True Grit

About a month ago I was captivated by a story about a 95-year-old veteran who continues on his quest to run across America from San Diego to Georgia.  Interestingly, this is the second time he is embarking on this run, as he previously did this in 2016.  I was just astonished at the thought of being that age and having the stamina to be able to accomplish such a task.  Over the years, I have learned that all of us have a level of strength that we can summon from the depths of our inner being which we never knew we had, until we are pressed in an extraordinary circumstance.  I have heard stories of people who have helped others after an accident, where they lifted an incredible amount of weight to help rescue someone in dire need.  Some people call these extraordinary beings who came out of nowhere angels, who were brought by divine intervention to aid them in their moment of need.  If you begin to filter the stories which are fed to us via the many channels of social media, television or any other form of communication, you realize that there are plenty of stories of these extraordinary occurrences to go around.  Then a couple of weeks ago, I saw a great story of a young man who was homeless living in Virginia and worked three part time jobs to get himself through school and was eventually accepted into his dream university of Boston College.  Aside from his shear will and determination to overcome homelessness, he took it upon himself to walk from where he lived prior to the beginning of his school year.  His purpose in doing so as he proceeded over the course of many weeks was to raise money for homeless students, as he traveled on foot through the many states it took to get him to Massachusetts.  Again, not only was I astonished at such a tremendous effort by this great example of a youth, the fact that this young man took it upon himself to help other homeless students, while making the world focus on issues that we should all do something about was just amazing.  In this story, they didn't mention any parents who were involved; however, I just know that there must have been many shining lights of individuals, who in some way helped him achieve such great accomplishments.  All of this makes me reflect on the strength and perseverance which is in all of us, as we await the different instances where we will need to call upon one of these super powers to help us get through one of life's hurdles. While I appreciate that a tough circumstance can create the impetus to achieve, I know for many of us, it is not a large obstacle that may be in our way.  For many of us, just getting out of our own comfort zone and being willing to step into a new direction can be the challenge.  What we have to rely upon is what brought us to these moments and the fact that our life experiences are the stepping stones, which we need to remember are beneath our feet already.  I hope all of you are able to find that grit and determination when you are in need and remember that if a 95-year-old person can raise the bar for all of us to achieve great things, then so can you!        

Leading During Unpredictable Times

I attended a conference during the last recession which was led by one of my longtime mentors, John Maxwell.  Although this happened many years ago, I was reminded of this session with regard to our own present period where we are facing a very high unemployment rate and so much economic uncertainty.  John spoke about many things that leaders must do, in order to overcome substantial obstacles that all of us face during tough times.  I went back to review my notes and I felt like this was the perfect time to go over some of what I took home as highlights of that powerful discussion. 

*Face reality - Look at the situation as it is. Talking about the good o'l days is not the reality 

*In unpredictable times, you have to believe in yourself. Share your beliefs as they are caught by those we lead. 

*Be passionate about what you do. Unpredictable times takes the energy out of people's lives. Passion gives you energy, it is the great energizer to help balance out your current reality. 

*Make good choices. Making choices on the front end with better thoughtfulness and intention will anchor you in the long run. Take the initiative during this difficult period and prioritize decisions that need to be made. "First things first". 

*Recall what you learned from bad experiences and put experience into play. Remember when we fail there are two leadership responses, one is to learn from a failure and the other is to lead with this knowledge.  Also, become astute about what you learn in difficult times, as it will help build your road map to recovery. 

*Value teamwork. John used the Mt. Everest analogy here, in that no one gets to the top of a mountain by themselves. If you think you got to the top of a mountain by yourself, it will take you an eternity to figure out how to get down. 

*Make it happen! When no one else is moving and you do, you win the race. Nothing predicts your future more than how you handle problems in your life.  Every problem holds a blessing in it, as he feels problems are messages that we need to pay attention to, even though they may not be what we want to focus on at first. 

*Watch your attitude. Don't sink with the circumstances.  You want your attitude to help shape your situation.  Ultimately, your attitude is your responsibility and until you take responsibility for yours, you will never have a good one. 

*Continue to persevere.  Dreams become our reality when we keep our commitment to them. 

*Nourish your relationships.  Friends and family are most important during difficult times as their support strengthens us.  It also feels much better to know that others understand the load you are carrying and they can help you emotionally with the weight and pressure you are feeling. 

Finally, after concluding his topics, John, left us with a different explanation for the word "ACT" for all leaders: A = Apply C = Change T = Teach. 

