I have always wondered what makes someone's life perspective either the glass half full vs. a glass half empty. Even more importantly, why wouldn't you want to change your view if given the opportunity? In my experience with people, I have found those individuals with the glass half empty seemed to work a lot harder at trying to prove their theory.  Looking for constant ways to show how their way of thinking was the true way of the world, always made me laugh.  I have found that living with the glass half full makes for a more enjoyable existence.  I don't have to pay attention to what is wrong in the world, there are enough people who do that.  I would much rather walk through life with an optimistic view, and worry less about the little things.   Fill your glass with lots of things that make it over flow with what is right and brings you daily joy.  Your actions will begin to attract those that think like you as time goes on and surprisingly you will find less of the other folks in your inner circle as a result.  

Today I am revisiting a previously published column.

Inventing Your Life

“Putting Yourself First”

By

Rob Claudio

The last edition of my column, I published an article on giving yourself permission to change and I received a number of follow up comments from readers.  I saw some of the comments that I received and I noticed the thread of self esteem as a major issue that may prevent people from taking those steps needed in bringing change to their lives.  So, I decided that one of the follow up conversations I would have in this column, was on the basic and yet difficult issue of putting yourself first.  How many of you have thought about this and due to one reason or another, you ended up being 3^rd or 4^th or last on the list of your priorities?  As difficult as this may be for a lot of you, it is one of the keys to unlocking your personal success on your way to life long change.  First lets address the self esteem thread in the responses that I kept getting.  Having good self esteem if it was not nurtured in you from the very beginning as a child, is a life long lesson for most of us. I grew up with self esteem issues  and some were passed on to me as well.  It took some time, but I realized as an adult that some of those issues belonged to someone else and not me. I needed to make a choice as an adult that I could embrace the attributes that I had and begin to add others as I went forward. There are many things that can cause a lack of this, however, it is a must for people to recognize they have self worth and that although you may not have had the best beginning in life, you certainly are in charge of how you handle what happens to you now. You cannot blame someone else for what you think you were supposed to be, rather take the best of what was given to you and keep adding to your personal growth. Acknowledging those things that may not be big to others, but are significant to you is where it begins.  Build upon those qualities that other people admire, you do have them, just ask your best friend (s) or someone that you trust.  These are the building blocks of good self esteem.  Remember you have to be your own nurturer on this journey and you have to surround yourself with people that add value to you and not take away from who you really are.  Being around people that constantly put you down or have negative comments about what you look like or what you do, is a reflection of their own insecurities and not yours.  I hope you get this.  I have been around some of those folks through out my lifetime and I made up my mind to leave them behind and let them wallow in their own world of negativity and I screened them out of my life for my own good. Those are some of the difficult choices that you have to make as you begin to change from the inside out. As a result, my circle of friends became smaller, however, it is filled with only those people that add value to me and I in turn do my best to add to theirs.  I like to think of it as my quality circle not the quantity circle. It takes time, however, not as long as you may think.  Now for the part of not putting yourself first, all you have to do is run into the challenge of not having good health or some other life changing issue that makes you realize that you must be first or nothing else can be built on that personal platform.  I know some of you may have children, spouses or other family members that all require something of you.  Yet, it is key to understand that you will run out of energy, personal desire and self fulfillment if you put everyone else ahead of you. Let me be clear, I am not suggesting that you become selfish for the purposes of driving people away from you. It is simply putting the right priorities in place. Remember YOU are important and if somebody did not tell you this over your life time, let me remind that you were created for a purpose and that you add so much to this world by being the unique and quirky you…. I definitely believe that we are all quirky…that is what makes us unique and great in the universe.  Finally, remember to nourish your soul and spirit by surrounding yourself with things that are good for you  & bring you joy, as a result you will be able to do more for your loved ones because it begins with you first! 

