I have always wondered what makes someone's life perspective either the glass half full vs. a glass half empty. Even more importantly, why wouldn't you want to change your view if given the opportunity? In my experience with people, I have found those individuals with the glass half empty seemed to work a lot harder at trying to prove their theory.  Looking for constant ways to show how their way of thinking was the true way of the world, always made me laugh.  I have found that living with the glass half full makes for a more enjoyable existence.  I don't have to pay attention to what is wrong in the world, there are enough people who do that.  I would much rather walk through life with an optimistic view, and worry less about the little things.   Fill your glass with lots of things that make it over flow with what is right and brings you daily joy.  Your actions will begin to attract those that think like you as time goes on and surprisingly you will find less of the other folks in your inner circle as a result.  

Today I am revisiting a previously published column.

Inventing Your Life

“Putting Yourself First”

By

Rob Claudio

The last edition of my column, I published an article on giving yourself permission to change and I received a number of follow up comments from readers.  I saw some of the comments that I received and I noticed the thread of self esteem as a major issue that may prevent people from taking those steps needed in bringing change to their lives.  So, I decided that one of the follow up conversations I would have in this column, was on the basic and yet difficult issue of putting yourself first.  How many of you have thought about this and due to one reason or another, you ended up being 3^rd or 4^th or last on the list of your priorities?  As difficult as this may be for a lot of you, it is one of the keys to unlocking your personal success on your way to life long change.  First lets address the self esteem thread in the responses that I kept getting.  Having good self esteem if it was not nurtured in you from the very beginning as a child, is a life long lesson for most of us. I grew up with self esteem issues  and some were passed on to me as well.  It took some time, but I realized as an adult that some of those issues belonged to someone else and not me. I needed to make a choice as an adult that I could embrace the attributes that I had and begin to add others as I went forward. There are many things that can cause a lack of this, however, it is a must for people to recognize they have self worth and that although you may not have had the best beginning in life, you certainly are in charge of how you handle what happens to you now. You cannot blame someone else for what you think you were supposed to be, rather take the best of what was given to you and keep adding to your personal growth. Acknowledging those things that may not be big to others, but are significant to you is where it begins.  Build upon those qualities that other people admire, you do have them, just ask your best friend (s) or someone that you trust.  These are the building blocks of good self esteem.  Remember you have to be your own nurturer on this journey and you have to surround yourself with people that add value to you and not take away from who you really are.  Being around people that constantly put you down or have negative comments about what you look like or what you do, is a reflection of their own insecurities and not yours.  I hope you get this.  I have been around some of those folks through out my lifetime and I made up my mind to leave them behind and let them wallow in their own world of negativity and I screened them out of my life for my own good. Those are some of the difficult choices that you have to make as you begin to change from the inside out. As a result, my circle of friends became smaller, however, it is filled with only those people that add value to me and I in turn do my best to add to theirs.  I like to think of it as my quality circle not the quantity circle. It takes time, however, not as long as you may think.  Now for the part of not putting yourself first, all you have to do is run into the challenge of not having good health or some other life changing issue that makes you realize that you must be first or nothing else can be built on that personal platform.  I know some of you may have children, spouses or other family members that all require something of you.  Yet, it is key to understand that you will run out of energy, personal desire and self fulfillment if you put everyone else ahead of you. Let me be clear, I am not suggesting that you become selfish for the purposes of driving people away from you. It is simply putting the right priorities in place. Remember YOU are important and if somebody did not tell you this over your life time, let me remind that you were created for a purpose and that you add so much to this world by being the unique and quirky you…. I definitely believe that we are all quirky…that is what makes us unique and great in the universe.  Finally, remember to nourish your soul and spirit by surrounding yourself with things that are good for you  & bring you joy, as a result you will be able to do more for your loved ones because it begins with you first! 

