Guides Among Us

I watched a great film the other day that was the epitome of perseverance, as it highlighted the plight of the underdog and how one can will themselves to do great things, especially when nobody else thought it was possible.  Aside from it being a great feel good movie, there were a lot of elements in it that reminded me of some of the circumstances that many of us have had to overcome in our lives.  For instance, if a person grew up in a family where they were not provided with a lot of encouragement or their upbringing was part of an ongoing struggle that was transferred to them, they grew up with emotional scars that can be very tough to heal.  It is bad enough that everyone can struggle with self esteem along with self confidence as part of growing pains, however, when you start adding other components to an already tough situation, then a life walk can have some very steep steps.  For some people who have had to contend with many difficulties in their lives, it can feel like someone is always walking uphill.  People never realize until a much later time that a tough progression can have multiple positive effects on a person, especially when you have perspective of what can define achievement.  Yet, none of it is immediately apparent as a lesson when presented, as it is usually a tough moment to absorb.  What we typically learn about ourselves when we have overcome a particular tough period is that it taught us how resilient we can be  Most individuals can recall tough times that they experienced in their childhood, much more vividly than when they were adults.  Because our formative years are filled with many experiences that enabled us to learn about ourselves and the world around us, we all grow up with varied degrees of exposure to life's school of emotions.  One of the things that I found and later looked forward to, is that at one point or another someone came onto your path, which caused positive emotions or reactions that made you feel that things were going to be alright.  These individuals had the wisdom and power to show us that a bad experience can be utilized for a greater purpose.  If I had a term for any of these individual I would call them guides, as they provided light to us in some of our most difficult circumstances.  The effect of a guide in our lives can be transformative, as all of us can remember somebody that we connected to, who made us feel that we could achieve our life's dreams.  Some people had a great teacher, others had a family friend or perhaps it was your own parent that provided you with the words that you needed to hear in order to feel that sense of comfort you needed.  We should all be so thankful if we can name one or two guides that made an impact in our lives and how we ended up becoming who we are today, because of their impact.  As an adult, I learned that while I may have been lucky and fortunate for having someone who showed me the way when I needed it, there were others around me that either missed the signal completely or were not receptive to what a guide was telling them.  People that grow up with bitterness and resentment for something that they endured can have the most difficult experiences in their personal growth, because they have accumulated years of wounded feelings and the painful memories.  Some people find comfort in living with a victim mentality versus that of a survivor perspective, simply because they become accustomed to those feelings and are not willing to forgive, in order to let the healing process take its course.  I don't know why it is that some people have had to suffer during their evolutionary process, while others seem to rarely have that type of experience in their lives.  However, I do know that resilience, strength and the will to achieve are the foundation to those that experienced the harder life and as such tend to raise the bar for their own expectations.  As in the movie that I saw, what was deemed a losing proposition for many, ended up becoming the catalyst for unprecedented success.  A story that can have deep motivational threads within it, will always appeal to me as I love a great lesson told with a meaningful ending that everyone can relate to.  If you happen to see someone that is in need of a guide, don't hesitate to shine your light in their direction.  You never know how you can impact another person during their time of need and more importantly, we all owe the guides that came before us the ability to pay them back when ever the opportunity arises.