“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow”
- Doug Firebaugh

When I was driving home today, I notice the beautiful clear skies after a couple of days of rainy weather.  I felt the cool breeze hit me and wake me up, as the trees have turned bright green and the leaves swayed in the distance.  At times it is good just to take everything all in and be thankful that the storms have passed.  As in life, when we have our own personal storms to contend with, the feeling that they are in your rear view mirror brings a sense of relief and accomplishment.  Don't forget to acknowledge what you have achieved and how far you have come.  Never think that your accomplishment may be too small in comparison to someone else, as your benchmarks in your life are yours and nobody else's.  Enjoy the Spring air, the new blossoms and blooms and enjoy the place you happen to be in today.

A season, a reason or a lifetime.  This is part of a famous quote that describes why people may come into our lives.  I am also of the belief that this can apply to our family pets, as they may not live as long, yet they leave a long lasting imprint.  I was having a conversation today with someone who will be making a change in their life shortly. The person felt sadness in that they would be leaving their familiar surroundings along with some key people that they have become close to.  I thought about this after our conversation as it reminded me of this quote.  The one thing that I know for sure is that life is not boring.  Things change whether we wish for them to or not.  The mere fact that we age and wisdom comes with that, should be enough reason for us to want to have this happen to us.  Yet, we are human and emotions are part of our complexity and so goes the feeling of not wanting to lose someone that is very close to you.  All people make a lasting impact in our lives.  We learn from people that we did not like so much, the qualities in others we want to avoid.  From the others that brought so much into our lives, we keep them close to our hearts as they continue to add value to us, even after they have moved away or are long gone.  As we grow older it becomes even more important to acknowledge those that are near and with us, as they are the season and the lifetime individuals that stay with us through the rest of our lives.  Time on earth is never guaranteed, so remember to celebrate those individuals for the season, the reason or a lifetime that made you who you are today.    

One of life's concepts that has taken me a while to become better at is that of being consistent. One of the definitions associated with this term is; constantly adhering to the same principles, course or form. When you think about your own life and notice opportunities for improving your consistency, think about this definition. If we had a little more of this in our lives, it could make a big difference in how we react to certain things or navigate in our daily journey. To me being consistent can relate to values, what you eat and avoid eating or perhaps even when you sleep. When things are consistent in my life, I find that there is a more harmonious feeling all around and things are working in sync. This does not mean that you have to be boring by being repetitive, that is an entirely different thing. As you plan your days or weeks ahead, think about the things that you do with consistency. Your habits, if they need improving, then perhaps are in need of a change. Your ability to address those things that you have identified with consistency can lead you down the path that will bring you more balance and a little more harmony as a result.

Although inspiration can come from that which speaks to you, our lives become so busy that we may fail to see those little things that can add up to great joy.  A few days ago I was outside watering my plants and I had a small red crested hummingbird fly right in front of me.  It stayed and hovered for quite some time and I just smiled as it went about its work.  I was quite awed by this colorful creature who appeared quite fearless and confident as he stared right at me.  I could not help but freeze and take the moment in and laugh at what a great sight this was.  The bird decided to move about the plants and decided he would pay a visit to some blooming flowers, periodically looking back at me as it floated about.  This small moment was so powerful for me that it became part of my daily inspirational inventory.  I keep these moments with me, for those periods when things are less than inspiring.  All of these types of moments strung together provide me the energy to move forward and forget that there are things that are not right in our world. Whether it is a child's laughter, someone at a bus stop that was genuine and kind or a beautiful landscape that brings you this type of inspiration, I suggest you add it to your own personal inventory.  With out question, your days will feel more fulfilled and you will realize how abundant your life truly is.

As Spring weather turned stormy recently, I was reminded about how in our own lives we go through the same types of changes.  We may be in a good place and everything is going our way and all of a sudden something occurs which turns our lives into a tailspin.  What gets you through some of these more difficult times?  Although it took me years of practice, I had to have faith that at the end of each day, everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to.  Sometimes we do not see how or why we are going through certain things.  In my own experience I became resolute in learning the lesson, what ever it was and being consistent in my appreciation for what I had.  Having to be grateful during difficult times, was hard to adjust to, yet it always paid off in knowing that my burden was nothing compared to someone else.  I hope that you have the confidence to know that things will always work out and growth & wisdom comes from each experience.  Remember that after a storm, there are clear skies ahead, flowers will bloom and birds will resume their song.  

