Today I am revisiting a previously published column.

Inventing Your Life

“Live In The Present”

BY

ROB CLAUDIO

I know that last year was a difficult year for a lot of people and for various and different reasons. It is hard to dust yourself off sometimes and reset your mind to think with a new perspective as you aspire to achieve different things during the coming year. I had a relaxing rest that allowed me to catch up on some books that I had been meaning to read. Among them, was one of the most simple, straight forward and yet very powerful books, written by a well known author, Dr. Wayne Dyer. It was, “10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.” It had so many poignant and insightful areas to it that I will be writing about different topics or chapters within it in the near future. Although it talks about “secrets”, I believe that a lot of these are really well known topics that a lot of us have addressed in various forms among our varied life experiences. The one chapter, or secret as he described it, that I am focusing on is one titled “Giving Up Your Personal History.” In a very succinct manner he speaks powerfully about how some people remain victims of their own personal history. He spoke about how most people live their lives hanging on to personal histories to justify their self-defeating behaviors and the scarcity in their lives. In addition, people hang on to past pains, abuses and shortcomings as calling cards to announce a “poor me” status to everyone they meet within minutes of introduction. How many people like this have you met? Or could you have been the one that exhibited this behavior? The victim mentality is then framed by those calling cards that state: “I was abandoned as a child”, “I’m an alcoholic”, “I am an incest survivor”, “My parents were divorced and I have never gotten over it”. The list could go on and on. However, living in the present should focus on leaving your past behind. By bonding to your past you not only ensure that you’ll be immobilized today, but you prevent yourself from healing. None of this is to say that you do not acknowledge your history; however, you should not be defined by it and how you live in the present. Although a lot of people have lived through many dark periods, accidents, tough episodes, periods of impoverishment, illnesses, abuses and broken dreams, Dr. Dyer asks us to give all of that a new job description and finally retire them or transform them in your own way. Become free to immerse yourself in this moment called the “present”, because it is simply that – a present to open, relish, nurture, play with – and enjoy! Dr. Dyer further expands on this by speaking about how the willingness and ability to live fully in the now eludes many people. While eating your appetizer don’t be concerned with dessert. While reading a book, notice where your thoughts are. While on vacation, be there instead of thinking about what should have been done and what has to be done when returning home. Don’t let the elusive present moment get used up by thoughts that are not in the here and now. He uses examples of how animals in nature do not get hung up on their past. Can you see a dog or a cat in an animal shelter waiting for adoption and incessantly asking themselves, “I wonder why was I abandoned?”, absolutely not. If you have ever adopted a pet, you know that the minute you walk into a shelter, those animals are staring at different people wanting to go home with a beloved family and living in the present. One can blame their beginning in life on their Parents, varied circumstances, or even luck. However, as an adult one knows better and is therefore the one held accountable for the remainder of their life. If you did not have the best beginning, you can be determined to have a great, happy and fulfilled ending. I hope that you choose to live out the rest of your living time by focusing on today and changing your attitude about your past. More importantly, acknowledge what you have gone through, honor it and let it go. You will feel more alive, less burdened and able to enjoy the present as a result!

“Here lies my past, Goodbye

I have kissed it;

Thank you kids, I wouldn’t

have missed it.”

– Ogden Nash