“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow”
- Doug Firebaugh

When I was driving home today, I notice the beautiful clear skies after a couple of days of rainy weather.  I felt the cool breeze hit me and wake me up, as the trees have turned bright green and the leaves swayed in the distance.  At times it is good just to take everything all in and be thankful that the storms have passed.  As in life, when we have our own personal storms to contend with, the feeling that they are in your rear view mirror brings a sense of relief and accomplishment.  Don't forget to acknowledge what you have achieved and how far you have come.  Never think that your accomplishment may be too small in comparison to someone else, as your benchmarks in your life are yours and nobody else's.  Enjoy the Spring air, the new blossoms and blooms and enjoy the place you happen to be in today.

A season, a reason or a lifetime.  This is part of a famous quote that describes why people may come into our lives.  I am also of the belief that this can apply to our family pets, as they may not live as long, yet they leave a long lasting imprint.  I was having a conversation today with someone who will be making a change in their life shortly. The person felt sadness in that they would be leaving their familiar surroundings along with some key people that they have become close to.  I thought about this after our conversation as it reminded me of this quote.  The one thing that I know for sure is that life is not boring.  Things change whether we wish for them to or not.  The mere fact that we age and wisdom comes with that, should be enough reason for us to want to have this happen to us.  Yet, we are human and emotions are part of our complexity and so goes the feeling of not wanting to lose someone that is very close to you.  All people make a lasting impact in our lives.  We learn from people that we did not like so much, the qualities in others we want to avoid.  From the others that brought so much into our lives, we keep them close to our hearts as they continue to add value to us, even after they have moved away or are long gone.  As we grow older it becomes even more important to acknowledge those that are near and with us, as they are the season and the lifetime individuals that stay with us through the rest of our lives.  Time on earth is never guaranteed, so remember to celebrate those individuals for the season, the reason or a lifetime that made you who you are today.    

One of life's concepts that has taken me a while to become better at is that of being consistent. One of the definitions associated with this term is; constantly adhering to the same principles, course or form. When you think about your own life and notice opportunities for improving your consistency, think about this definition. If we had a little more of this in our lives, it could make a big difference in how we react to certain things or navigate in our daily journey. To me being consistent can relate to values, what you eat and avoid eating or perhaps even when you sleep. When things are consistent in my life, I find that there is a more harmonious feeling all around and things are working in sync. This does not mean that you have to be boring by being repetitive, that is an entirely different thing. As you plan your days or weeks ahead, think about the things that you do with consistency. Your habits, if they need improving, then perhaps are in need of a change. Your ability to address those things that you have identified with consistency can lead you down the path that will bring you more balance and a little more harmony as a result.

Although inspiration can come from that which speaks to you, our lives become so busy that we may fail to see those little things that can add up to great joy.  A few days ago I was outside watering my plants and I had a small red crested hummingbird fly right in front of me.  It stayed and hovered for quite some time and I just smiled as it went about its work.  I was quite awed by this colorful creature who appeared quite fearless and confident as he stared right at me.  I could not help but freeze and take the moment in and laugh at what a great sight this was.  The bird decided to move about the plants and decided he would pay a visit to some blooming flowers, periodically looking back at me as it floated about.  This small moment was so powerful for me that it became part of my daily inspirational inventory.  I keep these moments with me, for those periods when things are less than inspiring.  All of these types of moments strung together provide me the energy to move forward and forget that there are things that are not right in our world. Whether it is a child's laughter, someone at a bus stop that was genuine and kind or a beautiful landscape that brings you this type of inspiration, I suggest you add it to your own personal inventory.  With out question, your days will feel more fulfilled and you will realize how abundant your life truly is.

As Spring weather turned stormy recently, I was reminded about how in our own lives we go through the same types of changes.  We may be in a good place and everything is going our way and all of a sudden something occurs which turns our lives into a tailspin.  What gets you through some of these more difficult times?  Although it took me years of practice, I had to have faith that at the end of each day, everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to.  Sometimes we do not see how or why we are going through certain things.  In my own experience I became resolute in learning the lesson, what ever it was and being consistent in my appreciation for what I had.  Having to be grateful during difficult times, was hard to adjust to, yet it always paid off in knowing that my burden was nothing compared to someone else.  I hope that you have the confidence to know that things will always work out and growth & wisdom comes from each experience.  Remember that after a storm, there are clear skies ahead, flowers will bloom and birds will resume their song.