People used to say that Spring meant that it was time for Spring cleaning.  I think we can utilize this phrase to explore what needs to be cleaned up around your house, but more importantly what are the things that you need to get rid of to make your life more peaceful and fulfilling?  If you have people that are not nurturing around you and don't add value to your life, maybe it is time to separate yourself from them.  Other items that can be on your clean up list, is to finally deal with something that you have been putting off for sometime.  Whether it is cleaning out your closet and getting rid of things that you have not seen and worn in many years or no longer participating in a toxic relationship that depletes you of energy, this is the perfect time to accomplish those tasks.  Remember that you want to add value to others and the people around you should add value to you as well.  Being out of balance can cause you lack of energy both physically and emotionally.  The quicker you address these items on your list, the better you will feel. Positive energy, without clutter or people that get in your way allow you to shine even brighter.

Renewed, refreshed and revitalized.  There are times when you need to recharge your batteries in order for your mind and body to work as optimal as possible.  There are many ways to do this, you can sleep in, read a good book, watch a film or program that inspires you.  The point is that you do have to make time for it.  Especially if you are a person with a lot of things to do and lots of responsibilities.  For me the ability to do this is best done in what I call, my quiet time.  There is no television or music or other distracting noise.  It is simply me.  Most of the time it is a walk by myself outdoors that helps me meditate and clear my mind.  Every so often I need to go to the beach and just sit by the water and take it in.  Watching the crashing waves and the faint noise of birds chirping or flying by, not only calms me down but also helps inspire me.  I hope that you take the time today to do something that helps you feel renewed and ensure that you set some time to do it consistently.

You are not where you want to be, but thank God you are not where you used to be!  I heard this phrase many years ago and can identify with it every time I hear it.  A lot of us are well into our life's journey and we still have many obstacles to overcome and some of us feel that if we get another hurdle coming our way, we may just fall over and not try again.  You must realize that you have come a lot further than what you thought you had and that you have changed so much from the person you once were.  It takes a lifetime of work to realize that you are no longer that previous person that wallowed in pity, sorrow or feelings of unworthiness.  You are where you are meant to be and if your journey needs to take you in a different direction, have confidence that it will lead you to a better place.  Welcome the continued journey and enjoy the scenery along the way.

When was the last time you told someone that is close to you how much you appreciate them?  Being grateful for those that are part of your support network is one thing, however, I think it is great when you voice your gratitude to them every so often.  There are times when things get hectic, that you may feel that you are alone and you do not want to bother anyone with what you are experiencing.  The great thing about having life long friends and those family members that you trust, is that they never leave your side.  Trusted friends and family are harder to come by as one grows older, that is why so many of us have a close circle of people that is not necessarily large, but full of quality individuals.  I call it the quality circle not the quantity circle.  Be grateful for your circle and every so often tell them how much they mean to you.  It will keep your bond stronger and it will give you an opportunity to talk to someone that you really want to hear from.

When you reach a certain goal or achieve something in your life that you were working towards, do you celebrate the accomplishment?  It is important to realize when an achievement takes place to honor the achievement by allowing time for yourself to feel proud of what you have accomplished.  We are so busy with work, children, school and other commitments that celebrating an achievement or goal can sometimes get away from us.  As important as it is to set goals and strive to get past the benchmarks associated with them, you also have to give yourself the time to relish the accomplishment.  If you had supportive friends or family that were part of your achievement, make sure they too are part of your celebration too.  Acknowledging an accomplishment allows one to see how far they have come, especially when you think about the days that you thought you were going to give up.  Be proud of your achievements and before you move on to your next goal, give yourself time to fully embrace what it took to get you here.