An Enriched Life

I was observing a discussion not too long ago about how people from different cultures treat their pets.  They were commenting on the American culture and how we in this country have these unique relationships with our pets that raise the status of them equal to family members.  As much as I wanted to say no that was not true, I had to chuckle because inside I knew that it was a more accurate description than not.  In different parts of the world, animals serve a particular purpose in their role of a household.  In many cultures, a dog is used for security purposes, to alert their masters of impending intruders or for warning purposes when they bark at something in the middle of the night.  Then I heard how cats are used in other countries as part of the extermination process of keeping mice or other rodents out of their homes or other buildings.  It was interesting for me to listen to all of this because I am an animal lover and I believe that part of our harmonious balance in the world means that we have also developed special kinds of relationships with all beings, not just people.  I can remember as a child that I wanted a dog and it took a lot of convincing and several years before I was deemed responsible enough to care for one.  It was one of my happiest memories when I think about that moment when I was given a puppy that transformed who I was and I felt that immediate connection to this wonderful animal, that only wanted to be near me and play.  My formative years as a child were shared with my trusted dog and later on, one of my grandmother's friends also gave me a pair of Siamese kittens, that became part of my inner circle at home.  As our family life took twists and turns through the years, the constant in all of those periods was that I always had three sets of ears that were willing to listen to anything that I wanted to talk about.  My family pets were content with a scratch on the neck, all the while looking at me with a calming sense that everything was going to be okay.  When I think about how these wonderful creatures grew up alongside me and shared in my moments of happiness and the darker moments of pain,  I have only gratitude in my memories of them for all of that unconditional love that they embraced me with on a daily basis.  After going to college and then beginning a career soon after, it seemed like I was absent from having a pet near me for many years, as I was caught up in all of the routine things that limited my attention and time at home.  Then several years ago, my younger brother decided that I needed to have a pet at home and began looking for a Siamese cat for me to rescue, as he knew that I was too busy and not home enough to have time for a dog.  We managed to find an elderly cat that was in need of a home, due to the owner who was suffering from Alzheimer's disease and would forget to feed her.  Although the circumstance by which I ended up adopting that cat, it was a renewed experience to have a pet at home again.  She had her own ailments and although she spent many years with me, I saw her go in her old age to a happier place that was no longer part of my world.  It is always difficult to say goodbye to family pets, as they took a special place in our hearts and for me was one of the first lessons in experiencing how life does come to an end at some point.  However, my grandmother taught me from a young age, that none of us are going to be on this Earth forever and so it goes with our beloved people along with our cuddly creatures, that are here for a purpose, a reason or a season after it is all said and done.  My last pet adoption occurred about nine years ago, when I decided to rescue a Siamese kitten from a shelter and this particular bundle of happiness was only six months old when he became part of the family.  I have spent countless hours playing with him and laughing at his antics over the years, which on the toughest of days can wipe away my heavy thoughts and brings a smile to my face.   I am still filled with that special gratefulness of having another great creature to walk alongside me for another part of my own life's journey.  I know that there are many animal lovers out in the world and some have done a lot to advocate for better and ethical treatment of them and I applaud all of those who take on a greater role in defending those who cannot speak.  A person that falls in love with another individual can create the most magical relationship that can last a lifetime and wonderful memories that can stand the test of time. I would also like to add a footnote to living a full life, in that having someone that offers you unconditional love, such as a family pet. can add to the richness that already exists.  I hope that in your many memories stored in your life's archives, you still have those pictures and moments in your life when you experienced the love of a family pet.  May those great recollections that existed along with the new one's in the making make you smile when you think about them and I hope they also make you feel grateful for the added value that they brought to your life.

