Inventing Your Life

“Permission to Change”

by

Rob Claudio

For a very long time, I have seen and watched as many people around me whether they were family or friends struggled with the concept of change.  Personally or professionally, it has always been a challenge for many.  What allows you to change?  Sometimes it is a life altering event that becomes the catalyst for many to say, I cannot do this anymore.  For some it can be a health crisis, that brings about something that a person may have been thinking for a very long time, that now needs action.  For others, it could be something that they were contemplating for a very long time, perhaps years as they secretly wished that they had the courage to take a step that would take them out of their comfort zone and lead them to an unknown path.  Change does not come easy for a large number of folks.  For some it can be easier, however, the hardest changes take conviction, courage and faith that all things will work to your ultimate good.  One of the hardest things to observe is when people are struggling to end a long term relationship, especially when there are children and other people involved.  As difficult as this decision and its aftermath is, the true damage lies sometimes when people continue to stay with each other causing a lifetime of irreparable damage.  There are many things to consider when making some life altering changes.  The one thing that should be at the top of people’s list of pros and cons is the permission to allow yourself to be happy.  Life is painfully funny when you think about how some people grew up in damaged homes with damaged adults as their parents or guardians.  Yet, when they have the opportunity as adults themselves to be completely different from what they knew growing up, they end up repeating the same things that they said they were never going to allow in their homes or to be a part of.  Most of us grow up whether consciously or not, practicing what formulated us as children.  The key is as an adult, you have to have a good enough filter to make a distinction of what was a good learned behavior and what should no longer be part of how we behave now.  Many times as adults we are challenged with a life lesson.  Yet, in many instances we keep repeating the same lesson over and over.  I firmly believe that the reason that this continues is because we have not learned the lesson.  Once you get the lesson, then almost indelibly you move on.  Dealing with your capacity to change is a lesson in itself, however, the more work that you can accomplish towards this goal, the more joy you will bring to your life as a result.  As difficult as it is to make life altering changes, consider the alternative.  If we don’t change, then chances are we are stagnant while living with constant apprehension and or fear. Accompanied by this is probably the hardest thing for me to see in people and that is not living up to their potential with a lack of joy in their lives.  If you have been thinking for a long time, that you need to make some changes, then let this article be your catalyst that gives you permission to proceed with the work involved in change.  I hope that you call upon those qualities I mentioned earlier that drive your ability to change and I wish everyone the capacity and support to continue in the path that you feel you are compelled towards.  Remember that many people have felt the way you have before and many people have succeeded and are living examples for us to point to.  Look for those living examples, as they are all around you.  If they could do it, then so can you!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  --Maria Robinson