I wrote an article some time ago about being resilient. Being resilient means that you can bounce back from anything and that you are capable of being stretched, but not broken.  When I first thought about this, I thought about a rubber band and how you can twist, pull and yank, yet it allows goes back to its original shape.  How resilient are you?  Think of a tall tree weathering a storm.  They too shift and sway with the force of the wind or rain.  In the morning, they are back to normal and sometimes have new leaves and branches growing after the last storm.  The next time you feel that you are being pulled into different directions, remember to persevere by being resilient.  At the end of the day or the beginning of a morning, you will be back to your normal self and having endured a situation will allow you to gain knowledge & strength that you perhaps did not think you had.

Today I am revisiting a previously published article on excuses.  

 Inventing Your Life

“No Excuses”

By

Rob Claudio

I recently participated in a new type of training, that I found very helpful and inspiring.  Among some of the things that we talked at length about was what success meant to us.  After much pondering during the training and now afterwards I realized that not accepting tired old excuses for one’s failure (s) to achieve success, was a great hurdle that most of us have endured at one point or another.  I thought back to the many goals that I have set for myself and accomplished.  Then the one’s that I didn’t exactly achieve. What I found was that there was always a “good excuse” for not meeting some of those goals.  Then I started to think back as to how many times I have used an excuse for those particular goals and I also realized that I had talked myself into accepting the excuse first, so that I would not feel so bad afterwards.  Does this sound familiar to you?  Some of the creative reasoning for my excuses has actually made me laugh out loud, with regards to the lengths that one will go through in order to achieve validation on your excuse.  Are excuses keeping you from achieving success in a particular area?  Are you tired of reiterating your old excuses and coming up with new creative ones?  Both of these questions definitely bring progress to a screeching halt.

Excuses basically stop us from taking action.  An excuse (although it may sound very good) brings us to a stand still and leaves us feeling unfulfilled & sometimes feeling bad about ourselves because we have a sense of failure that goes with it.  I used to always end my day at work with a list of things that I did not finish.  Then I would leave my office and drive thinking about the things I needed to do first thing in the morning.  Sometimes, if I was at a stop light for a little too long, I would call my assistant’s voicemail and leave a message for the many follow up things she would have to do first thing in the morning.  Can you imagine, you leave work one evening feeling like you accomplished quite a bit and then you arrive in the morning to a message that says not only did you not finish enough the day before, you now have a laundry list to tackle as you begin the day.  By the way, I stopped doing this to my assistant a long time ago as I realized that action items would be never ending. Plus we both needed our sanity at 8am.

What I did start doing recently is listing the things that I did accomplish at the end of the day.  Rather than feeling like I did not do enough this new perspective allows for me to focus on what was done.  It is a small change and it stopped me from adding to my list of creative excuses for not completing my to-do list.  Remember that excuses can fester and create a sense of unfulillment.  My hope is that you work on getting rid of excuses and achieve all of the success that you want in your life.  Whatever you define success to be, may it provide enjoyable fulfillment and add to a more balanced life!

 “The courage of conviction, the strength to persevere, the hope that survives disappointment – These are the keys to success”

From the book “No Limits But the Sky

Consistency is a term that has lots of deep meaning.  For those that are striving to achieve something, it means that you need to be disciplined in your efforts towards your goal.  During the course of my lifetime, I have found that being consistent sometimes means that there is no immediate visible change.  This can be discouraging to some, however, you must be diligent in your pursuit, as consistency does pay off in the end.  Do not get impatient when you notice that things do not change right away. It is through repeated disciplined efforts that allow you to reach your intended goal.  When you practice consistency, do so without fanfare, without calling attention to yourself in what you have a achieved.  I have found that consistency accompanied by a dose of humility can make your goal achievement even greater and more fulfilling.  The world is filled with plenty of attention driven things, that add little value to all of us.  We can all do with less of that.  Choose to be consistent in your daily journey and you will notice small changes almost immediately.  It is the sum of these small changes over time, in being consistent that will get you to your goal sooner than you think.

