Disconnections

The feeling of connecting to people that really get who you are can be quite validating, if given the opportunity to have that experience.  Most of us connect to our families and although they may get us or we them, we may not always have the best relationships with all of those individuals.  In life we also get the opportunity to choose people that become part of our family circle, unlike direct family members where we had no choice.  This opportunity provides us with some of our greatest relationships that we feel bonded to through-out our lifetimes and those people we usually call friends.  However, what happens when the connections are just not there and for whatever reason, there is a person that just brings out the most unflattering feelings about yourself?  We periodically get to run into this dilemma, which makes us take inventory of what we value most in ourselves and others.  For the most part, we have had those feelings when introduced to an individual either through a mutual friend, acquaintance or family, when we realize that we immediately lack a connection.  Sometimes we are left not knowing why this person made us feel this way, however, we usually are good about following our instincts and create a boundary or distance that would prevent us from any further deepened engagement.  When this has occurred in my life, I have learned that there is a lesson in that intuition that will either confirm an existing belief or provide me with an opportunity to experience something out of my comfort zone that I needed to learn.  Many of us have had those instances when we met someone and although we did not connect to the person, we saw some qualities that reminded us of why we stayed away from those type of people to begin with.  The lessons that people bring to us are quite varied and yet they are powerful junctures in our life that create an opportunity to change our mind about something or someone.  Other times this moment simply provides validation about what we want in our lives, while reaffirming the beliefs that we have in our personal inventories.  I also learned a long time ago to not take things personally, especially when a somebody projects a negative way of being towards me, as it simply shows that there are other deep rooted issues that are causing this to occur for that individual.  Many people act out against others and most would be quick to judge the person simply on the face value of what they see in those instances.  However, many people act out or have developed the shield of protection around them because of their life circumstances, that they feel that they must walk through life in a defensive state against others.  Perhaps those people where hurt on multiple occasions and have lost trust in others.  There are many reasons why people turn to a different way of interacting with people over time and I just know that if the interaction is coming from someone feeling negatively, then it is a manifestation of their issues and not mine.  When faced with these examples of disconnecting to others, remember that we are all different people and our variety as human beings can cause this potential to not always feel as closely linked as we would like to be.   The lack of connection to someone can be validating or simply be a lesson to be learned.  Acknowledge that there are differences in everyone and if your intuition tells you to keep a distance, then simply pay attention and act accordingly.