My greatest hope in all of the difficult times that we are undergoing right now is that we definitely learn from everything that we are facing.  Utilizing that knowledge with prescriptive determination can help us put together the type of plan which may help others to overcome their own unpredictable period, as we help light the way for those who follow in our footsteps. 

Strength

As we contend with a worldwide issue affecting the health of individuals along with the economic vitality of our communities, having strength to overcome this has become the reservoir that we must all rely on during these difficult times.  Having our daily routines altered so abruptly, has given us the opportunity to think about things which are most important to us and the perspective of seeking alternative ways to use our energy as we come to terms with the immediate new normal in our everyday living.  Although one may be limited in going to gyms or other favorite places to work out, we can also enlist our minds in this new regimen as well, as more than ever we must continue to find intellectual stimulation in the face of the barrage of messaging which keeps coming at us.  Many folks seek spiritual strength to help them in their moments of need, as hope becomes part of the foundation for how we need to move forward.  Others may lean on their friends and families to help them with the additional energy needed and as we are reminded that our inner circle provides the safety net in which many of us rely on.  What amazes me is the selfless dedication of medical staff and professionals who are put in harm’s way, in order for them to be able to do their jobs to protect and help heal those that are ill.  In addition, the grocery store workers, truck drivers, essential state employees, gas station attendants, police and armed forces, along with many of the restaurant employees willing to provide takeout food in order to help keep their businesses going, shows the resilience of our world.  None of us has a way to determine how quickly we may be able to get past this challenging period, however, I am sure that many stories will make their way to the surface of the unsung quiet heroes that helped so many in their time of need.  I have seen many of our small business restaurant owners doing so much more than just helping to feed the patrons which still come to them for take-out orders, in that they also are looking out for the vulnerable people who may not have the resources to buy food or face hurdles in getting to a store for their items of sustenance.  Many of these restaurants have given back in more ways than one within their respective communities. With people not having a lot extra these days, it is very heartwarming to see how there continues to be wonderful examples of the good in people, given the strenuous times we are all living in.  After a long day of hearing news and information that is primarily negative in nature, I seek respite in viewing or reading stories that continue to feed me with positive spoonfuls of satisfying messages that can help lighten the globe's heavy load.  Among my favorite are the many videos of animals who do extraordinary things or sometimes just funny moments captured on a device which makes one laugh and smile as it puts many things into perspective.  Others are inspirational messages and quotes which give me that short burst of energy which my mind was looking for.  Finally, taking a breath of fresh air outside while witnessing the blooming flowers which were ready for spring, also changes my perspective, in that nature reminds me that fresh new starts are coming.  I hope very much that all of you continue to stay safe and healthy now and in the days ahead.  I also look forward to highlighting a story or two in the near future about the wonderful and kind spirit that challenging times give birth to in the face of such adversity.  Peace and blessings to all of you!

“Strength does not come from physical capacity.

It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Gandhi

The Author

The traditional period of celebrating a New Year, brings with it a time to contemplate if we need to make some changes that we have been thinking about for some time in our lives.  Not necessarily resolutions, I am more inclined to believe that as we get older and have to adjust to our age, our lifestyles can also use a bit of a tune up as time catches up with us.  What motivates me is to watch people who are older than myself who are vibrant, active and living life to the fullest, without regard to what age they happen to be.  I have many friends who fall into this category and as such, they remain part of my inspiration of what can come in the chapters of my own life up ahead. As far as adjustments we can look at making, there are always many choices.  Many of them are traditional as perhaps we take a different look at the way we eat, exercise or handle money as the start of where we would like to see some modifications to occur.  Most of us forget that we are the authors of our own biography while we are still alive and we just need to be reminded about this sometimes.  Therefore there is no better time than when we say hello to a brand new January.   As the author of your life, you get an interesting choice in that you may have not selected the type of beginning your life had, however, you certainly get to map out how you want the rest of your life to play out.  In writing our own personal growth chapters, I also firmly believe that we need to ensure to learn from our mistakes and be careful not to repeat any of things which did not serve us well previously.  Hopefully, you are at a point in your life when you are able to recognize your achievement of wisdom that comes with age, as you look back with different eyes at the things that you learned.  I also would like to emphasize that life adjustments are not always easy and they take time to become habits.  Hence, it is important when making changes, to begin with small steps as you make your way towards goals.  Remember a good example is that any professional athlete did not get to the pinnacle of their sport overnight.  It has taken time and discipline to achieve a level of success which they were determined to get to, along with many setbacks before reaching their optimal objective.  Similarly, we can use those illustrations to remind us of how we want to proceed in our own journeys.  To help motivate yourself, find examples of the people you want to model yourself as, while taking a small step everyday towards making the changes you would like to see in your life.  Also ensure that you have a good inner circle of support which is your sounding board, which can provide positive reinforcement to let you know that you are capable of achieving your goals.  Finally, take moments to celebrate your milestones, as small as they may be.  These serve as opportunities to take a brief look back to see how far you have come and to encourage yourself in that you are most capable of achieving what you set out to.  Remember that as you continue to author your own story, you have the freedom and creativity to illustrate how great and joyous your life can be.  Therefore continue to add those chapters which you felt were missing thus far and I wish you much success as you get to finalize the story which you would be proud of for others to read. 