What got you to where you are today?  The answer can take one into a journey of what has transpired through out your life.  Some people had great beginnings to their life, which made them a little more stable as they proceeded with the different stages of their lives.  The others that had a tough beginning, would appear to have struggled with their stages as they went forward.  The interesting piece to this is that those that struggled more, have built character, thick skin and make decisions that are built on all that they have experienced.  There could be an argument made for those that struggled when they were more impressionable, to be more ambitious and have higher expectations as a result.  No matter what path your life has taken, my hope is that people realize their self worth and that good beginnings or not so good one's all have great endings.  

Lead from where you stand.  This is a concept that I learned many years ago by the author Ben Zander, who with his wife wrote a book titled, "The Art Of Possibility".  The concept allows you or others to feel empowered by realizing that you are a leader from where ever you happen to be.  Wherever you are in your life's journey, know that you can exercise your leadership skills at any stage.  You do not need a title to realize this.  By leading from where you stand you are empowered to know that you are in control of that which is around you and are better able to make decisions about what affects your life by taking an active leadership role.  If you lead from where you stand, empower those around you to do the same.  Very soon you will realize that you are surrounded by a team of powerful leaders, who are the catalysts for all types of change.    

Taking a step back is not always a bad thing.  I was thinking of this this morning as I went for a walk and had to step back when I got to a place in the road that made it hard to keep walking forward.  I thought about this as it relates to life.  Sometimes we make plans to go forward and we think we are heading down the right direction to achieve a goal.  However, sometimes you hit a road block that causes you to steer in a different direction.  This can cause you to think that you may not be achieving the goal that you had set out on.  I do believe that sometimes we have to go in a different direction in order to get to the destination we were hoping for.  This teaches us to view things differently and can allow for us to realize something that we may not have thought otherwise.  I agree that there are no mistakes in our lives and sometimes we need to take the longer road or a different one, to get to our destination.  I hope that you take courage in the fact that you are still headed in the right direction and just because you had to alter your course does not mean that you will not get to where you need to be.

An archived column.  I hope you still find meaning in it today.

Inventing Your Life

“Live In The Present”

By

Rob Claudio

 As I contemplate the beginning of the New Year 2010, I first hope and wish all of you had a safe and joyous Holiday Season.  I know that last year was a difficult year for a lot of people and for various different reasons.  It is hard to dust yourself off sometimes and reset your mind to think with a new perspective as you aspire to achieve different things during the coming year.  I had a relaxing rest that allowed me to catch up on some books that I had been meaning to read.  Among them, was one of the most simple, straight forward and yet very powerful books, written by a well known author, Dr. Wayne Dyer.  It was, “10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace”.  It had so many poignant and insightful areas to it, that I will be writing about different topics or chapters within it in the near future.  Although it talks about “secrets”, I believe that a lot of these are really well known topics and that a lot of us have addressed in various forms among our life experiences.  The one chapter or secret as he described it that I am focusing on is one titled, “Giving Up Your Personal History”.  In a very succinct manner he speaks powerfully about how some people remain victims of their own personal history.  He spoke about how most people live their lives hanging on to personal histories to justify their self-defeating behaviors and the scarcity in their lives.  In addition, people hang on to past pains, abuses and shortcomings as calling cards to announce a “poor me” status to everyone they meet within minutes of introduction.  How many people like this have you met?  The victim mentality is then framed by those calling cards that state:  “I was abandoned as a child”, “I’m an alcoholic”, “I am an incest survivor”, “My parents were divorced and I’ve never gotten over it”.  The list could go on and on.  However, the focus should be that your past is over.  By bonding to your past you not only ensure that you’ll be immobilized today, but you prevent yourself from healing.  None of this is to say that you do not acknowledge your history, however, you should not be defined by it and how you live in the present today.

