about the words that were used with you as a child and I bet there is a vivid memory of a very positive example, when words of encouragement were spoken to you by someone which perhaps was life-changing.  Conversely, I believe that other memories may exist that may provide you with opposite feelings, especially if someone spoke to you while using negative or harmful words.   Because I would rather live in a world filled with encouragement and peace, I choose to remember only the good memories and I hope you strive to do the same.  From the negative recollections, those I use to inspire to be better and do better. Hence, I encourage you to speak words that have good intentions behind them, with a positive light and where the action around you can be nurtured to move forward and not backwards or stand still. Your ability to transcend and create change in your life which can be more beneficial, begins with your ability to believe in your personal words to yourself.  If you find that there are people around you that are naysayers or don’t support what you want to do in your life, then find new folks to replace them as part of your inner circle.  Remember that not everyone grows in the same direction as we get older and some people become uncomfortable when you start changing, because it means that they are not.  The responsibility to change lies within each individual, so try to remember that when you feel you have a project at hand in attempting to change someone else.  In the end, you can change and if others do not, then hopefully they will catch up with you sometime soon.  Finally, remember to use your words wisely and with some ongoing practice I am sure that you will be speaking in a harmonious truth, that will attract like-minded individuals to be part of your circle of support.

"Your words have power. Speak words that are kind, loving, positive, uplifting, encouraging, and life-giving."

-      Author Unknown

When Your Soul Sings

We have opportunities to experience joy on any given day through out our lifetime.  As I experience those moments now as an older adult I tend to slow down to relish the feeling even longer, as my appreciation for these periods has grown tremendously.  There are many things that can bring us that feeling of overwhelming happiness and it can come from the simplest of things to the most complex of them.  For the foodies of this world, perhaps it is the taste of the best comfort cuisine that wakes up your senses and sends you to another place in appreciation for what you just savored.  Then there are nature enthusiasts, who feel their hearts jump with delight when they are in front of a beautiful waterfall or perhaps at the top of a majestic mountain with a view that could last for years.  Let us not forget that the laughter of a child can be music to the ears of many folks as well and when we hear this we can all agree that most of us smile as soon as it happens around us.  Then there is the first time parent who is introduced to their newborn child and when they first see their baby with utter amazement the bond is immediate and embedded into their soul, as the moment fills a heart with abundant elation.  The examples are so numerous that one could write out complete volumes of encyclopedias with them, however, I think you get the picture of what I am trying to convey.  I have termed these moments for myself "when your soul sings", because it feels like this other part of you gets connected to something beyond what your eyes can see and draws from this great feeling of happiness that almost has no words for it.  If you believe in God, then you can also relate to that feeling where prayer, meditation and simply being in the presence of something much greater than yourself, can transcend a moment that at times may feel much longer and filled with euphoric and peaceful joy.  The key thing to remember is that the more you look for those things to be part of your daily experience, the more the law of attraction becomes present in your life.  What takes a bit of practice is to begin collecting all of those small moments of joy, as you string them together into greater lasting amounts.  When you think about the time that you are left with the remaining days of your life, it would only seem appropriate that you make calculated choices in selecting to live your life with more of an abundant bliss.  Because there are many things in our world that are tend to sap our energy and can bring us down emotionally, I think it is even more important now to counter all of that momentum with an opposite more appealing one.  Therefore, I do hope that many of you will make a more determined effort to screen more of the right things in your life and be present in the presence of a joy filled experience. Ultimately, I hope that all of it will provide you with ongoing opportunities which will allow your soul to sing consistently as well, as it reaches for even higher notes in the future.