I was invited to watch a professional baseball game on Saturday and although it was an exciting event, what happened after it was over was the actual highlight.  They were honoring military service men and women, with many tributes before and during the game.  Afterwards, we were treated to a game of three innings that highlighted the Wounded Warriors of Camp Pendelton and Sam Houston.  This group of heroes who had served their country and became disabled as a result were baseball athletes who still maintained their competitive edge, even though they had some disabilities to contend with.  I was captivated by a catcher on the Sam Houston team that lost his right leg from the knee cap down and was wearing a prosthetic that allowed him to play.  It was so overwhelming to see this young man who was so athletic and competitive as they played out these innings before the remaining crowd at the stadium.  Aside from the fact that these Wounded Warriors had to confront an enemy and were put in very dangerous situations, they came home with some hefty reminders of the price that is paid for freedom in our country.  These athletes could have given up playing the sport that they so loved after what happened to them physically and mentally.  However, they showed all of us in attendance that the human spirit can persevere and if you enjoy playing a sport such as baseball, you should not let any potential limitations keep you from it.  The moment also made me thankful for their courage and ability to put their country first that has allowed me the opportunity to maintain a somewhat normal existence here at home.  I can't say enough about what their sacrifices are and what they mean to all of us Americans, to have these young soldiers take on a job that comes with such high consequences.  In the moment I was reminded of the movies that I used to watch when I was very young, where the good guys would take on the bad guys.  I always rooted for the good guys and in the end they always seemed to win at the very last minute.  Looking at these individuals on the baseball field I also realized that they are actually the good guys and we all owe a large debt for what they have done for us.  There may be bad people who do evil things in the world, however, I was reminded that although those may exist, the fighting and determined spirit of the good guys will always win in the end.

I am sharing my latest column to be published next month. 

Inventing Your Life

“Learn To Be Fearless”

By

Rob Claudio

A newspaper story that I ran across this week, had a captivating depiction about a young woman who is top ranked in the sport of pole vaulting in the state of Texas, she also happens to be blind.  I tried to quickly envision how one could possibly compete in this sport without the use of eyesight.  As it turns out this determined fifteen year old high school student is a force to be reckoned with.  She is legally blind and cannot distinguish between shapes or shadows.  Everything that she does with regard to this physical activity uses her keen ability to be precise about the steps that she takes and calculating the exact time when the pole hits the ground in order to fly over the height bar.  From my recollection when I am able to view this athletic competition when the Summer Olympics are taking place, this sport looks challenging enough for any able bodied athlete.  The word “fearless” quickly came to mind, in reading more details about this individual as this was the perfect word that represented how she approached her life.  In our own world where we contend with various challenges and obstacles on a daily basis, I wonder how fearless we all are when we are presented with a hurdle that we need to get past?  Some people have a more dominate fearless gene versus others, however, I do believe that we can all exercise this muscle enough to increase its strength.  Perhaps some people may ponder why they should even consider accelerating this attribute.  I can only offer my perspective, in that there is something that occurs when you let go of your inhibitions and although you may feel vulnerable in the moment, it can come with a surprising level of fulfillment afterwards.  Having the strength or courage to face one’s fears also releases a lot of repressed negative feelings that may have existed or accumulated over time.  Another example is to look at how children depict this attribute as they are usually more fearless than we are as adults.  This could be in part that with experience and age, one is less likely to put themselves in uncomfortable situations and one can distinguish those more readily as time goes by.  There is something to be said for pushing one’s own boundaries as continued growth and self-actualization can proceed to take place, no matter what age or stage in life you happen to be at.  This young girl is a great example of what can be accomplished if we step out of our own comfort zone and not be defined by what others may perceive as a limitation.  At times, we can be our own worst critic and the primary influence to our perceived impediments.  Just think about the many things that you could accomplish if your daily philosophy was, “the sky is the limit”?  Now I am not saying that one should book the next sky diving adventure, in order to feel that sense of exhilaration or to push one’s boundaries to the extreme.  What I am saying is that we could allow ourselves to let go of what is comfortable and ordinary while we seek to experience things that can expand our horizons.  If you fail at something that you attempt, you can always learn something from the experience.  On the plus side, you may be successful in attempting something new that can change your perspective and allow you to grow even more.  Connect with your inner fearless self, similar to the girl in the news story or the child from your youth, while you throw caution to the wind.  Learn to stretch your boundaries to make room for the more developed self that you wish to be.  Finally, change your thinking and approach to life by erasing any boundaries that may have existed previously and eliminate drawing any further lines that may confine your ability to soar beyond any expectation.  