Although a lot of people have lived through many dark periods, accidents, tough episodes, periods of impoverishment, illnesses, abuses and broken dreams, Dr. Dyer asks us to give all of that a new job description and finally retire them or transform them in your own way.  Become free to immerse yourself in this moment called the “present”, because it is simply that – a present to open, relish, nurture, play with – and enjoy!

The willingness and ability to live fully in the now eludes many people.  While eating your appetizer don’t be concerned with dessert.  While reading a book, notice where your thoughts are.  While on vacation, be there instead of thinking about what should have been done and what has to be done when returning home.  Don’t let the elusive present moment get used up by thoughts that aren’t in the here and now.  He uses examples of how animals in nature do not get hung up on their past.  Can you see a dog or a cat in an animal shelter waiting for adoption and incessantly asking themselves, “I wonder why was I abandoned?”, absolutely not.  If you have ever adopted a pet, you know that the minute you walk into a shelter, those animals are staring at different people wanting to go home with a beloved family and living in the present.

One can blame their beginning in life on their Parents, varied circumstances or even luck.  However, as an adult one knows better and is therefore the one held accountable for the remainder of their life. If you did not have the best beginning, you can be determined to have a great, happy and fulfilled ending. I hope that you choose to live out the rest of your living time by focusing on today and changing your attitude about your past.  More importantly, acknowledge what you have gone through, honor it and let it go.  You will feel more alive, less burdened and able to enjoy the present as a result!

“Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it;

Thank you kids, I wouldn’t have missed it.”

-Ogden Nash

Many kids and families are in the process of being off for Spring Break.  This is an opportunity to recharge for many adults and for kids in school a welcome week off.  A lot of people run through their daily routines filled with work, school, church, sports, perhaps caring for others, community service, etc.  We wonder sometimes at night how we got through a whole day or feel guilty that we did not complete something due to lack of time.  The thought of recharging yourself is something that you think about in the distance.  What I have found is that it is necessary to schedule your re-charging breaks through out the day or week regularly. We need to be calculated in those periods by being present in an activity that you really enjoy. This could mean meditating, enjoying a few pages of a good book, laughing out loud about the funniest thing you saw or heard, or going over pictures that bring back heart warming memories of those that are no longer with you.  Take the opportunities to re-charge seriously, just like work or any other activity.  You will find that the charges you get will add to your longevity and your peace of mind.

I am revisiting a published article from last Fall today, I hope it encourages you on your journey. 

Inventing Your Life

“Think Of The Possibilities”

By

Rob Claudio

 My favorite time of year, is that of the Fall season.  I enjoy looking at the leaves turn into vibrant colors, the smell in the morning of the cold nippy air and the chilly evenings that paint the sky and brighten up the stars.  I always like to think that with different seasons, there comes a new perspective.  We grow older with each season and hopefully a bit more wiser as we learn from what has transpired in our lives before.  I always think of the possibilities of what a season brings to my life.  Sometimes those seasons are met with some test of my will and other times, the seasons bring me a much desired new beginning.  I have noticed over the years that those around me with negative thinking, I tend to slowly filter out of my life.  Frankly, I find myself not having the time or patience for them.  For those people with a perspective of “a glass have empty”, it has been a lifetime of work to get there.  I believe, it takes quite a bit of effort to think more negatively than it does to think more positively.  I do not want to hear about problems an limitations, I see those every night on the news.  What attracts me are those that speak, possibility, as it energizes me and provokes a more creative thought process.  Negative thinking also blows things out of proportion, as it makes problems seem larger and much more difficult than they really are.  Sometimes it may appear that if you are the only person with an optimistic outlook, you may be standing alone among your family, friends or co-workers.  Do not let that detract you.  I have found that you have to be true to yourself and your beliefs.  If thinking possibilities is not a welcome topic of conversation among your circles, then perhaps you have out grown some of those.  I have seen a familiar saying over the years in various inspirational material that says, “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”.  I am sure you have seen this as well.  I believe that we tend to stay with what is comfortable and as such, we sometimes stay among those that were meant for only a season.  I hope that you begin to use your human filter wisely and take inventory of those things where the season ended long ago.  Make it a priority to embrace those things or people that enrich your life.  We work and live our lives at such a fast speed, that we need to ensure that we put ourselves first.  As such, your possibilities will multiply and hopefully you will enjoy a more fulfilled life.  May you enjoy the Fall season as much as I do.  Remember when you see a Fall leaf or feel the cool morning or evening air, may it remind you that your possibilities are endless.  It is your life and your story!