Your Inner Song

I had a great morning a couple of weeks ago and although I thought about writing down my experience right away, it has taken me a bit longer to recoup my memory of that unique wintry day.  As I was working on pruning flowers and plants outside, I kept hearing the loud chirps of the many birds that make the trees in front of my house their home.  I also have a hummingbird feeder out on my balcony, as they are my favorite bird for a variety of reasons and this morning there would be a periodic hover made by several of them as I toiled outside.  Over the years I have come to recognize the chirp and sounds from a hummingbird as they are very distinct and this morning there was one particular bird that was sitting on the smallest of branches not too far from where I was.  After a period of time I came inside the house and was watching the bird through my glass door as I noticed that it flew right into my balcony.  It then proceeded to sit on a string of outdoor lights that are close to the door and faced towards me.  Immediately it began to make squawking noises and began to belt out a song in its unique chirpy voice, which simply was entrancing.  As I walked towards the balcony and looked at it through the glass door, I could see it very vividly with the most beautiful garnet red colored head flashing in the sun, as it tilted its head and continued its song.  I was surprised that it did not scare away from me, although I was still on the other side of the door and even though it periodically looked at me, his or her song kept warbling on as loud as its tiny lungs allowed it to.  Not only did the experience bring a smile to my face, I marveled at the passionate song that this charming creature performed for me as another lesson from nature was clearly becoming evident.  My immediate thoughts turned to the song that all of us have inside of us, that holds the type of passion that would allow us to feel exuberant about what life in the moment means for everyone.  This reflection made me think about the many things that we are all ardent about and if we could write a song that clearly communicated those emotions, I wondered what would that sound like to the rest of the world?  As humans we don't necessarily chirp, however, we use words to express our feelings while we sometimes add melodies to lyrics in order to transform the two into a meaningful song.  Everyone has things that they are deeply passionate about and our journey through life can take us to different instances, when those things are more greatly manifested than others.   If you were to ask individuals many would tell you that their family, religious beliefs or some other personal cause may be the specific reason that they feel they were born and connected to their purpose for being here.  For me I know that time continues to alter the things that I am passionate about, which I believe is a good thing.  What was an important cause for me as a youth has continued to evolve with my thinking and exposure to the rest of the world.  We are formed by the life experiences that we have had and that is part of the uniqueness in all human beings.  What would be ideal for all of us as we try to make sense of a world that can sometimes appear to be in total chaos, is that we minimize the noise that is externalized around us and listen to our inner song to help guide us in the direction that we were meant to be.  I do hope that people pay closer attention to what their internal song is, as I know that many may waive off that sound as something, but they are not quite sure what it is.  Passion is inside all of us and when you do things that bring a smile to your face along with making you feel better about who you are without an audience around you, can be a revelation about what your internal fervent reasons for being are.  The next time you pass by a chirping feathered creature, remember that they may be reminding you of something with great meaning about nature and life itself.  Perhaps they were placed in your path as as a simple reminder about the anthem that is waiting to manifest from you.  In your quiet moments., listen for your song to guide and reveal more about who you really are as you embrace the beautiful melodies that have been waiting for your acknowledgement.  Life can be more vivid, bright and full of joy, if you decide to have that expectation.  Remember that you are the author of your own life and the song inside of you is determined by the person who writes it.

Layers

Today I am sharing a column that will be published in a couple of newsletters shortly.

 Inventing Your Life

“Layers”

BY

Rob Claudio

When you think about what transpires within our lives during the course of a year, one just has to marvel at how much can take place along with the growth that came from each unique experience.  All of us grow towards being older and wiser with the passing of time and as the years progress, we hope to have also imparted some of our knowledge to others by way of the legacy we left behind.  Ideally we would like to see that our added years of life are getting us closer to being more of who we were meant to be.  One of my favorite ways to look at my own personal growth is to recall my younger years when I had many aspirations along with hopes and dreams of where I would be by the time I got to be a certain age.  As I think back to the dreams of my youth, I can recall having a fancy car, a large home with a swimming pool and being able to purchase what I wanted without thinking about the cost as part of my ideal goals. Then as I look at my life now, I find that my list of expectations have little to do with the materialistic items that my younger self wanted.  In observing what is happening in the world right now, I see great beauty in many places and people, while at the same time I see chaos and strife which can be conflicting to behold all at once.  It is difficult to accept sometimes that we as a people could not have moved our world more quickly to a better place by now, especially with the number of struggles that you see still occurring.  Therefore my hopes and dreams at this point have turned to those of living a more simplistic life that is filled primarily with the purpose of abundant inner peace.  As I think about the contributions that I make in this world, I feel even more interested in how I can help others that may need assistance.  I have learned that although we may be in a place at times where we require aid from others, there will always be people who are more in need than we are.  Not putting ourselves first and having gratitude for the many things that have created a bountiful life, from a personal perspective, have shown me what is of greater value at the end of each day and passing year.  My belief is also that my growth is similar to others, in that we as adults are living a life that is more in tune with what we really want for the remainder of our years on this earth.  Therefore, it is my continued hope that as we evolve through the coming years ahead, the layers that make up who we are keep peeling away to get us closer to the core of who we were truly meant to be. In addition, we would all be better served by leaving all of those other layers that no longer serve us in the past where they belong.  If you think about layers in those terms, think about how having more of them can weigh you down and as you eliminate them, you feel lighter and less bogged down.  As the year ahead carries new things for us to learn with lessons and other dynamic activity, we can also contemplate walking with a lighter step as we leave old issues, worries and items that have no more value in our distant past.  We should strive to be purposeful with good intentions while we walk towards our ideal goals.  In addition, remember to be helpful to others around you, as those actions can yield great results for people in need, while it bestows upon you a feeling of peaceful content.  Layers like those of a beautiful blooming flower, when they are shed, can showcase a more vibrant and amazing creation which can transform a life from ordinary to remarkable.    