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose and to do it fearlessly.”
― Steve Maraboli

When you think about the things that you know now as opposed to what you knew when you were younger, it can take some time to fully absorb all of the changes that one has undergone.  For me the changes over time have caused ultimately positive changes, however, it may have taken some time to realize that things were in fact for my own good.  I am also a true believer that when we know better we do better.  Our lives are filled with many instances that if we could replay those moments such as on YouTube, it would be quite enlightening to see what we were like in those moments when we made some crucial life decisions.  In reflecting about all of this I was reminded about one of my favorite movies with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep, it was called, "Defending Your Life".  In this movie Albert dies and before he goes to Heaven, he has to defend the life that he had on Earth in a before Heaven place. He has an appointed attorney that is assigned to him and during the course of the defense, they play parts of his life back in short videos that are filled with examples of him demonstrating qualities such as bravery.  There is also an attorney arguing on the other side and showing vignettes of his life that demonstrate where he did not show good qualities and their position is that he should be sent back to Earth as he is not ready.  If I were to defend my life, I am not sure where I would begin to show the markers that I feel were the moments that enabled my respective good qualities to shine.  When I think about everything that has occurred in my life, it was a series of moments that were strung together that were able to give me the desired attributes that I am proud of today.  I have come to realize that things that happen in my life are here to teach me something, which was not always my philosophy.  I have also learned that when things are presented in my life more than once, I know that I probably did not learn the lesson the first time.  I would like to say that I have done better in knowing more or as wisdom has allowed me to be more cognizant of the consequences of my decisions.  The next time you get the opportunity to reflect on what you have learned over time, give yourself some credit for the things that you got right, while also allowing for additional opportunities of growth to still occur.  The path to personal growth is as varied as the geography on our planet.  Not all of it is the same and one must allow themselves to enjoy where they happen to be at, even though that may not be one's final destination.

I had the opportunity to do something that I had been wanting to do for a long time yesterday.  I had a great time, as I was surrounded by close friends and the occasion made me laugh and feel that I was part of something iconic.  As I drove home I began to think about the opportunities that we get when we want to check something off of our life's to-do list.  More times than not, I have found that I can come up with plenty of excuses as to why I do not have time or unable to allow myself to do some of these things.  It is not uncommon for most of us to put ourselves towards the end of our priorities, as we can feel a sense of guilt about putting ourselves first.  The thing is, time goes by so fast that before you know it, the opportunity for you to get to something, may have passed and then you may feel that perhaps it was not as important as you thought.  Careers, family and other home responsibilities are a great excuse for not being able to get to certain things.  However, we need to all do a better job of planning for those opportunities when they present themselves and sometimes be more direct and just schedule it.  Time will always be a moving target for many of us and our ability to fit things in, gets more difficult when you are trying to manage multiple responsibilities.  When we sit still in the early morning hours or late at night, we can clear our minds by thinking about the many things that we were able to accomplish during a long and busy day or perhaps planning on what you want to get done.  Yet, in those same moments, we should dedicate some specific time to reflect on the things that we want to accomplish for our own personal achievements and walk through the timeline that it will take to achieve it.  It is very difficult to achieve something that you cannot visualize first, so we all need to start visually mapping those items out so that we can eventually make them materialize in our lives.  Just because you put yourself first does not mean that you are self centered or selfish.  It just means that you are making yourself a priority which is a natural fit for how things should be in our lives.  Give time to items that need your attention and also give time to yourself.  The importance of prioritizing in one's life can not only lead to a more balanced existence, it can also provide for a better guide to achieving what you intend o accomplish.

"Change the way you look at things and and the things you look at change" is a quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer whom I admire and follow.  Not only do I completely agree with this, it can be the catalyst for one to live their life with this type of philosophy at any given time.  When I think about myself in my younger years, I do remember moments of self doubt and wishing that I had the life of someone else.  I guess like most young people, one wishes that they had lots of discretionary income, a model family that lives in a big house and lots of friends to call upon at any given time.  The truth is, I had to work for any extra income in my youth, however, I was blessed to have a grandmother who always had something extra for me.  The houses that I grew up in changed over time, however, they were never the kind that had the backyard pool. Where I did live we seemed to have plenty of space and there was always something to eat.  I know as a child it was a luxury to go to a fast food restaurant and for the most part ate homemade meals that were either cooked by mom or grandmother.  I did not not have the large group of friends that were super popular at school, however, I did have some very close friends and family members that were part of my support circle, who until this day are still a constant presence.  What I also grew up with was a positive attitude, even though it seemed to abandon me during my adolescent years.  I had a steady caring mother and grandmother who laughed when things went wrong and showed great resilience during my entire life.  When I read this quote today by Dr. Dyer, I completely got it, as I had been brought up to change the way that I looked at things.  I can't thank my family circle enough for having the fortitude to instill this type of thinking in me from such a young age.  Although challenges in life come and go, I feel that that being balanced all the time has become my goal.  I am grateful everyday that I am blessed to have another one and I always try to learn something new from each day.  How I look at things also comes with my inherited sense of humor, as everyday there is always something that I can laugh about or make me smile.  My advice to anyone who feels that they need a change in their life is to do what the quote says.  Think of the days in your life as having an opportunity to try out a new pair of sunglasses to look at the world through.  Don't keep wearing the same ones everyday, as it will not yield enough variety on how you view things.  As the days change, then change along with it and look at each day with those new pair of shades that can make you feel as if you were experiencing something new, different and positive.  Remember that you were not meant to live a mediocre life, you were meant to live an extraordinary life and that can be achieved by the attitude and perspective that you wake up with when the sun creeps in your room to greet you in the morning.