Happily Ever After

I was watching a story about a widow who had recently lost her husband of many years and during the interview she spoke tenderly about how they met and how their families did not foresee them getting married to each other when they were younger.  Like in many instances when parents want to exert their influence over whom the proper bride or groom should be for their beloved child, they ultimately want only the best for their offspring.  However, history has shown that what children want versus what a parent desires can be two very different things, in particular when it comes to matters of the heart.  The story of this person was no different and she did marry the love of her life, while proceeding to share a wonderful number of years together despite the obstacles which were part of their marriage.  When you recall the many unlikely couples through the course of time which may have been destined for failure, I think the more surprising number is of the many who did not make the headlines while going against the wishes of family and standing the test of time.  I thought about those families who spent years in a bitter feud or harboring resentment as a result of these types of situations, which was ultimately saddening that people are subjected to this negative draining energy and it could have been put to rest many years prior.  Think about how much stamina it can take to carry on in this manner day in and day out.  I am firm believer that it takes a huge amount of effort to consistently harbor negative emotions and when the stillness of night comes, those individuals may find it difficult to sleep given the lack of peace in their lives.  It can be challenging to stand up for one's principles, however, those with the courage to do so find that not carrying that large weight on their shoulders releases them from impassioned burdens.  We can all applaud those that stood up for what was right and as such, we should continue to champion the efforts of those who face scrutiny in the midst of them finding their true love.  For the many folks which decided to not pay attention to the opinions of the rest of the family, friends or other connected group, my hat is off to them.  I personally have known many individuals who were part of feud legacy which in some cases was created by the people which came before them.  It is interesting in retrospect how some folks hold on to the resentment of others without fully realizing why they were still doing so after many years.  To this, I heard a great quote in an interview recently, where someone stated that sometimes a journey which began a long time ago, must be concluded by the next generation.  For me, this came full circle in that the new generation has the capacity to end an old misunderstanding or ill feelings which have made their way to their present day living.  The opportunity to finally put an end to something which can bring peace of mind and release a heavy sentimental strain is worth it in paving a positive future ahead.  Whether the expectations of your prior generation came with legacy issues, it is up to you to determine what your next steps and future will look like.  My suggestion is that you paint the picture of the life you would like to see and be part of, with those individuals who add value to you and let go of things that no longer serve your best interest.  My wish is that your final chapter is filled with only the good things you cherish in order to meet your best expectations for a bright future ahead.  Hopefully, your tale will also end with a happily ever conclusion along with joy, peace and harmony as part of the closing credits.

Not All Storms Are In The Forecast

I am sharing my latest column to be published next month.

“Not All Storms Are In The Forecast”

 

By

 