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told:

“I am with you kid.  Let’s go.”

-Maya Angelou

Emerging Growth

I was passing by some pine trees the other day after a wintry storm had just moved out of the area.  I noticed that among these very large trees that have been there for quite some time, there was new growth springing from the bottoms and sides of the trees.  It made me marvel at the fact that although age has its impact of time, there are new things that can flourish from that which could be considered old.  I always look for the opportunity when nature can teach me a lesson or just remind me sometimes about the parallels that it holds equal to our own lives.  It was an enlightening moment for me and also a happy one, as I knew that similar to where we happen to be on our life's journey, we can expect to have new growth at different intervals.  For some, it could mean going back to obtain new education via schooling or training, which can bring that new chapter filled with possibilities.  For others, it may mean that you have come to a conclusion in a relationship that no longer bears any fruit and as a result a decision to move on, although uncomfortable at first, may yield a new invigorating period ahead.  Many people around the globe after experiencing the New Year, make resolutions as well and chief among them are the one's related to better health or achieving financial stability.  Although I like resolutions, for they make people state something out loud that they want to change about themselves, they tend to lose momentum for many if the person was not resolved to make the necessary adjustments to help achieve their goal.  That is why I believe for change to occur, that anything that is stated must be followed by a written word, as it gives deeper meaning to the well intended consequences.  None of us are immune from having had those resolutions that were not achieved, which is why it makes better sense to approach your life shifts with a different perspective.  Consider altering your way of being and adapting new methodology that will aid in your arrival to your desired destination.  Say it, write it and tell someone close to you what your goals are, so that not only do you create an environment that is expecting to change, you are also helping yourself in being accountable towards your actions.  There is nothing like having someone that you trust or is close to you, to remind you about the path you wish to take at different stages.  That is why I would also suggest that you pick the right person to hold you accountable, so that your trust and confidence in them is not an issue if they need to remind you at some point.  I also like to think of change as constant, where you do not need a new year to go by to give you the impetus to create a new dynamic.  You may want to adjust your own thinking as it pertains your journey forward in the coming months, by giving yourself a realistic timeline that includes how much you would have liked to achieve and by when.  Altering your perspective to incorporate changes may not always go smoothly in the beginning, however, given what you may gain from your pursuit will hopefully tilt the scale in the right direction for you.  As you proceed with the ensuing year of 2015 ahead, remember how trees that have been here longer than us, have the capacity for new growth and that age is not a factor.  Similar to our majestic sapling reminders among us, we can also experience improvements and prosperity if we put forth the effort and create the right environment for this to occur.