The power of intention teaches us that you will attract to you what you you really want. According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, "You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.”  What he explains is that there is a big difference between demanding something and allowing something to occur. When we demand things that we want, what can be troubling with this is that the exact way in how it manifests itself in our life, may not be exactly how you pictured it.  For instance, if you want to be surrounded by more people because you may feel that you are a bit lonesome, then all of a sudden you can potentially find yourself in a precarious situation with that intention.  More people around you could mean that they are needy people who constantly want something from you or perhaps they are individuals that live in constant negativity.  Although you may have gotten what you wanted, it may not have been the clear solution to your problem.  Sometimes people hope and pray that they get another job that pays them more money, which can help if you find yourself financially burdened.  However, if you were successful in obtaining that job, then you may find that you are actually working over sixty hours a week and you have little or no time for any social or family time, which then begs the question if it was worth it?  The point of dedicating time to thinking about what you really want is to ensure that you have a clear message that defines what your expectations are.  Sometimes we fail to ask ourselves about the little details that can make a huge difference in obtaining what we want in life.  Having more, can sometimes mean that you will be sacrificing more.  Whether it is time, money, relationships or something else of value, you need to think with a clear mind about what your intended outcomes should be.  Having a clear vision for yourself and being precise about the particular details associated with your vision, can be the difference between being satisfied and being fulfilled.  Think about allowing things to occur as you had envisioned them, as opposed to demanding that they happen right away. When you think about the things that you want to have in your life in the future, don't leave out the details.  The power of intention does not read between the lines, so you have to be your own author that writes the script of how you want your life to play out.

Can you imagine what your life would be like if you were able to correct mistakes instantly, like on most cell phones with an auto correction feature?  This thought intrigued me this afternoon, when I was typing a message to someone and as the feature corrected the word I wanted to use, it made me wonder about having this feature available to us during the course of our everyday lives.  If it did exist, I think we could learn to become quite dependent on the fact that we would depend on something else for making our decisions.  Having this could certainly rob us of the ability to learn from our mistakes, because living in this type of world we probably would be less likely to make them.  The result would also diminish our resilience in attempting to overcome an obstacle and the concept of a hard lesson learned would be eliminated from our existing vocabulary.  The truth is, that although lessons are tough and in some instances they can feel quite painful, we end up growing so much as a result of the experience.  As children we learned that if we touched the stove and it was hot, we would get burned.  Usually, it did not take more than once to realize that you are not supposed to do this based upon the consequence.  In life, we too utilize our lessons in the same manner, in trying to not repeat something that did not feel right or brought us negative ramifications.  Our ability to walk through a problem and live in those moments that make us vulnerable, is also our ticket to the solution in many instances.  When we begin to pray, meditate or simply sit in silence in the midst of a storm, we are usually filled with some level of hope that we will able to get past this turbulent period.  In addition, we get this will and energy that allows us to get up and move on.  If we had an app that did this for us, then we would not grow as much or be able to share with others how we were able to find success during our times of need.  Strength usually comes from within ourselves and unless we have peeled enough layers from the outside of who we really are, it may be more difficult to reach that much needed place that will allow us to succeed.  The next time that you have an opportunity to marvel at technology, which I do believe makes our world much better at times, we should also reflect on the fact that nothing can replace the human experience.  Whether it is positive or negative, the result makes us stronger and more knowledgeable.  Our children and grandchildren may learn about things via an electronic mechanism, however, nothing can ever replace the learning that is accomplished through the human experience.  When a wise person finds you and whispers some sage words that can bring you comfort and allow you to look at things differently, is the moment that you realize that the human touch is infinitely more valuable.