Rob Claudio

I was listening to speaker talk about the issue of trying to remain calm during a storm a few weeks ago.  As I heard her words I then recalled having seen many inspirational quotes which have stated something similar, yet, I felt as if I needed to clarify a few things related to this statement before I could fully accept it.  First, it is true that worrying about things which you have little or no control over can chip away at your peace of mind, especially when our inclination is to take immediate action.  Easier said than done, is also the next thing which then flashes through my mind.  In going back to the speaker she also mentioned that many of the storms which we face in life were never part of the forecast, and on this point I am in complete agreement.  The reason is there are many examples through the course of my own life when I felt that I was not prepared to weather such a large storm, which I found myself immersed in as it arrived out of nowhere.  Think about the instance of having a car accident, which most of us can never predict when they will occur, yet, we have all been there in the aftermath of trying to figure out our next steps.  What may have seemed like a minor fender bender, can sometimes snowball into something much more serious along with the costs associated with this inconvenience.  So, what happens when your forecast gets altered so strongly, that all of a sudden you find yourself disoriented as you were not prepared for it and then have to figure out the best exit strategy for yourself?  For me the answer has gone back time and again to having faith in myself and my circumstance that I will be able to overcome these things with personal endurance, spiritual guidance and the knowledge that I have family and friends which can lend me their shoulder to lean on.  I know that this may seem more difficult if you feel that you lack a network of support and if you happen to be in that situation, then I say look to do good things even in the most minor way to help others, while you await a breakthrough for your own situation.  When faced with an obstacle, I don't have to go very far to realize and see examples of other people who are facing much bigger issues than I am.  When you put things into perspective and you begin looking at how to tackle small items before you can even get to the much larger ones, you essentially begin to put one foot in front of the other.  Before you know it, you realize that you are actually walking forward while stringing together these milestones which will eventually lead you to the place you needed to be.  The caveat to this is the fact that it may take longer than you thought was necessary and in many situations you may feel as if one day was more like one month.   However, I still challenge you to do good deeds and seek out someone else who may need some assistance in the middle of your own turmoil.  The minute you take your mind off of your own problems, is when your view of the challenge changes and it is also when I believe you then allow for the right energy to lead you in the direction you needed to go.  I think we can all agree that as long as we are living, we will face our share of obstacles on the road of life.  My hope for all of you is that you not lose sight of progress which can be found in helping someone else.  As an optimist I believe everyone will find their way to the right place and ultimately the destination will be filled with joy and peace of mind. I am also certain that all of us have the power to weather unforeseen storms which were never in our forecasts and the revelation that helping others when you also need assistance may sound counterintuitive. However, you will be surprised at how things can fall into place when you are no longer at the center of your own storm.

 

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine”
-Morris West

Simple Things

I am sharing a column to be published next month.

“Simple Things”

By

Rob Claudio

I was doing some house cleaning a few weeks ago, doing what I thought were typical mundane things as one normally does on the weekend.  When I got to my bedroom and began to change my sheets, my Siamese cat Diego would not let me put on the fitted sheet as he thought it was a game that we needed to play together.  Every time I attempted to spread the sheet, he would jump in the middle and twirl while grabbing on to a piece of it.  I went from saying "stop that" to just throwing the entire sheet over him, as I laughed at how he tangled himself up in all of it.  He then peered out of a corner every so often to see if our game was still going on, while I continued to have a good chuckle. I sat there and just enjoyed the funny moment which many cat owners I am sure can attest to, when their furry friends do similar mischievous things.  As I stepped outside with my hamper of laundry on my next to-do item, I continued to think about all of the moments we have in our lives when we are able to smile or laugh at what could be deemed as uneventful for some, yet they may create harmonious memories for others.  Then my opportunities of grinning junctures did not end with my own pet, as it continued at my brother's house where I had to do some late afternoon nephew sitting for the family dog, a Miniature Pinscher named AJ.   There I was met by the loud bark coming out of the smallest dog, with a personality ten times his size along with a big cuddly heart.  We went for the traditional walk and he tugged on the leash on an ongoing basis, as if to tell me we needed to go faster.  So much green territory to cover in a short amount of time, as I finally got what he was trying to impart to me through his quick sniffs and ongoing walking into the trees and bushes, only to periodically look back at me as if to say, "aren't you having fun?!"  I got to sit at a park bench and just take this other moment in afterwards, when I felt the appreciation of not only being outside on a beautiful summer afternoon, however, I also had some fun company that continued to make me laugh and smile through the bubbly personality of this energetic pup.  As I headed home and drove down some hills after leaving my brother’s home, I got to a stop light where there is another park and I could hear the laughing of children as they played and chased each other in what looked like a sea cushion of wispy green grass, through the screeching of kids having a great time.  It was one more opportunity to witness life's simple pleasures as I paid no ticket entry for this type of amusement, because it all exists for free.  My final reflections as I made my way back to my house, were that although this appeared to be a typical day filled with boring things to do, in my world, it was filled with life energizing moments which I could have missed, if I wasn't paying attention.  So, the next time you go for a routine walk with the family pet, or get the chance to sit in a park, perhaps go to the beach or just take a moment at your own favorite spot, drink it all in!  Remember that life is filled with lots of little things like these, some would even say simple things, which when viewed through a different lens can add the right splash of energy and create memories in a perceived typical ordinary day.   

“I like simple things. Elastic waists, so I can eat.”

-Barbra Streisand