 “Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities”

-Terry Josephson

Treat people with respect.  I think we have lost some ground on this topic, as our communication styles have changed over the years.  We do not have a person in front of us or over the phone when we communicate.  We send messages and read texts.  However, people forget that what they say affects a human being and not a number or an email address.  We have to remain vigilant so that our children and the adults of tomorrow remember that treating people with dignity and respect is an expectation for all.  Every time I hear of a tragedy, such as the one yesterday in Oakland or last week in Florida, I can't help but think what can cause a person to lose so much respect for human life, that this becomes an acceptable alternative?  We have to be better people and make the right choices that reflect that.  Let's start by holding ourselves accountable and those around us.  One step at a time, we can hopefully regain some of the ground that has been lost.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making complicated.
-Confucius

Inventing Your Life

“Permission to Change”

by

Rob Claudio

For a very long time, I have seen and watched as many people around me whether they were family or friends struggled with the concept of change.  Personally or professionally, it has always been a challenge for many.  What allows you to change?  Sometimes it is a life altering event that becomes the catalyst for many to say, I cannot do this anymore.  For some it can be a health crisis, that brings about something that a person may have been thinking for a very long time, that now needs action.  For others, it could be something that they were contemplating for a very long time, perhaps years as they secretly wished that they had the courage to take a step that would take them out of their comfort zone and lead them to an unknown path.  Change does not come easy for a large number of folks.  For some it can be easier, however, the hardest changes take conviction, courage and faith that all things will work to your ultimate good.  One of the hardest things to observe is when people are struggling to end a long term relationship, especially when there are children and other people involved.  As difficult as this decision and its aftermath is, the true damage lies sometimes when people continue to stay with each other causing a lifetime of irreparable damage.  There are many things to consider when making some life altering changes.  The one thing that should be at the top of people’s list of pros and cons is the permission to allow yourself to be happy.  Life is painfully funny when you think about how some people grew up in damaged homes with damaged adults as their parents or guardians.  Yet, when they have the opportunity as adults themselves to be completely different from what they knew growing up, they end up repeating the same things that they said they were never going to allow in their homes or to be a part of.  Most of us grow up whether consciously or not, practicing what formulated us as children.  The key is as an adult, you have to have a good enough filter to make a distinction of what was a good learned behavior and what should no longer be part of how we behave now.  Many times as adults we are challenged with a life lesson.  Yet, in many instances we keep repeating the same lesson over and over.  I firmly believe that the reason that this continues is because we have not learned the lesson.  Once you get the lesson, then almost indelibly you move on.  Dealing with your capacity to change is a lesson in itself, however, the more work that you can accomplish towards this goal, the more joy you will bring to your life as a result.  As difficult as it is to make life altering changes, consider the alternative.  If we don’t change, then chances are we are stagnant while living with constant apprehension and or fear. Accompanied by this is probably the hardest thing for me to see in people and that is not living up to their potential with a lack of joy in their lives.  If you have been thinking for a long time, that you need to make some changes, then let this article be your catalyst that gives you permission to proceed with the work involved in change.  I hope that you call upon those qualities I mentioned earlier that drive your ability to change and I wish everyone the capacity and support to continue in the path that you feel you are compelled towards.  Remember that many people have felt the way you have before and many people have succeeded and are living examples for us to point to.  Look for those living examples, as they are all around you.  If they could do it, then so can you!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  --Maria Robinson