Preparing To Shift

When you think about the instances when some type of shift happens, there is a moment of pause that makes one reflect on what is about to transpire.  If we think about the shift in the weather, we get a notice of some sort that the elements are about to make some significant changes that may alter how we dress, commute or perhaps plan for travel.  Most of these things when they occur are a bit unexpected, until you realize there is no way to tailor Mother Nature's course and instead  of expecting the pattern to change, we are the one's that have to make the adjustments.  As I was thinking about all of this recently, I thought about our own ability to shift as well.  One of the other thoughts I had as I contemplated the word shift, was when I first learned to drive a car.  I fondly remember our old Plymouth Valiant, which had the gears on the steering column was the car that I learned how to drive in.  When I was young many vehicles had a standard transmission and learning to shift gears was part of the training that took place if you wanted to drive a car.  As I think about all of this in my current experience, I see how similar the motion of shifting can be to our regular lives.  When you shift a gear in a car there may be some immediate hesitance, because you have to find the right balance between the clutch and gas pedal, all the while keeping a firm hand on the gear shift.  It is a matter of multi-tasking while keeping your eyes on the road that when done properly, allows the vehicle to finally move forward in incremental speeds.  As I think about how this relates to life itself, I can certainly see some interesting similarities.  If we want to shift and do something different in our lives, we have to pause a moment and contemplate what that may ultimately mean to us.  There are always ramifications to any action and we have to be prepared to identify what most of those are, as our resolve helps us to make the full commitment of following through to any change.  Also similar to shifting gears in a car, the process may not go smoothly at first.  Especially as you get used to the cadence and rhythm of the gears going forward.  A shift of any capacity can cause an alteration that may be minimal for some, yet significant for others.  Interestingly, the process of how you react to all of this is determined by the conditioning you have undergone through out your life.  If you are expecting changes all the time and have made it part of your everyday existence, then it is expected when it happens and there are very little or no surprises.  However, resistant behavior to change can become an obstacle that can cause further consequences of a negative nature.  Rather than focusing on why change could be interpreted with a non-positive reaction, I say that you must condition your mind for this consistent expectation.  When I think about all of the shifting that can occur within the span of one year, I am almost in awe of the amount of items that I can count during the course of that twelve month experience that have altered a different course.  We can get very used to living in our own comfort bubble of sorts, where the status quo becomes the norm.  However, there tends to be a lack of vitality that can accompany this type of thinking.  I would rather live a life that is filled with possibilities that causes me to think about what new learning lies for me within the near horizon.  I am hopeful that this is also how others would strive to live as well.  Ultimately, we can be the type of people that struggle with life shifts on an ongoing basis, or we can learn to transition smoothly as we pick up speed.  The question is ultimately how do you wish to proceed with your life?  My desire in others would be that you choose to accept all changes with open arms, as they will ultimately allow you to grow and become more of the person that you are striving to be.  Remember to prepare your thinking for change as it being constant and the more comfortable you find yourself aligned with this thinking, the easier your future shifting will be.

Believe

As things are in full swing with the holiday season upon us, I have noticed a lot of clever ads that were designed to attract people with purchasing power to be able to spend their discretionary dollars at particular retailers.  Most have a heart warming ad that evokes the emotions associated with loved ones getting together for the holidays and celebrating the moment.  One particular campaign caught my eye with a simple one word written copy that stated, "Believe".  I thought this was clever as it covered a myriad of beliefs including all religions, without favoring any.  For myself, I liked the fact that there could be a unifying word that people could rally around and actually come together regardless of their beliefs, in order to spread goodwill and holiday cheer.  When I look around for other examples of how this can manifest itself, it becomes a bit more difficult to discern among the many commercialized aspects of our festive season.  I have seen people lose their spirit, while they are trying to exit a freeway near a mall that is jam packed with cars as far as the eye can see.  On a different occasion, there was the circling of cars looking for an open spot at a store and the determined looks on drivers illustrating how frustrating this side effect of a cheerful period can be.  All of which makes you wonder if our priorities are in the right place along with regard to why we believe that this period is so special. Conversely, there are many other joyful examples that have been shared that I have also witnessed which quickly make me change perspective.  In particular, with people that have their college children that were away at school and are making their way back home for an extended winter break.  For those with children of this age, I see how proud the parents are and how they beam with excitement as they welcome their children who appear to have matured and blossomed during their time away.  Again if you reflect on the word believe, then all of this can encompass your beliefs about life and how things come together at their appropriate time.  One of my favorite things to look forward to, is the traditions that we have fostered over the years as we recount how the past generations in our families laid the groundwork for how we celebrate today.  Whether it is the cooking of specific dishes, the decorating of our homes or the religious celebrations that we partake in through-out the season, they all add up to the experiences that have come to mean so much to us.  As we continue on with our list of to-do items and holiday preparations, I think it is important to reflect on why this period is so meaningful to all of us, while we also pause to remember the many individuals that are no longer here that formed the basis for many of our traditions.  Remember to share with your children or young relatives why you "believe" this season is so special along with your meaning for this complex word.  It is my hope that more people take a moment to stop and take this time in and be present.  Remember we are never guaranteed to live through another season and we must be thankful for all of the time that is now archived with our wonderful memories, rich traditions along with the faith in our beliefs for why this period is so special to all.